"If you let him in, let him finish." - Todd and Tyler

showers in the Jokes / Music forum at Todd and Tyler Unauthorized - SHOWERING > >>>> > >>>>How to Shower like a Woman - > >>>> > >>>>1. Take off clothing and place ...

Members Panel
Go Back   Todd and Tyler Unauthorized > Other Crap > Jokes / Music

Reply
Old 12-16-2006   1 links from elsewhere to this Post. Click to view. #1
MMMMMMM......BBQ
Dave thinks I'm special!  YAY!
Over 1000 posts!
 
josh's Avatar
 
Listens: Z92 - Mornings
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: THE UNIQUE CITY OF BELLEVUE
Age: 33
Posts: 3,081
Throcks: 95.91
Thanks: 7,890
Thanked 3,058 Times in 585 Posts
Send a message via AIM to josh
showers

SHOWERING
> >>>>
> >>>>How to Shower like a Woman -
> >>>>
> >>>>1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
> >according
> >>>>to
> >>>>lights and darks.
> >>>>
> >>>>2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If your see husband
> >>>>along
> >>>>the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> >>>>
> >>>>3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
> >do
> >>>>more
> >>>>sit-ups.
> >>>>
> >>>>4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
> >>>>loofah,
> >>>>wide loofah, and pumice stone.
> >>>>
> >>>>5. Wash your hair one with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
> >>>>vitamins.
> >>>>
> >>>>6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
> >>>>
> >>>>7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced
> with
> >>>>natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
> >>>>
> >>>>8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
> >>>>until
> >>>>red.
> >>>>
> >>>>9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and Java cake body wash.
> >>>>
> >>>>10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
> >>>>
> >>>>11. Shave armpits and legs.
> >>>>
> >>>>12. Turn off shower.
> >>>>
> >>>>13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
> >>>>Tilex.
> >>>>
> >>>>14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
> >>>>Wrap
> >>>>hair in a super absorbent towel.
> >>>>
> >>>>15. Check entire body for zits and then tweeze hairs.
> >>>>
> >>>>16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
> >If
> >>>>you
> >>>>see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>How To Shower Like a Man -
> >>>>
> >>>>1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
> >them
> >>>>in a
> >>>>pile.
> >>>>
> >>>>2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
> >>>>wiener
> >>>>at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
> >>>>
> >>>>3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of
> your
> >>>>wiener and scratch your ass.
> >>>>
> >>>>4. Get in the shower.
> >>>>
> >>>>5. Wash your face.
> >>>>
> >>>>6. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
> >>>>
> >>>>7. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they
> >>>>sound in
> >>>>the shower.
> >>>>
> >>>>8. Spend the majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
> >>>>
> >>>>9. Wash your butt, leaving butt hairs stuck on the soap.
> >>>>
> >>>>10. Shampoo your hair.
> >>>>
> >>>>11. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
> >>>>
> >>>>12. Pee.
> >>>>
> >>>>13. Rinse off and get out of shower.
> >>>>
> >>>>14. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because
> curtain
> >>>>was
> >>>>hanging out of tub the whole time.
> >>>>
> >>>>15. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
> >>>>
> >>>>16. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
> >>>>
> >>>>17. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass
> wife
> >>>>pull
> >>>>off towel, shake wiener at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
> >>>>
> >>>>18. Throw wet towel on bed.
> >>>>


__________________
THIS SPACE FOR RENT.
josh is offline! (Thanks KUfan_Donnie!)   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2006   #2
Yadda Yadda !!!! Who asked ya ?????
Dave thinks I'm special!  YAY!

Over 1000 posts!
 
mike's Avatar
 
Listens: Z92 - Omaha, NE Mornings (KEZO-FM)
Join Date: May 2005
Age: 38
Posts: 31,482
Throcks: 80,116.49
Thanks: 52,010
Thanked 65,004 Times in 18,373 Posts
Re: showers

and the problem is??
__________________

"Don't confuse hate with the truth !!!"
mike is offline! (Thanks KUfan_Donnie!)   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2006   #3
TnTU Guru
Dave thinks I'm special!  YAY!

Over 1000 posts!
 
Thender's Avatar
 
Listens: Z92 - Omaha, NE Mornings (KEZO-FM)
Join Date: May 2005
Age: 40
Posts: 34,133
Throcks: 43,444.71
Thanks: 50,202
Thanked 54,033 Times in 14,258 Posts
Re: showers

Woo - Woo
__________________



Thender is offline! (Thanks KUfan_Donnie!)   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2006   #4
TnTU Freshman
 
Listens: Z92 - Mornings
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Bellevue, Nebraska
Posts: 49
Throcks: 1,231.46
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Re: showers

Yep, that sounds about right.
__________________
I do what I can...& that ain't much!
dartman is offline! (Thanks KUfan_Donnie!)   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2006   #5
jpa
Special Members
TnTU Throck Bookie
Dave thinks I'm special!  YAY!
Over 1000 posts!
 
jpa's Avatar
 
Listens: Podcast
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Omaha
Age: 30
Posts: 10,449
Throcks: 15,784.48
Thanks: 3,487
Thanked 16,977 Times in 3,756 Posts
Re: showers

was this suppose to be a secret or something
__________________

"I dont have pet peeves, I have major pyschotic f-ing hatred."


George Carlin
jpa is offline! (Thanks KUfan_Donnie!)   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2006   #6
Bud
Wanna Bet???
Dave thinks I'm special!  YAY!

