12-05-2006
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 #1 |
| Special Members    Listens: Podcast Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 28
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| Honest Santa Deer Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Friend, Billy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell. Santa ************************************************** *** Dear Santa, I've been a good girl all year & the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa ************************************************** ** Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas I'd like for my mommy & daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me send you some Legos instead. Santa ************************************************** ** Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, GI Joe, a dog, a drum kit, a pony & a tuba. Love Francis Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay. I'll set you up with Barbie. Santa ************************************************** ** Dear Santa, I left milk & cookies for you under the tree & carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits, carrots make the deer fart in my face. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch. Santa ************************************************** ** Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, The toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly & squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know! Santa ************************************************** ** Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa ************************************************** ** Dear Santa, I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one? Love, Timmy Dear Timmy, That whinny begging shit may work with your folks, but not with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa ************************************************** ** Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home? Love, Marky Dear Mark, 1st stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. 2nd, you don't live in a house, you live in a low rent apt. 3rd, I get in your pad like the boogieman, through your bedroom window. Sweet dreams, Santa
__________________ "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --Sam Brown |
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12-05-2006
| #2 |
| Recovering Gambling Addict  Listens: Podcast Join Date: May 2005 Age: 21
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| Re: Honest Santa Nice, jpa 
__________________ My liver must hate me  |
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12-05-2006
| #3 |
| Always riding the ragged edge of disaster.   Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38
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| Re: Honest Santa 
__________________  Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009  Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.  |
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12-05-2006
| #4 |
| Jedi SlaveBoy  Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38
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| Re: Honest Santa I love the holiday spirit! 
__________________ Ban the lizards!  |
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12-05-2006
| #5 |
| Wanna Bet???   Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Plattsmeth Age: 38
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| Re: Honest Santa Good ones but old. One kid asked for a Playstation 2. 
__________________  Time is Short Click Here, Free Naked Ladies 2007 TNTU.net Fantasy NASCAR Champion !!! |
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12-05-2006
| #6 |
| it makes good good sense  Listens: I don't listen Join Date: May 2005 Location: on the poor side of town Age: 45
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| Re: Honest Santa those are great!
__________________ "I took a look inside your bedroom door...You looked so good lying on your bed...Well, I asked you if you wanted any rhythm and love...You said you wanna rock 'n' roll instead" |
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