Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Jasmine

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. About lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives,then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are!
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Thender

I always use the sink..........

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

ob1

*chuckles* ...good thing I have plenty of duct tape

jpa

only 2 things you need...Duct tape and WD-40

__________________
"Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance."
--Sam Brown

Thender

And vice grips.....

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

mike

and a ball-peen hammer

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"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

Thender

And a seal-pick.....

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.