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Purina Diet in the Jokes / Music forum at Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums - I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind ...

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Old 07-31-2006   #1
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Purina Diet

I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.


A woman behind me asked if I had a dog (?).

On impulse, I told her NO, I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't because I end up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds. Before I awakened in an intestive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.



I told her that is essentially a perfect diet and that they way it works is to load your pants with Purina nuggest and simply eat one or two every time your hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete. So I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd be poisoned, I told her NO; I was sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me. I thought the guy was going to need help as he laughingly staggered to the door.
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Old 07-31-2006   #2
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Re: Purina Diet

Alright! Bill Engvall on steroids!
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Old 08-01-2006   #3
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Re: Purina Diet

Good One :)
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Old 08-01-2006   #4
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Re: Purina Diet

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