Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

jpa · 11-30-2006

after Wed. show i thought this joke would fit in nicely

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have
nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss
called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last
straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my
hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me
anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I
are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife

_______________________________________

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try
to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice
when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to
mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say
anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal,
you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped
eating pork seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee
because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence
that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and
your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt
that we could work it out.

So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I
quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home
you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have
the filling life you always wanted. My attorney said with this letter that
you wrote, you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my
brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell

**ob1** · 11-30-2006

**Thender** · 11-30-2006

**mike** · 11-30-2006

**Bud** · 11-30-2006

harmany · 11-30-2006

good one

msquared · 11-30-2006

Hubby-1,Ex-GOOSE EGG

**Thender** · 11-30-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by msquared

Hubby-1,Ex-GOOSE EGG

Ain't that the truth!!!

11-30-2006	#1
jpa Special Members Listens: Podcast Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 28 Posts: 7,849 Throcks: 2,511.52 Thanks: 1,240 Thanked 5,607 Times in 1,156 Posts	Dear Husband.... after Wed. show i thought this joke would fit in nicely Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone. P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Your EX-Wife _______________________________________ Dear Ex-Wife Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My attorney said with this letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care. P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem. Signed Rich As Hell __________________ "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --Sam Brown

11-30-2006	#2
ob1 Jedi SlaveBoy Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 7,205 Throcks: 2,747.08 Thanks: 1,356 Thanked 3,160 Times in 619 Posts	Re: Dear Husband.... __________________ Ban the lizards!

11-30-2006	#3
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 24,107 Throcks: 9,386.41 Thanks: 14,833 Thanked 17,109 Times in 4,229 Posts	Re: Dear Husband.... __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

11-30-2006	#4
mike BOOOOOOOOOOOOBIES!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 15,245 Throcks: 6,857.24 Thanks: 16,321 Thanked 9,639 Times in 2,231 Posts	Re: Dear Husband.... __________________ If I like you, leave a message. If I don't , don't bother. If I don't know you, why the hell you calling me ??

11-30-2006	#5
Bud Wanna Bet??? Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Plattsmeth Age: 38 Posts: 13,977 Throcks: 19,299.68 Thanks: 14,485 Thanked 15,361 Times in 3,568 Posts	Re: Dear Husband.... __________________ Time is Short Click Here, Free Naked Ladies 2007 TNTU.net Fantasy NASCAR Champion !!!

11-30-2006	#6
harmany TnTU College Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: papillion ne Posts: 679 Throcks: 417.06 Thanks: 0 Thanked 862 Times in 156 Posts	Re: Dear Husband.... good one __________________ BIG XII NORTH CHAMPIONS GO TIGERS!!!

11-30-2006	#7
msquared Frotch Central Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Lincoln, Ne Posts: 327 Throcks: 382.52 Thanks: 0 Thanked 4 Times in 1 Post	Re: Dear Husband.... Hubby-1,Ex-GOOSE EGG __________________ "I am in earnest; I will not equivocate; I will not excuse; I will not retreat a single inch; and I will be heard." William Lloyd Garrison

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