01-25-2007
| #1 |
| Sith Chef    Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Location: CBIA Age: 38
Posts: 5,813
| These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan --- What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ? The position of the dirt bag --- Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. --- What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Dough nuts --- Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any --- What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever --- What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. --- What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs --- What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes --- What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. --- Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. --- Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. --- What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you --- What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. --- Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls. --- What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. --- What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" --- Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. --- Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? Everyone has the same DNA. --- Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. --- Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo." --- Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. --- Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. --- Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong" --- What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment. --- What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring. --- What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe" --- How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! --- What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s....t" --- Why is there no Disneyland in China ? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides |
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01-25-2007
| #2 |
| Always riding the ragged edge of disaster.  Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38
Posts: 18,143
| Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email Good ones Ob1!  Although that last joke dated everything... There is a Disney Hong Kong.... 
__________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush. 4th place, 2008 TNTU.net college fantasy football... Bud came in 6th...  |
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01-25-2007
| #3 |
| Wanna Bet???  Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Plattsmeth Age: 38
Posts: 9,898
| Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email Those are good ones !!
__________________ Time is Short Click Here, Free Naked Ladies 2007 TNTU.net Fantasy NASCAR Champion !!! |
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01-25-2007
| #4 | ||
| Fear me, if you dare!  Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Back in Counciltucky! Age: 33
Posts: 2,123
 | Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email Again I gotta say, funny, but wrong.
__________________ God I need a nap. | ||
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01-25-2007
| #5 |
| MMMMMMM......BBQ  Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: THE UNIQUE CITY OF BELLEVUE Age: 31
Posts: 2,163
| Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email good ones ob1. why did the 16 year old mexican girl go get pregnant? her teacher told her to go do an essay. Carlos Mencia.
__________________ THIS SPACE FOR RENT. |
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01-25-2007
| #6 |
| Jr. and Jeff will be Team Mates in '08   Join Date: May 2005 Location: Papillion Age: 36
Posts: 949
| Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email well i think that covers everyone LOL
__________________ WOW HAIL HORDE If you Play and want a good group to run with email me James.hayes@offutt.af.mil this space for rent  |
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01-25-2007
| #7 |
| Special Members  Listens: Podcast Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 27
Posts: 6,034
| Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email 
__________________ "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --Sam Brown |
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01-25-2007
| #8 | |
| Sith Chef Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Location: CBIA Age: 38
Posts: 5,813
| Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email Quote:
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01-25-2007
| #9 |
| TnTU Senior  Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Gretna NE Age: 29
Posts: 289
 | Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email THose were good. had to copy and send...
__________________ Its pronounced DOYTCH! |
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01-25-2007
| #10 | |
| Roller wheels of dooooooooom...  Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Omaha
Posts: 484
| Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email Quote:
Tee hee, cotton balls! Please feel free to insert your own joke about Bunny noises here. 
__________________ I like to watch people trip.  ~~Lil Bunny F.U. | |
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01-25-2007
| #11 |
| 1-800-BETS-OFF  Listens: Podcast Join Date: May 2005 Age: 21
Posts: 3,480
| Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email Is that post office on a ship? Still, all very funny. Thanks for the read, ob1!
__________________ One weekend survived  |
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01-28-2007
| #12 |
| Yes.... I'm still a Redneck!  Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Seward, NE Age: 32
Posts: 1,065
| Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email
__________________ Getting Hitched to a Redneck!  |
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01-28-2007
| #13 |
| One Hot Momma !!!  Listens: Web Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 30
Posts: 669
 | Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email  |
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01-29-2007
| #14 |
| MMMMMMM......BBQ Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: THE UNIQUE CITY OF BELLEVUE Age: 31
Posts: 2,163
| Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email heard this one from one of my cooks yesterday..... why can't mexicans be firemen? they can't tell the difference between hose A and hose B.
__________________ THIS SPACE FOR RENT. |
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02-08-2007
| #15 |
| The stickiest of the ickiest  Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 26
Posts: 462
 | Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email Juan on Juan................I am still laughing about that one!!!!!
__________________ Morality is doing what is right no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told no matter what is right |
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02-09-2007
| #16 |
| TnTU Freshman  Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Omaha, NE Age: 29
Posts: 23
| Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email  |
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02-13-2007
| #17 |
| Special Members  Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Louisville, Nebraska Age: 21
Posts: 451
| Re: These will offend somebody...got 'em in an email That made my inner asshole giggle
__________________ You're something that never should have happened You even make your Grandma sick You'd poison a blind man's dog and steal his cane You'd gift wrap a leper And mail him to your Aunt Jane You'd even force-feed a diabetic a candy cane You can go to Hell  |
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