Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Bud · 01-29-2007

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove,
I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight.
I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such Perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!!

mike · 01-29-2007

josh · 01-29-2007

amen to that.

ob1 · 01-29-2007

Tru dat bro!

Thender · 01-29-2007

Amen brudder!

jpa · 01-29-2007

OmahaMomma · 01-29-2007

Amen !

I had to be in the cool crowd--but it is a good joke

Dave · 01-29-2007

That'd be a good joke if it was funny, but it's not.

NEXT!

Bud · 01-30-2007

Dave must be single.

harmany · 01-31-2007

ill have to remember that one the next time i get shitfaced

01-29-2007	#1
Bud Wanna Bet??? Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Plattsmeth Age: 38 Posts: 9,899	A good one. Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such Perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??" His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!" Broken Coffee Table $239.99 Hot Breakfast $4.20 Two Aspirins $.38 Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!! __________________ Time is Short Click Here, Free Naked Ladies 2007 TNTU.net Fantasy NASCAR Champion !!!

01-29-2007	#2
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 12,692	Re: A good one. __________________ "Black Tony isn't salty, he's creamy"- Travis Justice

01-29-2007	#3
josh MMMMMMM......BBQ Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: THE UNIQUE CITY OF BELLEVUE Age: 31 Posts: 2,163	Re: A good one. amen to that. __________________ THIS SPACE FOR RENT.

01-29-2007	#4
ob1 Sith Chef Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Location: CBIA Age: 38 Posts: 5,813	Re: A good one. Tru dat bro!

01-29-2007	#5
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 18,144	Re: A good one. Amen brudder! __________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush. 4th place, 2008 TNTU.net college fantasy football... Bud came in 6th...

01-29-2007	#6
jpa Special Members Listens: Podcast Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 27 Posts: 6,034	Re: A good one. __________________ "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --Sam Brown

01-29-2007	#7
OmahaMomma One Hot Momma !!! Listens: Web Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 30 Posts: 669	Re: A good one. Amen ! I had to be in the cool crowd--but it is a good joke

01-29-2007	#8
Dave Straight Pimpin Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jun 2004 Age: 38 Posts: 4,992	Re: A good one. That'd be a good joke if it was funny, but it's not. NEXT! __________________ "Perverting the court of justice" -------------------------------------------- Todd and Tyler Streaming Questions, comments, concerns? Contact the Empire

01-30-2007	#9
Bud Wanna Bet??? Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Plattsmeth Age: 38 Posts: 9,899	Re: A good one. Dave must be single. __________________ Time is Short Click Here, Free Naked Ladies 2007 TNTU.net Fantasy NASCAR Champion !!!

01-31-2007	#10
harmany TnTU College Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: papillion ne Age: 25 Posts: 505	Re: A good one. ill have to remember that one the next time i get shitfaced __________________ BIG XII NORTH CHAMPIONS GO TIGERS!!!

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