Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

MMM · 02-28-2008

The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
because they are plugged into a genius
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
they don't have enough time
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
they don't stop to ask directions
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
you need a rough draft before you make a final copy
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
don't know.....it never happened
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
because a vibrator can't mow the lawn

____________________
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back,'BUDWEISER.'

And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
-----------------------------------------------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
----------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
-----------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.

Thender · 02-28-2008

Oh.... Ha ha ha ....

No, seriously.....

Ha....

RyanB. · 02-28-2008

wow your a bitter woman! Let me guess, that's not your ass in your avatar!

Thender · 02-28-2008

Ooooooo... Bad move, Ryan....

harmany · 02-29-2008

har de har har

MMM · 02-29-2008

Ryan - so posting a joke that a male friend sent to me makes me bitter?? Wow..
Just curious what in the hell does what my ass look like have to do with anything about this post. (obviously you have never been to a TnTU get together - not trying to sound cocky - but I really don't care what you think about my ass!)
So do I have the right to question how small your package is since you seem threaten by a woman who posted a joke in the joke thread and even labeled it for the women? No I am not that mean.
I couldn't count the number of blonde jokes (oh either could a male) or jokes made about women on this site - they are jokes so it doesn't bother me - I don't feel the need to be rude or attack someone everytime they post a joke about women.
Lighten up!!!

mike · 02-29-2008

Ryan, you asked for it !!

ob1 · 02-29-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thender

Ooooooo... Bad move, Ryan....

^^...he told ya

Thender · 02-29-2008

I hate to say it....

Bud · 02-29-2008

Quote:

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back,'BUDWEISER.'

2ox · 02-29-2008

a little background on MMM for you Ryan.....

she is an Asstrophysicist with the University of Massachusetts

she's won best Actrass in a lead role and has several Asscers on her mantle

she's managed the Waldorf Asstoria Hotel

she assists with several local charitable organizations

Denny's Restaurant named the breakfasst entre' "Moon Over My Hammy" after her

and yes that is not her ass in her Avatar.....but its the only one I could find that came close.........

mike · 02-29-2008

You say it like you know her. 'ox !!

Thender · 02-29-2008

harmany · 03-01-2008

what a kiss ass

shutterbug · 03-01-2008

been a while since I hae seen MMM tear somebody to shreds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! go MMM

dracula · 03-01-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by RyanB.

wow your a bitter woman! Let me guess, that's not your ass in your avatar!

Ahem.....MMM....allow me.....

jpa · 03-02-2008

02-28-2008	#1
MMM Enjoy In Moderation Join Date: May 2005 Location: blair Age: 35 Posts: 3,050	For the women.. The Why's of Men 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? because they are plugged into a genius 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? they don't have enough time 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? they don't stop to ask directions 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? you need a rough draft before you make a final copy 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? don't know.....it never happened ( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!) 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? because a vibrator can't mow the lawn ____________________ One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine? 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back,'BUDWEISER.' And they say blondes are dumb... ----------------------------------------- A couple is lying in bed. The man says,'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.' The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...' ----------------------------------------------------------- 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied. ---------------------------------------- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor ----------------------------------------------------------- Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. ----------------------------------------- Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. ----------------------------------------------------------- Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual. Last edited by MMM; 02-29-2008 at 07:40 AM.

02-28-2008	#2
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 18,143	Re: For the women.. Oh.... Ha ha ha .... No, seriously..... Ha.... __________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush. 4th place, 2008 TNTU.net college fantasy football... Bud came in 6th...

02-28-2008	#3
RyanB. even when you know you never know Listens: T95 - Wichita Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Kansas Age: 37 Posts: 1,159	Re: For the women.. wow your a bitter woman! Let me guess, that's not your ass in your avatar! __________________ If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? - Vince Lombardi

02-28-2008	#4
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 18,143	Re: For the women.. Ooooooo... Bad move, Ryan.... __________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush. 4th place, 2008 TNTU.net college fantasy football... Bud came in 6th...

02-29-2008	#5
harmany TnTU College Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: papillion ne Age: 25 Posts: 505	Re: For the women.. har de har har __________________ BIG XII NORTH CHAMPIONS GO TIGERS!!!

02-29-2008	#6
MMM Enjoy In Moderation Join Date: May 2005 Location: blair Age: 35 Posts: 3,050	Re: For the women.. Ryan - so posting a joke that a male friend sent to me makes me bitter?? Wow.. Just curious what in the hell does what my ass look like have to do with anything about this post. (obviously you have never been to a TnTU get together - not trying to sound cocky - but I really don't care what you think about my ass!) So do I have the right to question how small your package is since you seem threaten by a woman who posted a joke in the joke thread and even labeled it for the women? No I am not that mean. I couldn't count the number of blonde jokes (oh either could a male) or jokes made about women on this site - they are jokes so it doesn't bother me - I don't feel the need to be rude or attack someone everytime they post a joke about women. Lighten up!!!

02-29-2008	#7
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 12,690	Re: For the women.. Ryan, you asked for it !! __________________ "Black Tony isn't salty, he's creamy"- Travis Justice

02-29-2008	#9
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 18,143	Re: For the women.. I hate to say it.... __________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush. 4th place, 2008 TNTU.net college fantasy football... Bud came in 6th...

02-29-2008	#11
2ox proud beta test subject Listens: I don't listen Join Date: May 2005 Location: on the poor side of town Age: 44 Posts: 3,311	Re: For the women.. a little background on MMM for you Ryan..... she is an Asstrophysicist with the University of Massachusetts she's won best Actrass in a lead role and has several Asscers on her mantle she's managed the Waldorf Asstoria Hotel she assists with several local charitable organizations Denny's Restaurant named the breakfasst entre' "Moon Over My Hammy" after her and yes that is not her ass in her Avatar.....but its the only one I could find that came close.........

02-29-2008	#12
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 12,690	Re: For the women.. You say it like you know her. 'ox !! __________________ "Black Tony isn't salty, he's creamy"- Travis Justice

02-29-2008	#13
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 18,143	Re: For the women.. __________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush. 4th place, 2008 TNTU.net college fantasy football... Bud came in 6th...

03-01-2008	#14
harmany TnTU College Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: papillion ne Age: 25 Posts: 505	Re: For the women.. what a kiss ass __________________ BIG XII NORTH CHAMPIONS GO TIGERS!!!

03-01-2008	#15
shutterbug Off The Deep End Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Middle of Nowhere Age: 32 Posts: 1,123	Re: For the women.. been a while since I hae seen MMM tear somebody to shreds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! go MMM __________________ I've never heard you talk like that... Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.

03-02-2008	#17
jpa Special Members Listens: Podcast Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 27 Posts: 6,034	Re: For the women.. __________________ "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --Sam Brown

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