Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

**Thender** · 05-31-2006

Redneck Jedi

You Might be a Redneck Jedi If.....

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya'll."

* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

* You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

* The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

* Wookies are offended by your B.O.

* You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

* You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

* Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side... it'll be a hoot."

* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

* You have a Confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

* You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

* Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

* You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.

* You were the only one drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

* Your business cards read "Billy Bob, Jedi Master".

* Your Y-wing fighter has a bumper sticker that reads "My other fighter is an X-wing".

* You know Ewoks squeal like pigs.

* You use your R-2 unit as a beer coaster.

* When your sister wears her metallic bikini, you insist she travels by clinging to you while swinging on a rope.

* Your land-speeder had a light saber rack.

* Your land-speeder has a bumper sticker that reads "Protected by Smith & Wesson Light Sabers"

* If you hear ... "Billy Bob, I am your father ... AND your uncle!"

**Thender** · 05-31-2006

Here's another for Ob1....

Star Pants

Top 25 Lines in Star Wars that Can Be Improved by Substituting the word "Pants"

1. A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.

2. You are unwise to lower your pants.

3. We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.

4. She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.

5. These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.

6. I find your lack of pants disturbing.

7. These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.

8. Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!

9. General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.

10. I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.

11. TK-421. . . Why aren't you in your pants?

12. Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.

13. Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.

14. You look strong enough to pull the pants off of a Gundark.

15. Luke. . . Help me take...these pants off.

16. Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.

17. That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!

18. Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

19. Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.

20. Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially one. Your sister!

21. Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.

22. Yeah, well short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.

23. Attention. This is Lando Calrissean. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.

24. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.

25. You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.

**ob1** · 05-31-2006

lol!! I love it!

Number 8 and 19 are my favs...

**Thender** · 05-31-2006

This was my favorite.....

Quote:

2. You are unwise to lower your pants.

I say this to mike every night....

**ob1** · 05-31-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by thender

This was my favorite.....

I say this to mike every night....

lol...

jpa · 06-01-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by thender

2. You are unwise to lower your pants.
6. I find your lack of pants disturbing.
9. General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.
12. Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.
15. Luke. . . Help me take...these pants off.
17. That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!
18. Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
19. Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.
20. Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong.
22. Yeah, well short pants is better than no pants at all,
24. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
25. You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.

Lines overheard at a bored bastards convention

**ob1** · 06-01-2006

^Yeah, the 3 of us just show up at a Star Wars gathering and set up our own booth.

**mike** · 06-01-2006

We have our own line of gear too.

**Thender** · 06-01-2006

And we have our own hand shake!

Chris84 · 06-01-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by thender

Redneck Jedi

* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Busch Light.

its that if you live in Nebraska otherwise PBR and Miller High Life work too.

05-31-2006	#1
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 20,395 Throcks: 3,831.18 Thanks: 4,475 Thanked 4,810 Times in 1,289 Posts	Please don't hurt me Ob1... Redneck Jedi You Might be a Redneck Jedi If..... * You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya'll." * Your Jedi robe is camouflage. * You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light. * At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored. * You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. * You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard. * The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. * Wookies are offended by your B.O. * You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. * You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling. * Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side... it'll be a hoot." * You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light. * You have a Confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder. * You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window. * Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women. * You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. * You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck. * You were the only one drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene. * Your business cards read "Billy Bob, Jedi Master". * Your Y-wing fighter has a bumper sticker that reads "My other fighter is an X-wing". * You know Ewoks squeal like pigs. * You use your R-2 unit as a beer coaster. * When your sister wears her metallic bikini, you insist she travels by clinging to you while swinging on a rope. * Your land-speeder had a light saber rack. * Your land-speeder has a bumper sticker that reads "Protected by Smith & Wesson Light Sabers" * If you hear ... "Billy Bob, I am your father ... AND your uncle!" __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

05-31-2006	#2
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 20,395 Throcks: 3,831.18 Thanks: 4,475 Thanked 4,810 Times in 1,289 Posts	Re: Please don't hurt me Ob1... Here's another for Ob1.... Star Pants Top 25 Lines in Star Wars that Can Be Improved by Substituting the word "Pants" 1. A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master. 2. You are unwise to lower your pants. 3. We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down. 4. She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander. 5. These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts. 6. I find your lack of pants disturbing. 7. These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it. 8. Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time! 9. General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault. 10. I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home. 11. TK-421. . . Why aren't you in your pants? 12. Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants. 13. Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board. 14. You look strong enough to pull the pants off of a Gundark. 15. Luke. . . Help me take...these pants off. 16. Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants. 17. That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational! 18. Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this. 19. Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness. 20. Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially one. Your sister! 21. Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser. 22. Yeah, well short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie. 23. Attention. This is Lando Calrissean. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive. 24. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants. 25. You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought. __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

05-31-2006	#3
ob1 Jedi SlaveBoy Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 6,371 Throcks: 1,443.07 Thanks: 1,356 Thanked 1,351 Times in 308 Posts	Re: Please don't hurt me Ob1... lol!! I love it! Number 8 and 19 are my favs... __________________ "Hey, great..."

06-01-2006	#7
ob1 Jedi SlaveBoy Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 6,371 Throcks: 1,443.07 Thanks: 1,356 Thanked 1,351 Times in 308 Posts	Re: Please don't hurt me Ob1... ^Yeah, the 3 of us just show up at a Star Wars gathering and set up our own booth. __________________ "Hey, great..."

06-01-2006	#8
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 13,398 Throcks: 4,730.38 Thanks: 5,018 Thanked 1,924 Times in 481 Posts	Re: Please don't hurt me Ob1... We have our own line of gear too. __________________ "The moving sidewalk is coming to an end, please lift up your balls !!"- Todd

06-01-2006	#9
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 20,395 Throcks: 3,831.18 Thanks: 4,475 Thanked 4,810 Times in 1,289 Posts	Re: Please don't hurt me Ob1... And we have our own hand shake! __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

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