Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

KUfan_Donnie · 10-25-2007

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Council Bluffs who has recently been diagnosed as a
carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Des Moines and one
of my sisters, who lives in Ames, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are
prostitutes in Iowa City.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in
Bettendorf for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is
currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his
three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in
Davenport. She is still a part time "working girl".

All things considered, my problem is this: I love my fiancé and look
forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally
open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Cornhusker fan?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

Bud · 10-25-2007

Flounder · 10-25-2007

oh my god that is an awesome joke.

Thender · 10-25-2007

LenDog · 10-26-2007

Very good.

RyanB. · 10-26-2007

I don't get it. Who's Abby?

Savage Play · 10-26-2007

now that is a freaking funny joke

2ox · 10-26-2007

and apparently Huskers fans only read the sports section......

jpa · 10-27-2007

Bud · 10-30-2007

A woman walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?"

The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil."

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married for the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?"

"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness,"I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.

You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our hotel.

My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again."

"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.

"That one was a Nebraska Football Coach," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened."

Savage Play · 10-30-2007

that's a good one bud. why didn't you post your own thread?

ob1 · 10-30-2007

Bud · 10-30-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by Savage Play

that's a good one bud. why didn't you post your own thread?

Thought you could get your Husker laughs in one thread.

Thender · 10-30-2007

KUfan_Donnie · 10-30-2007

Nice one, Bud

10-25-2007	#1
KUfan_Donnie 1-800-BETS-OFF Listens: Podcast Join Date: May 2005 Age: 21 Posts: 3,480	Dear Abby... Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Council Bluffs who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Des Moines and one of my sisters, who lives in Ames, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Iowa City. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Bettendorf for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Davenport. She is still a part time "working girl". All things considered, my problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Cornhusker fan? Signed, Worried About My Reputation __________________ One weekend survived

10-25-2007	#2
Bud Wanna Bet??? Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Plattsmeth Age: 38 Posts: 9,902	Re: Dear Abby... __________________ Time is Short Click Here, Free Naked Ladies 2007 TNTU.net Fantasy NASCAR Champion !!!

10-25-2007	#3
Flounder I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 3,094	Re: Dear Abby... oh my god that is an awesome joke.

10-25-2007	#4
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 18,144	Re: Dear Abby... __________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush. 4th place, 2008 TNTU.net college fantasy football... Bud came in 6th...

10-26-2007	#5
LenDog tntvideos.net Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Omaha Age: 38 Posts: 350	Re: Dear Abby... Very good.

10-26-2007	#6
RyanB. even when you know you never know Listens: T95 - Wichita Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Kansas Age: 37 Posts: 1,159	Re: Dear Abby... I don't get it. Who's Abby? __________________ If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? - Vince Lombardi

10-26-2007	#7
Savage Play TnTU College Listens: T95 - Wichita Join Date: Jun 2007 Age: 32 Posts: 722	Re: Dear Abby... now that is a freaking funny joke __________________ I slipped on a crab. Who put that crab there? I don't see any crab. Don't tell me. There were two crabs they work in pairs. - Hot Shots!

10-26-2007	#8
2ox proud beta test subject Listens: I don't listen Join Date: May 2005 Location: on the poor side of town Age: 44 Posts: 3,311	Re: Dear Abby... and apparently Huskers fans only read the sports section...... __________________ "Sheep go to heaven, goats go to Daves"

10-27-2007	#9
jpa Special Members Listens: Podcast Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 27 Posts: 6,034	Re: Dear Abby... __________________ "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --Sam Brown

10-30-2007	#10
Bud Wanna Bet??? Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Plattsmeth Age: 38 Posts: 9,902	Re: Dear Abby... A woman walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding. "Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?" The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil." The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married for the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?" "Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness,"I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride. You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again." "What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk. "That one was a Nebraska Football Coach," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened." __________________ Time is Short Click Here, Free Naked Ladies 2007 TNTU.net Fantasy NASCAR Champion !!!

10-30-2007	#11
Savage Play TnTU College Listens: T95 - Wichita Join Date: Jun 2007 Age: 32 Posts: 722	Re: Dear Abby... that's a good one bud. why didn't you post your own thread? __________________ I slipped on a crab. Who put that crab there? I don't see any crab. Don't tell me. There were two crabs they work in pairs. - Hot Shots!

10-30-2007	#12
ob1 Sith Chef Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Location: CBIA Age: 38 Posts: 5,813	Re: Dear Abby...

10-30-2007	#15
KUfan_Donnie 1-800-BETS-OFF Listens: Podcast Join Date: May 2005 Age: 21 Posts: 3,480	Re: Dear Abby... Nice one, Bud __________________ One weekend survived

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