Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

MMM

1. Men are like .... Laxatives .... They irritate the shit out of you.

2. Men are like .... Bananas .... The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like .... Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them..

4. Men are like .... Blenders .... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like .... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like .... Commercials .... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like .... Department Stores .... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like .... Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like .... Mascara .... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like .... Popcorn .... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like .... Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like .... Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like .... Parking Spots .... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

jpa

In response

__________________
"Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance."
--Sam Brown

KUfan_Donnie

That was funny, MMM...


Men are like snowstorms, eh?

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One weekend survived

TNT_Tony

Heh heh MMM said 'bananas'!

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"And don't even think about trying to steal it. 'cause we're gonna frisk you......Everywhere."

jpa

Now remember to be politically correct

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY
APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" She is "PICTORIALLY
SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's REAR
CLEAVAGE

__________________
"Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance."
--Sam Brown

mike

Nice, you two. I like them all.

__________________
"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

Thender

I liked a couple of those, can't wait to tell the wife them...

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Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

MMM

Vocally Appreciative, Chemically Inconvenienced, Pictorially Superior, Breasted American..

Nazarah

I represent this fact!!!

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Morality is doing what is right no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told no matter what is right

josh

nice work MMM.

__________________
THIS SPACE FOR RENT.

Lynniebits

Men are like snowstorms...I like that one.

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God I need a nap.

teachergirl

I would be VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE, CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED, reformed SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED BREASTED AMERICAN.

Personally, I don't mind being called a drunk whore...as mike says, "I yam what I yam"

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Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

Lynniebits

OK so I am a Light-Haired Detour off the Information Superhighway who occasionally is Vocally Appreciative, Chemically Inconvenienced, has been Sexually Extroverted in the past, and is a Pictorially Superior Brested American.
Acutally I prefer dumb blonde who is a screamer, gets drunk, then gets easy, has big boobs, and doesn't mind being called a chick.

__________________
God I need a nap.

Thender

Stop it!! Your making me !!!

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

teachergirl

Isn't that my job?

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Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

Thender

You do have a hand in it, of course.

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Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

teachergirl

So, who will keep my other hand occupied?

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Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

jugHEAD

Of course I am here for all of your hands (and any) needs!!!!!! What are freinds for!!?!?!?!

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AHHHH the force is long with this one!!!!

teachergirl

Oh jug, you sure do know how to sweet talk a girl!

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Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

Two2mnyxs

theres nothing wrong with a good handie under the table

__________________
WOW HAIL HORDE
If you Play and want a good group to run with email me James.hayes@offutt.af.mil

this space for rent

Chubby

And we all know where the man's on and off switch can be found.........

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Getting Hitched to a Redneck!

Lynniebits

No my job is flirting, your job is actually doing them while I check their pockets for anything of value.

__________________
God I need a nap.

teachergirl

Shhh....these guys don't know our con yet (flick of the finger on the nose)

__________________
Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

Lynniebits

You quack me up!

__________________
God I need a nap.

teachergirl

At least you got the finger flick thing...I was worried I'd have to explain the premise of "The Sting"

__________________
Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.