Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

MMM

Bartenders Psychology:
Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink..................

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.


THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----
The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He's gay

Thender

Whoooo!!! That is pretty true M'... Although my take on it is: Any gal/guy in a bar ordrering a drink = any guy/gal looking for a 'hook-up' Except for the 'wine' ordorers... There just gay..... :laugh: :laugh:

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

TNT_Tony

So in the end all people want to do is hook up!

__________________
"And don't even think about trying to steal it. 'cause we're gonna frisk you......Everywhere."

mike

You are catching on quick Tony! :laugh:

__________________
"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

TNT_Tony

Thanks Mike. I try!

__________________
"And don't even think about trying to steal it. 'cause we're gonna frisk you......Everywhere."

2ox

HEY QUERVO! :blink:

__________________
"Sheep go to heaven, goats go to Daves"

ob1

Domestic beer drinker here! :P

mike

That makes 2 of us,and an occasional Jack drinker.

__________________
"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

Thender

Jack Daniels, Southern Comfort, and Heffy Wiesen (German beer)... :P

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

mike

oooh-la-la.excuuuuse me sire! :laugh:

__________________
"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

Thender

Don't 'sire' me buddy! I work for a living! :laugh:

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

mike

Not drinking that dark shit,you don't. :laugh: ;)

__________________
"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

Thender

Heffy is not Dark beer, thats double bach and triple bach beer. ;) A liter or two of heffy will have ya hanging onto lamp posts on the way home. A comparable taste would be warm Budwieser. Anything else ya want to know grasshopper? :laugh:

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

mike

I'm sorry,master Yoshi! But warm Bud tastes like horse piss. :laugh:

__________________
"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

Thender

Granted, it's an aquired taste... Only took me a few gallons before I started liking it. :P

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

mike

Afew gallons,EACH time?? ;) Your a bigger man than me

__________________
"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

Thender

It was a mission with a reachable objective that I met and conquered... It's what happened after the missions that's a little fuzzy. :blink:

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

mike

I know what you mean.I've been on quite a few of those myself.Just waking up the next morning thanking someone you weren't in jail or dead,or both.

__________________
"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

Thender

Aint that the truth! It's a wonder I even found my way back to the post a few times.... :laugh:

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

mike

Ahhhhhhhh! meeeeeeemories!! Alot of times I should have been arrested at the gate,amazed they let me in.I think the only reason they did was 'cause they knew I was going straight to the dorms which wasn't far.

__________________
"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

Thender

The best was that first night back in from the field. And then walking out to formation on Monday morning and seeing two dumpsters overloaded with beer cases... :laugh: Of course the Commander never said anything. Probably because we were picking him up off the floor on Saturday night...

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

mike

One sticks out in my mind.We had 'get home free' cards. Get too drunk,call a cab,then hand them this card they will take you home free.But the kicker is this.Each squadron had their own,and you had to put your name and rank on them,but we weren't going to get in trouble.All these cards went right back to the commander.So long story short,come Commander's Call time,he was up there,gave his speech,then at the end,said he doesn't care if we use them,but it was a pretty safe bet he didn't use 25 of them.(had his name on it)That got a roll out of us. :laugh:

__________________
"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

Thender

Good one. :laugh: Sounds like the same crap we pulled. We never had any free cards, though on new years we always had a big bash at the O' club for the Battery. Some poor slob was picked to drive the 'Van' that had to take the drunks back to their quarters.

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

mike

Good job for the low man on the totem pole. :laugh:

__________________
"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

Thender

Not exactly. It usually wound up going to an E4 or E5. Wish I could live that part of my life again. Such wild times. :P

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.