01-02-2007
| #1 |
| FREE OB1!!!    Listens: I don't listen Join Date: May 2005 Location: on the poor side of town Age: 44
Posts: 3,485
Throcks: 949.67 Thanks: 7
Thanked 424 Times in 94 Posts
| Guaranteed Speeding Ticket While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?" To which she replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded. The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until 6 feet wide". "And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked. "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." |
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01-02-2007
| #2 |
| Jedi SlaveBoy   Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38
Posts: 6,380
Throcks: 1,477.79 Thanks: 1,356
Thanked 1,429 Times in 317 Posts
| Re: Guaranteed Speeding Ticket  ...nice one 'ox!
__________________ "Hey, great..."  |
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01-02-2007
| #3 |
| Wanna Bet???   Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Plattsmeth Age: 38
Posts: 11,287
Throcks: 11,677.83 Thanks: 4,273
Thanked 4,032 Times in 1,041 Posts
| Re: Guaranteed Speeding Ticket LOL ! Yup, guaranteed ticket. 
__________________  Time is Short Click Here, Free Naked Ladies 2007 TNTU.net Fantasy NASCAR Champion !!! |
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01-02-2007
| #4 |
| Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No  Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36
Posts: 13,468
Throcks: 4,888.36 Thanks: 5,351
Thanked 2,239 Times in 552 Posts
| Re: Guaranteed Speeding Ticket sounds like something your girlfriend would say 'ox!! 
__________________  "The moving sidewalk is coming to an end, please lift up your balls !!"- Todd |
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01-02-2007
| #5 |
| Always riding the ragged edge of disaster.  Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38
Posts: 20,505
Throcks: 4,032.66 Thanks: 4,747
Thanked 5,333 Times in 1,401 Posts
| Re: Guaranteed Speeding Ticket
__________________  Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009  Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.  |
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01-02-2007
| #6 |
| Special Members  Listens: Podcast Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 28
Posts: 6,441
Throcks: 828.91 Thanks: 31
Thanked 1,387 Times in 299 Posts
| Re: Guaranteed Speeding Ticket
__________________ "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --Sam Brown |
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01-06-2007
| #7 |
| TnTU Senior   Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Louisville, Nebraska Age: 22
Posts: 451
Throcks: 1,391.28 Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
   | Re: Guaranteed Speeding Ticket several months ago when I got pulled over I lost my chance for a possible warning for being a total wise ass. |
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