Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Jasmine

ACTUAL QUOTES TAKEN FROM FEDERAL GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE
PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS.

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and
has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a
rat in a trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails
to achieve them."

9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it
all together."

12. "A gross ignoramus...144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."!

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was through using it"

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train ain't coming."

24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60 Minutes'."

32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

jpa

__________________
"Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance."
--Sam Brown

Thender

I can believe it!

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Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009

Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

2ox

I think this is from one of mine....


"Donated his brain to science before he was through using it"

__________________
"I took a look inside your bedroom door...You looked so good lying on your bed...Well, I asked you if you wanted any rhythm and love...You said you wanna rock 'n' roll instead"