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Tigg · 06-23-2005

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the ex- husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit...

Repairmen refused to work in the house...

The maid quit...

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called her ex-husband and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home
terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...

including the curtain rods.

I Love a Happy Ending, Don't You??

**mike** · 06-23-2005

To that,all I can say is DAMN,that is one spiteful female there.I'm glad my divorce went alot easier than that.

Tigg · 06-23-2005

Well, mine sure didn't! :dry:

**mike** · 06-23-2005

The only reason mine did was because I knew I couldn't win.I could never have custody of my daughter at the time 'cause of my job (flew in AF). So I just gave her everything except one thing.....I wanted my electric can opener.That was 11 years ago and that same can opener still works.Looks like hell,but she works.

Tigg · 06-23-2005

Well, at least you were smart enough not to go for the curtain rods :laugh:

**mike** · 06-23-2005

True that!!!!! :laugh:

MMM · 06-23-2005

So did the can opener out last your marriage?

Post edited by: mmm, at: 2005/06/23 16:22

**ob1** · 06-23-2005

Well, that one came out of left field! :laugh:

Good one, Tigg. :)

**Thender** · 06-23-2005

Spitefull, But extremely sneaky... I like it! :laugh: If it happens to me, I'll know where to start looking.

**mike** · 06-23-2005

M,yes it did.By a long time

Dave · 06-23-2005

'The bitch is out of hand!'

**Thender** · 06-23-2005

Dave wrote:

Quote:

'The bitch is out of hand!'

Nothing wrong with a little vendictiveness... I'd say he had it coming, since he's the one with the 'girl-friend' in the story.

But, like I said, I just hope it never happens to me... Besides, I'm the one who knows all the tricks and jokes in this family!!! :y32b4:

TNT_Tony · 06-23-2005

Dave wrote:

Quote:

'The bitch is out of hand!'

I forgot about that line.

Post edited by: TNT_Tony, at: 2005/06/24 00:34

06-23-2005	#1
Tigg TnTU Grade School Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 6 Throcks: 160.14 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	The Curtain Rods She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the ex- husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen refused to work in the house... The maid quit... Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called her ex-husband and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back... Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home... including the curtain rods. I Love a Happy Ending, Don't You??

06-23-2005	#2
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 12,981 Throcks: 1,073.93 Thanks: 694 Thanked 147 Times in 65 Posts	Re:The Curtain Rods To that,all I can say is DAMN,that is one spiteful female there.I'm glad my divorce went alot easier than that. __________________ "A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

06-23-2005	#3
Tigg TnTU Grade School Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 6 Throcks: 160.14 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re:The Curtain Rods Well, mine sure didn't! :dry:

06-23-2005	#4
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 12,981 Throcks: 1,073.93 Thanks: 694 Thanked 147 Times in 65 Posts	Re:The Curtain Rods The only reason mine did was because I knew I couldn't win.I could never have custody of my daughter at the time 'cause of my job (flew in AF). So I just gave her everything except one thing.....I wanted my electric can opener.That was 11 years ago and that same can opener still works.Looks like hell,but she works. __________________ "A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

06-23-2005	#5
Tigg TnTU Grade School Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 6 Throcks: 160.14 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re:The Curtain Rods Well, at least you were smart enough not to go for the curtain rods :laugh:

06-23-2005	#6
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 12,981 Throcks: 1,073.93 Thanks: 694 Thanked 147 Times in 65 Posts	Re:The Curtain Rods True that!!!!! :laugh: __________________ "A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

06-23-2005	#7
MMM Enjoy In Moderation Join Date: May 2005 Location: blair Age: 35 Posts: 3,101 Throcks: 700.64 Thanks: 0 Thanked 50 Times in 19 Posts	Re:The Curtain Rods So did the can opener out last your marriage? Post edited by: mmm, at: 2005/06/23 16:22

06-23-2005	#8
ob1 TnTU Guru Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 6,118 Throcks: 431.39 Thanks: 643 Thanked 142 Times in 55 Posts	Re:The Curtain Rods Well, that one came out of left field! :laugh: Good one, Tigg. :)

06-23-2005	#9
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 19,316 Throcks: 1,801.28 Thanks: 671 Thanked 541 Times in 212 Posts	Re:The Curtain Rods Spitefull, But extremely sneaky... I like it! :laugh: If it happens to me, I'll know where to start looking. __________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

06-23-2005	#10
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 12,981 Throcks: 1,073.93 Thanks: 694 Thanked 147 Times in 65 Posts	Re:The Curtain Rods M,yes it did.By a long time __________________ "A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

06-23-2005	#11
Dave Administrator Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jun 2004 Age: 38 Posts: 5,119 Throcks: 1,453.55 Thanks: 31 Thanked 106 Times in 39 Posts	Re:The Curtain Rods 'The bitch is out of hand!' __________________ "Pump it up until you can feel it. Pump it up, when you don't really need it." - Elvis Costello -------------------------------------------- Todd and Tyler Streaming Questions, comments, concerns? Contact the Empire

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