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josh · 07-02-2006

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

BONUS QUESTION: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. Birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1.) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2.) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman Year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and then take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct. Leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!!!"
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".

**Thender** · 07-02-2006

That is one creative bastard!

jpa · 07-02-2006

nice, even if it wsa hard to read

**Thender** · 07-02-2006

Just high-light the text, then it's easy to read...

**ob1** · 07-02-2006

A+ in my book!

KUfan_Donnie · 07-04-2006

Dammit!

Why couldn't I come up with some of this GREAT wise ass material when I was sweating through finals? Apparently, my B.S.-ing skills are in need of improvement (this dude has set the bar high...)

**Thender** · 07-04-2006

When I was a sophmore I had an English teacher give out an assignment of writing a two page paper on "What is Your Hobby". I wrote about my hobby of collecting antique cartridges and collecting antique firearms. She gave me an "F" and wrote on the top corner of the essay "Firearms are dangerous! You have no business being around them!"

I spent the next hour, which was a study hall period being conducted by this same teacher, writing a 4 page rebuttal on why a teacher can not grade an oppinion. I gave it to her at the end of the study hall.

The next day I got a revised grade on my original paper. It was an A+....

I just wish that I had saved both of those papers.....

07-02-2006	#1
josh MMMMMMM......BBQ Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: THE UNIQUE CITY OF BELLEVUE Age: 31 Posts: 2,219 Throcks: 1.25 Thanks: 10 Thanked 26 Times in 8 Posts	This is funny The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well: BONUS QUESTION: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. Birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1.) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2.) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman Year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and then take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct. Leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!!!" THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A". __________________ THIS SPACE FOR RENT.

07-02-2006	#2
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 19,316 Throcks: 1,801.28 Thanks: 671 Thanked 541 Times in 212 Posts	Re: This is funny That is one creative bastard! __________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

07-02-2006	#3
jpa Special Members Listens: Podcast Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 28 Posts: 6,163 Throcks: 410.32 Thanks: 5 Thanked 71 Times in 21 Posts	Re: This is funny nice, even if it wsa hard to read __________________ "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --Sam Brown

07-02-2006	#4
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 19,316 Throcks: 1,801.28 Thanks: 671 Thanked 541 Times in 212 Posts	Re: This is funny Just high-light the text, then it's easy to read... __________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

07-02-2006	#5
ob1 TnTU Guru Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 6,118 Throcks: 431.39 Thanks: 643 Thanked 142 Times in 55 Posts	Re: This is funny A+ in my book!

07-04-2006	#6
KUfan_Donnie 1-800-BETS-OFF Listens: Podcast Join Date: May 2005 Age: 21 Posts: 3,480 Throcks: 266.63 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: This is funny Dammit! Why couldn't I come up with some of this GREAT wise ass material when I was sweating through finals? Apparently, my B.S.-ing skills are in need of improvement (this dude has set the bar high...) __________________ One weekend survived

07-04-2006	#7
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 19,316 Throcks: 1,801.28 Thanks: 671 Thanked 541 Times in 212 Posts	Re: This is funny When I was a sophmore I had an English teacher give out an assignment of writing a two page paper on "What is Your Hobby". I wrote about my hobby of collecting antique cartridges and collecting antique firearms. She gave me an "F" and wrote on the top corner of the essay "Firearms are dangerous! You have no business being around them!" I spent the next hour, which was a study hall period being conducted by this same teacher, writing a 4 page rebuttal on why a teacher can not grade an oppinion. I gave it to her at the end of the study hall. The next day I got a revised grade on my original paper. It was an A+.... I just wish that I had saved both of those papers..... __________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

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