Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Jasmine

1. "Fine"
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER use "Fine" to describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)

2. "Five minutes"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that it's an even trade.

3. "Nothing"
"Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "Five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine."

5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows)
This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

6. "Loud Sigh"
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

7. "Soft Sigh"
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.

8. "Oh"
This word -- followed by any statement -- is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days.

9. "That's Okay"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have one. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.

10. "Please Do"
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

11. "Thanks"
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome."

12. "Thanks A Lot"
"Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from "Thanks." A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "Loud Sigh." This signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

Thender

To much information... Brain overload... Danger! Danger!

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Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009

Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

jpa

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"Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance."
--Sam Brown

aarona1c

Oldie but a real goodie. Not only a joke, but life lessons.

Thender

Yes! You are right!.....

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Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009

Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

Jasmine

Actually, I always thought a woman says "Fuck you" by saying "Fine" whereas a man says "Fuck you" by saying "Yes, dear."

josh

true.

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THIS SPACE FOR RENT.

Thender

Gee, My wife means "fuck you!" when she says "fuck you!"

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Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009

Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

aarona1c

Really? See, my girlfriend says, "fuck me!", and, well, you know...

Thender

You throw her out the window...

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Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009

Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

ob1

lol...You crazy kids!

Hey thender!.....Yes, dear!

aarona1c

No Thender, you're mistaking me throwing my girlfriend out my window with me crawling in your girlfriends window.

Either that, or some other, better comeback that I'd come up with if I were sober.

Thender

Right............ Have a nice life.............Tommyknocker.........

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Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009

Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

aarona1c

yep.

Thender

Right.............

__________________

Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009

Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

Vulcan Shocker

uh, no. I mean, yep.

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Eye of the mind makes a moogie. -Jack Nicholson

Vulcan Shocker

A1c, where you from in Pap-town?

__________________
Eye of the mind makes a moogie. -Jack Nicholson