12-25-2006
| #1 |
| MMMMMMM......BBQ    Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: THE UNIQUE CITY OF BELLEVUE Age: 31
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 | Last years chirstmas party memos FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 4 November 05 RE: Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private party room of the Grill House Restaurant. There will be a no-host bar with plenty of booze! We'll also have a small live band playing traditional carols (please feel free to sing along). A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Don't be surprised if the CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! Exchange of gifts among employees will also happen at that time, but no gift should be over $10.00 to make it easy on everyone's wallet. This gathering is for employees only! Be prepared! The CEO will make a special announcement at the Party. Merry Christmas to you and your family! Pauline -------------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 5 November 05 RE: Holiday Party I¹m so sorry! In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday and often coincides with Christmas, just not this year. Just the same, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same consideration applies to any of the other employees who are not Christians. So, there will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now? Happy Holidays to you and your family, Pauline. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 6 November 05 RE: Holiday Party Regarding the note I received ed from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name! I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore! How am I supposed to handle this? By the way, forget about the gift exchange! No gift exchange will be allowed since Union officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believes $10.00 is a little cheap. So, THE GIFT EXCHANGE IS CANCELLED!! Pauline. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 7 November 05 RE: Holiday Party What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a daytime luncheon this time of year does not accommodate the beliefs of our Muslim employees. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off serving your meal until it gets dark, or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other but lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men. Each group will have its own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table, too. And to the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed! In addition, we will have booster seats for short people, and low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. Since we cannot control the salt content of the food, we suggest those people with high blood pressure actually taste the food first. There will be fresh fruit available for diabetics since the restaurant cannot provide sugar-free desserts. Did I miss anything??? Pauline. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All F****** Employees DATE: 8 November 05 RE: The ******** Holiday Party. I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it. You'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, but you know tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Go ahead, drink, drive and die!!! Pauline, the Bitch from HELL -------------------------------------------------------------- FROM: John Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director DATE: 9 November 05 RE: Pauline Lewis and the Holiday Party I'm sure e I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, Management has decided to cancel the party. Happy Holidays, anyway!
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12-25-2006
| #2 |
| Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No   Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36
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| Re: Last years chirstmas party memos  Why can I see something like that actually happening.
__________________  "The moving sidewalk is coming to an end, please lift up your balls !!"- Todd |
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12-26-2006
| #3 |
| Special Members  Listens: Podcast Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 28
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| Re: Last years chirstmas party memos I thought it has  
__________________ "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --Sam Brown |
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12-28-2006
| #4 |
| Always riding the ragged edge of disaster.  Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38
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| Re: Last years chirstmas party memos Too true.... Too true.... 
__________________  Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009  Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.  |
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