Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

MMM · 07-07-2006

Bumper Stickers

Horn broken. Watch for finger.

Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot.

All generalizations are false.

Cover me. I’m changing lanes.

I brake for no apparent reason.

Learn from your parents’ mistakes—use birth control.

I’m not as think as you drunk I am.

Forget about World Peace... Visualize using your turn signal.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

O’Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

I love cats... they taste just like chicken.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.

Born free... Taxed to death.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.

All men are idiots, and I married their King.

Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.

Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.

Montana—At least our cows are sane!

I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

If you don’t like the news, go out and make some.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt—in case heaven is like the IRS.

Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.

No radio—Already stolen.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

Real women don’t have hot flashes, they have power surges.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?

Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.

Tell me to “stuff it”—I’m a taxidermist.

IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.

It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

According to my calculations, the problem doesn’t exist.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?

How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

i souport publik edekashun.

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.

Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.

My kid had sex with your honor student.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply.

Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

I’m just driving this way to piss you off.

Keep honking, I’m reloading.

Hang up and drive.

Lord save me from your followers.

Guns don’t kill people, postal workers do.

Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.

I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.

Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.

If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Diplomacy is the art of saying “Nice doggie!”... till you can find a rock.

Sex on television can’t hurt you... unless you fall off.

We’re not in jail, and I’m not your bitch, so get off my ass!

**Thender** · 07-07-2006

Good ones!!!

**ob1** · 07-07-2006

Great job M! Luv 'em!

jpa · 07-07-2006

works for me

KUfan_Donnie · 07-07-2006

Many, many good ones in there...thanks MMM!

**Thender** · 07-07-2006

I just saw the van that had all those bumper stickers on it..........

jpa · 07-07-2006

my personal favorite is: IF you can read this thank a teacher, If you can read this in English, thank a soldier

**Thender** · 07-07-2006

I have always loved that bumper sticker too!!!!

07-07-2006	#1
MMM Enjoy In Moderation Join Date: May 2005 Location: blair Age: 35 Posts: 3,175 Throcks: 1,342.90 Thanks: 0 Thanked 138 Times in 36 Posts	Bumper Stickers Bumper Stickers Horn broken. Watch for finger. Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot. All generalizations are false. Cover me. I’m changing lanes. I brake for no apparent reason. Learn from your parents’ mistakes—use birth control. I’m not as think as you drunk I am. Forget about World Peace... Visualize using your turn signal. We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart? He who laughs last thinks slowest. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you. O’Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. I love cats... they taste just like chicken. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons. Born free... Taxed to death. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot. I get enough exercise just pushing my luck. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep. All men are idiots, and I married their King. Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician. Work is for people who don’t know how to fish. Montana—At least our cows are sane! I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. If you don’t like the news, go out and make some. When you do a good deed, get a receipt—in case heaven is like the IRS. Sorry, I don’t date outside my species. No radio—Already stolen. Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs. Real women don’t have hot flashes, they have power surges. I took an IQ test and the results were negative. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it. OK, who stopped payment on my reality check? Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW. Tell me to “stuff it”—I’m a taxidermist. IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got. Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students. It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better. According to my calculations, the problem doesn’t exist. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill. Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from? How can I miss you if you won’t go away? Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear. Give me ambiguity or give me something else. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot. Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. i souport publik edekashun. Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t. Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word? Ever stop to think and forget to start again? Jesus is coming, everyone look busy. My kid had sex with your honor student. If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished. Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply. Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you’re an asshole. I’m just driving this way to piss you off. Keep honking, I’m reloading. Hang up and drive. Lord save me from your followers. Guns don’t kill people, postal workers do. Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit. I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen. Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked. If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? Diplomacy is the art of saying “Nice doggie!”... till you can find a rock. Sex on television can’t hurt you... unless you fall off. We’re not in jail, and I’m not your bitch, so get off my ass! Last edited by MMM; 07-07-2006 at 06:20 AM.

07-07-2006	#2
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 21,417 Throcks: 4,425.90 Thanks: 5,213 Thanked 5,858 Times in 1,539 Posts	Re: Bumper Stickers Good ones!!! __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

07-07-2006	#3
ob1 Jedi SlaveBoy Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 6,918 Throcks: 1,556.47 Thanks: 1,356 Thanked 1,499 Times in 332 Posts	Re: Bumper Stickers Great job M! Luv 'em! __________________ This movie was shot in 3B - three beers - and it looks good, eh?

07-07-2006	#4
jpa Special Members Listens: Podcast Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 28 Posts: 7,038 Throcks: 905.11 Thanks: 156 Thanked 1,589 Times in 340 Posts	Re: Bumper Stickers works for me __________________ "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --Sam Brown

07-07-2006	#5
KUfan_Donnie Recovering Gambling Addict Listens: Podcast Join Date: May 2005 Age: 21 Posts: 3,945 Throcks: 358.90 Thanks: 124 Thanked 53 Times in 11 Posts	Re: Bumper Stickers Many, many good ones in there...thanks MMM! __________________ Beer is your friend

07-07-2006	#6
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 21,417 Throcks: 4,425.90 Thanks: 5,213 Thanked 5,858 Times in 1,539 Posts	Re: Bumper Stickers I just saw the van that had all those bumper stickers on it.......... __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

07-07-2006	#7
jpa Special Members Listens: Podcast Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 28 Posts: 7,038 Throcks: 905.11 Thanks: 156 Thanked 1,589 Times in 340 Posts	Re: Bumper Stickers my personal favorite is: IF you can read this thank a teacher, If you can read this in English, thank a soldier __________________ "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --Sam Brown

07-07-2006	#8
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 21,417 Throcks: 4,425.90 Thanks: 5,213 Thanked 5,858 Times in 1,539 Posts	Re: Bumper Stickers I have always loved that bumper sticker too!!!! __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

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