Over 1000 posts!
 
Bud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Plattsmeth
Age: 40
Posts: 17,003
Throcks: 1,930.26
Thanks: 29,752
Thanked 28,127 Times in 6,599 Posts
Re: showers

Joke rookies.

Copy, Start, Programs, Accesorites, Notepad, , Paste, Replace, Copy, Paste.

Wala.....

SHOWERING

How to Shower like a Woman -

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If your see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair one with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and Java cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs.

12. Turn off shower.

13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.

15. Check entire body for zits and then tweeze hairs.

16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man -

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face.

6. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

7. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.

8. Spend the majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

9. Wash your butt, leaving butt hairs stuck on the soap.

10. Shampoo your hair.

11. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

12. Pee.

13. Rinse off and get out of shower.

14. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

15. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

16. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

17. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.

18. Throw wet towel on bed.
__________________


Click Here, Free Naked Ladies




Last edited by Bud; 12-17-2006 at 06:40 AM.
Bud is offline! (Thanks KUfan_Donnie!)   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2006   #7
Yadda Yadda !!!! Who asked ya ?????
Dave thinks I'm special!  YAY!

Over 1000 posts!
 
mike's Avatar
 
Listens: Z92 - Omaha, NE Mornings (KEZO-FM)
Join Date: May 2005
Age: 38
Posts: 31,482
Throcks: 80,116.49
Thanks: 52,010
Thanked 65,004 Times in 18,373 Posts
Re: showers

[quote=Bud8Fan;91029]Joke rookies.

Copy, Start, Programs, Accesorites, Notepad, , Paste, Replace, Copy, Paste.

__________________

"Don't confuse hate with the truth !!!"
mike is offline! (Thanks KUfan_Donnie!)   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2006   #8
Bud
Wanna Bet???
Dave thinks I'm special!  YAY!

Over 1000 posts!
 
Bud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Plattsmeth
Age: 40
Posts: 17,003
Throcks: 1,930.26
Thanks: 29,752
Thanked 28,127 Times in 6,599 Posts
Re: showers

>>>>Just
>>>>Trying
>>>>To
>>>>Help

__________________


Click Here, Free Naked Ladies



Bud is offline! (Thanks KUfan_Donnie!)   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2006   #9
Yadda Yadda !!!! Who asked ya ?????
Dave thinks I'm special!  YAY!

Over 1000 posts!
 
mike's Avatar
 
Listens: Z92 - Omaha, NE Mornings (KEZO-FM)
Join Date: May 2005
Age: 38
Posts: 31,482
Throcks: 80,116.49
Thanks: 52,010
Thanked 65,004 Times in 18,373 Posts
Re: showers

aaahhhh!
__________________

"Don't confuse hate with the truth !!!"
mike is offline! (Thanks KUfan_Donnie!)   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2006   #10
TnTU Guru
Dave thinks I'm special!  YAY!

Over 1000 posts!
 
Thender's Avatar
 
Listens: Z92 - Omaha, NE Mornings (KEZO-FM)
Join Date: May 2005
Age: 40
Posts: 34,133
Throcks: 43,444.71
Thanks: 50,202
Thanked 54,033 Times in 14,258 Posts
Re: showers

Picky picky picky...............
__________________



Thender is offline! (Thanks KUfan_Donnie!)   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2006   #11
Bud
Wanna Bet???
Dave thinks I'm special!  YAY!

Over 1000 posts!
 
Bud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Plattsmeth
Age: 40
Posts: 17,003
Throcks: 1,930.26
Thanks: 29,752
Thanked 28,127 Times in 6,599 Posts
Re: showers

__________________


Click Here, Free Naked Ladies



Bud is offline! (Thanks KUfan_Donnie!)   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2006   #12
jpa
Special Members
TnTU Throck Bookie
Dave thinks I'm special!  YAY!
Over 1000 posts!
 
jpa's Avatar
 
Listens: Podcast
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Omaha
Age: 30
Posts: 10,449
Throcks: 15,784.48
Thanks: 3,487
Thanked 16,977 Times in 3,756 Posts
Re: showers

what if I dont want to use notepad
__________________

"I dont have pet peeves, I have major pyschotic f-ing hatred."


George Carlin
jpa is offline! (Thanks KUfan_Donnie!)   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2006   #13
Bud
Wanna Bet???
Dave thinks I'm special!  YAY!

Over 1000 posts!
 
Bud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Plattsmeth
Age: 40
Posts: 17,003
Throcks: 1,930.26
Thanks: 29,752
Thanked 28,127 Times in 6,599 Posts
Re: showers

Then you and only you can use Word.
__________________


Click Here, Free Naked Ladies



Bud is offline! (Thanks KUfan_Donnie!)   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2006   #14
TnTU Guru
Dave thinks I'm special!  YAY!

Over 1000 posts!
 
Thender's Avatar
 
Listens: Z92 - Omaha, NE Mornings (KEZO-FM)
Join Date: May 2005
Age: 40
Posts: 34,133
Throcks: 43,444.71
Thanks: 50,202
Thanked 54,033 Times in 14,258 Posts
Re: showers

Or he could of just edited his original post....
__________________



Thender is offline! (Thanks KUfan_Donnie!)   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


LinkBacks (?)
LinkBack to this Thread: http://tntu.net/jokes-music/6657-showers.html
Posted By For Type Date
Cafe in my Space This thread Refback 12-16-2006 05:50 PM

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:48 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. Rules & Privacy