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2ox

The Pianist

This man with Tourette's Syndrome walks into the most exclusive restaurant in town.

'Where's the pissing, motherfucking manager, you cocksucking asswipe?' he inquires of one of the waiters.

The waiter is taken-aback and replies, 'Excuse me sir but could you please refrain from using that sort of language in here. I will get the manager as soon as I can'.

The manager comes over and the man asks, 'Are you the chicken-fucking manager of this bastard place?'

'Yes sir, I am,' replies the manager, 'but I would prefer it if you could refrain from speaking such profanities in my restaurant'.

'Pardon?' says the manager.

'Fucking deaf as well, are we? You snivelling little piece of shit, show me your cunting piano.'

'Ah,' replies the manager, 'you've come about the pianist job' and shows the man to the piano.

'Can you play any blues?'

'Of course I fucking can,' and the bloke proceeds to play the most inspiring and beautiful sounding honky-tonk blues that the manager has ever heard.

'That's superb. What's it called?'

'I tried to screw yer missus on the sofa but the springs kept hurting my dick,' replies the man.

The manager is a bit disturbed and asks if the man knows any jazz. The guy proceeds, playing the most melancholy jazz solo the manager has ever heard.

'Magnificent,' cries the manager. 'What's it called?'

'I Wanted a wank over the washing machine but I got my balls caught in the soap drawer'.

The manager is a tad embarrassed and asks if he knows any romantic ballads.

The man then plays the most heartbreaking melody the manager has ever heard, 'And what's this called?' asks the manager

'As I fuck you under the stars with the moonlight shining off your hairy ring-piece,' replies the man.

The manager is highly upset by the man's language but offers him the job on condition that he doesn't introduce any of his songs or talk to any of the customers.

This arrangement works well for a couple of months until one night, sitting opposite him, is the most gorgeous blonde he has ever laid his eyes on.

She's wearing an almost see through dress, her breasts are almost falling out the top of her black lace bra, and the skimpy little g-string she's wearing is doing very little to conceal her ample charms.

She's sitting there with her legs slightly open, sucking suggestively on asparagus shoots as the butter is dripping down her chin.

The image is too much for the man and he scurries off to the mensroom to furiously masturbate.

He's tugging away furiously when he hears the manager's voice. 'Where's that bastard pianist?'

He just has time to relieve himself, and in a fluster he runs back to the piano having not bothered to adjust himself properly, sits down and starts playing some more tunes.

The blonde steps up and walks over to the piano, leans over and whispers in his ear,

'Do you know your cock and balls are hanging out your pants and dripping spunk on your shoes?'

The man replies 'Know it? I fucking wrote it.'

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"I took a look inside your bedroom door...You looked so good lying on your bed...Well, I asked you if you wanted any rhythm and love...You said you wanna rock 'n' roll instead"

Daphne

aaahaha




shit your going to have click on it

Sweet William

That's real fucking funny you big titted eyeball rolling slut Sorry Daphne . . . you bitch! ! ! ! . . . God . . I have to find my mother fucking make me fucking feel good pills . . .SHIT.

(Please take no fucking offense) it's . . .a . . fucking joke! ! ! !

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So . . . . There I was

Daphne

I'm not fuckin offended cock sucker...

2ox

ahaaaa ha ha ha

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"I took a look inside your bedroom door...You looked so good lying on your bed...Well, I asked you if you wanted any rhythm and love...You said you wanna rock 'n' roll instead"

TNT_Tony

What the boob is going on here?!

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