Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

MMM · 08-21-2008

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a largemetal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair.Kill her!!' The man said, ‘You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, ‘Then you’re not the right man for this job.
Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes.
Take your wife home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'

MORAL:
Women are crazy. Don't mess with them.

**mike** · 08-21-2008

jackson · 08-21-2008

And we still marry them for some reason, go figure

**mike** · 08-21-2008

need someone to get my beer for me !!

jpa · 08-22-2008

seen it

MMM · 08-22-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackson

And we still marry them for some reason, go figure

guarantee that 2 or 3 times a year you will have sex. Your birthday, anniversary, and valentines day.

MMM · 08-22-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by mike

need someone to get my beer for me !!

And you wonder why you are still single??

**mike** · 08-22-2008

I just have alot of women to get me my beer !!

**Thender** · 08-22-2008

**Bud** · 08-22-2008

Pass the popcorn.

**Thender** · 08-22-2008

Here ya go...

**Bud** · 08-22-2008

Thanks

**Thender** · 08-22-2008

You're welcome!

KUfan_Donnie · 08-27-2008

Hilarious

MMM

She represents that second X chromosome, and all the craziness it implies

**ob1** · 08-27-2008

Women are sensuous....

....Sensuous up get me a beer!

**Thender** · 08-27-2008

**dracula** · 08-27-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by mike

lilyvon schtupp · 08-29-2008

well, the instructions did say to "kill him" not to shoot him

lilyvon schtupp · 08-29-2008

so? did she get the job?

LenDog · 09-01-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM

guarantee that 2 or 3 times a year you will have sex. Your birthday, anniversary, and valentines day.

Those three date don't guarantee anything. Trust me I know first hand.

Dave · 09-03-2008

Quote:

guarantee that 2 or 3 times a year you will have sex. Your birthday, anniversary, and valentines day.

That's a lie, I'm usually blasted on all three, and I don't just put out for anybody.

**mike** · 09-03-2008

Dave just puts out for pugs !!!!

2ox · 09-13-2008

figures the only time a woman follows direction is when she's applying for a job

jpa · 09-14-2008

08-21-2008	#1
MMM Enjoy In Moderation Join Date: May 2005 Location: blair Age: 36 Posts: 3,186 Throcks: 2,184.39 Thanks: 0 Thanked 202 Times in 47 Posts	Fbi job opening The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a largemetal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair.Kill her!!' The man said, ‘You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, ‘Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home.' Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.' MORAL: Women are crazy. Don't mess with them. __________________

08-21-2008	#2
mike BOOOOOOOOOOOOBIES!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 15,103 Throcks: 7,337.69 Thanks: 15,191 Thanked 9,032 Times in 2,089 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening __________________ If I like you, leave a message. If I don't , don't bother. If I don't know you, why the hell you calling me ??

08-21-2008	#3
jackson jackson Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Aug 2006 Age: 49 Posts: 1,198 Throcks: 5,802.95 Thanks: 15,840 Thanked 4,051 Times in 1,018 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening And we still marry them for some reason, go figure

08-21-2008	#4
mike BOOOOOOOOOOOOBIES!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 15,103 Throcks: 7,337.69 Thanks: 15,191 Thanked 9,032 Times in 2,089 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening need someone to get my beer for me !! __________________ If I like you, leave a message. If I don't , don't bother. If I don't know you, why the hell you calling me ??

08-22-2008	#5
jpa Special Members Listens: Podcast Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 28 Posts: 7,753 Throcks: 2,212.43 Thanks: 1,207 Thanked 5,121 Times in 1,055 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening seen it __________________ "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --Sam Brown

08-22-2008	#8
mike BOOOOOOOOOOOOBIES!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 15,103 Throcks: 7,337.69 Thanks: 15,191 Thanked 9,032 Times in 2,089 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening I just have alot of women to get me my beer !! __________________ If I like you, leave a message. If I don't , don't bother. If I don't know you, why the hell you calling me ??

08-22-2008	#9
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 23,855 Throcks: 9,001.76 Thanks: 13,825 Thanked 16,098 Times in 3,977 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

08-22-2008	#10
Bud Wanna Bet??? Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Plattsmeth Age: 38 Posts: 13,681 Throcks: 18,704.44 Thanks: 13,484 Thanked 14,160 Times in 3,275 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening Pass the popcorn. __________________ Time is Short Click Here, Free Naked Ladies 2007 TNTU.net Fantasy NASCAR Champion !!!

08-22-2008	#11
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 23,855 Throcks: 9,001.76 Thanks: 13,825 Thanked 16,098 Times in 3,977 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening Here ya go... __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

08-22-2008	#12
Bud Wanna Bet??? Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Plattsmeth Age: 38 Posts: 13,681 Throcks: 18,704.44 Thanks: 13,484 Thanked 14,160 Times in 3,275 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening Thanks __________________ Time is Short Click Here, Free Naked Ladies 2007 TNTU.net Fantasy NASCAR Champion !!!

08-22-2008	#13
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 23,855 Throcks: 9,001.76 Thanks: 13,825 Thanked 16,098 Times in 3,977 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening You're welcome! __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

08-27-2008	#14
KUfan_Donnie Recovering Gambling Addict Listens: Podcast Join Date: May 2005 Age: 21 Posts: 4,063 Throcks: 1,153.83 Thanks: 3,150 Thanked 632 Times in 129 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening Hilarious MMM She represents that second X chromosome, and all the craziness it implies __________________ My liver must hate me

08-27-2008	#15
ob1 Solid....Solid As Barack! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 7,170 Throcks: 2,577.65 Thanks: 1,356 Thanked 2,969 Times in 584 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening Women are sensuous.... ....Sensuous up get me a beer! __________________ Ban the lizards!

08-29-2008	#18
lilyvon schtupp i ride the short bus because i'm Listens: I don't listen Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: counciltucky Posts: 1,703 Throcks: 2,595.12 Thanks: 72 Thanked 1,854 Times in 350 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening well, the instructions did say to "kill him" not to shoot him __________________ "We will NOT allow you to blaspheme The Monkees on this show!"- Todd

08-29-2008	#19
lilyvon schtupp i ride the short bus because i'm Listens: I don't listen Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: counciltucky Posts: 1,703 Throcks: 2,595.12 Thanks: 72 Thanked 1,854 Times in 350 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening so? did she get the job? __________________ "We will NOT allow you to blaspheme The Monkees on this show!"- Todd

09-03-2008	#22
mike BOOOOOOOOOOOOBIES!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 15,103 Throcks: 7,337.69 Thanks: 15,191 Thanked 9,032 Times in 2,089 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening Dave just puts out for pugs !!!! __________________ If I like you, leave a message. If I don't , don't bother. If I don't know you, why the hell you calling me ??

09-13-2008	#23
2ox it makes good good sense Listens: I don't listen Join Date: May 2005 Location: on the poor side of town Age: 45 Posts: 3,645 Throcks: 1,263.93 Thanks: 11 Thanked 611 Times in 128 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening figures the only time a woman follows direction is when she's applying for a job

09-14-2008	#24
jpa Special Members Listens: Podcast Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 28 Posts: 7,753 Throcks: 2,212.43 Thanks: 1,207 Thanked 5,121 Times in 1,055 Posts	Re: Fbi job opening __________________ "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --Sam Brown