04-28-2006
| #1 |
| Yes.... I'm still a Redneck!    Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Seward, NE Age: 32
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|  California Drivers License Application We might have to fill this out if we move! :-) 2006 CALIFORNIA DRIVERS LICENSE APPLICATION APPLICATION For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study real hard. This is a newexam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in California, the California Department of Motor Vehicles has revised this exam and driver's test solely for California. 2006 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION Name: _______________________ Stage Name:________________________ Agent: ________________________ Attorney:________________________ Therapist's Name: _________________ Sex: [ ] Male [ ] Female* [ ] Formerly Male [ ] Formerly Female [ ] Both *If female, indicate breast implant size: _______ Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? [ ] Yes [ ] No Please list brand of cell phone: ________________. If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't: ________________________________________. (Use extra pages, if necessary) Please check hair color: Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead [ ] Other ___________ Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that apply) [ ] Eating [ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee [ ] Applying make-up [ ] Shaving (male or female) [X] Talking on the phone (already checked for your convenience) [ ] Lifting weights [ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs [ ] Tanning [ ] Snorting cocaine [ ] Watching TV [ ] Reading Variety [ ] Surfing the net via laptop [ ] Discharging firearms / reloading Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to: [ ] a) Shoot at other drivers ___ [ ] b) Be shot at ___ If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately: [ ] a) Call the police to report the crime. [ ] b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high- speed chase. [ ] c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for your 911 call not going through. [ ] d) Call your therapist. In the event of an earthquake, you should: [ ] a) Stop your car. [ ] b) Keep driving and hope for the best. [ ] c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones. [ ] d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9. In the instance of rain, you should: [ ] a) Never drive over 5 MPH. [ ] b) Drive twice as fast as usual. [ ] c) You're not sure what "rain" is. Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per week: ________ Are you presently taking any of the following medications? [ ] a) Prozac [ ] b) Zovirax [ ] c) Lithium [ ] d) Zanax [ ] e) Valium [ ] f) Medical pot [ ] g) Zoloft [ ] h) All of the above [ ] i) None of the above* * If none, please explain: __________________. Length of daily commute: [ ] a) Less than 1 hour* [ ] b) 1 hour [ ] c) 2 hours [ ] d) 3 hours [ ] e) 4 hours or more * If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________. When stopped by police, you should: [ ] a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready. [ ] b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the freeway. [ ] c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit. When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window, it means: [ ] a) Her turn-signals are broken. [ ] b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes. [ ] c) She is drying her nails. Which part of your car will wear out first? [ ] a) The wiper blades [ ] b) The seat belts [ ] c) The horn Automatic door locks are good for: [ ] a) Security [ ] b) Convenience [ ] c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in. The "bright" setting on your headlights is for: [ ] a) Dark, poorly lit roads [ ] b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way [ ] c) Revenge Please indicate your first language: [ ] a) Spanish [ ] b) Korean [ ] c) Farsi [ ] d) Tagalog [ ] e) Chinese [ ] f) Aramaic [ ] g) Sanumá (Yanomami Indian) [ ] h) Kalahari Bushman [ ] i) Klingon (original Star Trek only) [ ] j) English* * If English, please explain: _______________. (Speaking English does not automatically disqualify you, but you will be looked upon with great suspicion.)
__________________ Getting Hitched to a Redneck!  |
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04-29-2006
| #2 |
| Olivia Munn is F***ing HOT!!  Listens: Z92 - 3rd Shift Replay Join Date: May 2005 Location: Bellevue, NE Age: 25
Posts: 5,418
Throcks: 761.32 Thanks: 2
Thanked 94 Times in 27 Posts
| Re: California Drivers License Application Wow..
__________________ "And don't even think about trying to steal it. 'cause we're gonna frisk you......Everywhere." |
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04-29-2006
| #3 |
| Always riding the ragged edge of disaster.    Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38
Posts: 19,316
Throcks: 1,801.28 Thanks: 671
Thanked 541 Times in 212 Posts
| Re: California Drivers License Application Funny, but true.....
__________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.  |
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04-29-2006
| #4 |
| TnTU Sophomore  Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 97
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| Re: California Drivers License Application I am from California and this is no suprise.
__________________ Mayor Landow. Please Go F#*k Yourself!      |
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