Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

teachergirl · 04-21-2006

"I'M GOING FISHING"
Translated: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by the water with a stick in my hand while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you, as a woman, have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'Gilligan's Island', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the year/make and model of every vehicle I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was hot."

"OH, DON'T FUSS - IT'S JUST A CUT, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before admitting that it hurts or that I did it to myself."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "I looked in one likely spot and it didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless where it is. I need you to use your intra-uterine radar and find it for me."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 hours yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." ...also... "But I could enjoy having sex with almost anyone between the ages of 18 and 50."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "For crying out loud, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving and have to pea."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "It's possible that no one will ever see us alive again."

Lynniebits · 04-21-2006

That was nice, a generalization, all generalizations being false including that one, but very nice.

josh · 04-21-2006

that girl selling roses was hot.

Lynniebits · 04-21-2006

Course she was, and now she thinks you are nice cuz you bought them for your "mother".

KUfan_Donnie · 04-21-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by teachergirl

"I CAN'T FIND IT."

Oh, c'mon jugHEAD, she lobbed a softball here!

Jump on this grenade for me--I'm off to bed

Two2mnyxs · 04-21-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lynniebits

Course she was, and now she thinks you are nice cuz you bought them for your "mother".

thats great i will remember that one

Lynniebits · 04-21-2006

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Isn't that what most men say about the "G" spot?

jugHEAD · 04-21-2006

Thanks for the HEADS up Donnie, but I ws just figuring our the way to word this!!!!
Ahhh... here we go!!
I found it on teacher girl!!!! And I didnt look in one spot, I found the SPOT!!!
Wich spot.......A-B-C-D-E-F.....nope the G spot!!! And shes been limping around school with a smile on her face ever since that passing period!!!!

shutterbug · 04-21-2006

ahhhh the "G" spot, I like finding that spot, and it seems the girl likes me finding that spot, all very interesting

teachergirl · 04-21-2006

What's the G Spot?

Lynniebits · 04-21-2006

Nicely done Jughead...now can you find mine!

Quote:

Originally Posted by jugHEAD

Thanks for the HEADS up Donnie, but I ws just figuring our the way to word this!!!!
Ahhh... here we go!!
I found it on teacher girl!!!! And I didnt look in one spot, I found the SPOT!!!
Wich spot.......A-B-C-D-E-F.....nope the G spot!!! And shes been limping around school with a smile on her face ever since that passing period!!!!

jugHEAD · 04-21-2006

meet me at lynnies. Bring a spatula, 3 lbs of tapioca pudding, and plenty of d batteries. I can show you AGAIN!!!!
See donnie if you hit the Gspot the right way
if affects memory!

Lynniebits · 04-21-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by jugHEAD

meet me at lynnies. Bring a spatula, 3 lbs of tapioca pudding, and plenty of d batteries. I can show you AGAIN!!!!
See donnie if you hit the Gspot the right way
if affects memory!

What was your name again?

teachergirl · 04-21-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lynniebits

What was your name again?

That's what I usually say! (right after, "where in the hell am I?")

jugHEAD · 04-21-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by teachergirl

That's what I usually say! (right after, "where in the hell am I?")

Then I usually say, heres a wet wipe!! you got a little something on your chin!!!! I will be down here if you need me just tap me onmy head!!!

teachergirl · 04-21-2006

By the way Jug...they are pumpkins

Lynniebits · 04-21-2006

No they aren't that hard...more like water balloons.

jugHEAD · 04-21-2006

pumpkin pie!!! water balloons!!!!
I gotta go to the bathroom!
---Grabs lotion, paper towels, and a mason jar and runs out the door!---

teachergirl · 04-21-2006

A mason jar? Poor thing over in east Omaha...do your toilets not work again?

josh · 04-21-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lynniebits

Course she was, and now she thinks you are nice cuz you bought them for your "mother".

you do know everthing.

shutterbug · 04-21-2006

I am at a loss for words, thoughts, about anything right now

jugHEAD · 04-21-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by jugHEAD

pumpkin pie!!! water balloons!!!!
I gotta go to the bathroom!
---Grabs lotion, paper towels, and a mason jar and runs out the door!---

Actually I thought I would send a sample to you via school mail!!! Hope it doesnt leak in those brown envelopes!!!

Lynniebits · 04-21-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by jugHEAD

Actually I thought I would send a sample to you via school mail!!! Hope it doesnt leak in those brown envelopes!!!

Ewww.

Thender · 04-21-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by jugHEAD

Actually I thought I would send a sample to you via school mail!!! Hope it doesnt leak in those brown envelopes!!!

I find that a zip-lock baggie works.

04-21-2006	#1
teachergirl If you give me enough throcks, I'll play with your Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha - the good side Age: 30 Posts: 1,638	For the girls... "I'M GOING FISHING" Translated: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by the water with a stick in my hand while the fish swim by in complete safety." "IT'S A GUY THING" Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you, as a woman, have no chance at all of making it logical". "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?" "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR" Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I have no idea how it works." "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." Translated: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra." "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD." Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Translated: "Are you still talking?" "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'Gilligan's Island', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the year/make and model of every vehicle I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES." Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was hot." "OH, DON'T FUSS - IT'S JUST A CUT, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before admitting that it hurts or that I did it to myself." "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING." Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon." "I CAN'T FIND IT." Translated: "I looked in one likely spot and it didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless where it is. I need you to use your intra-uterine radar and find it for me." "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Translated: "What did you catch me at?" "I HEARD YOU." Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 hours yelling at me." "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." ...also... "But I could enjoy having sex with almost anyone between the ages of 18 and 50." "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Translated: "For crying out loud, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving and have to pea." "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Translated: "It's possible that no one will ever see us alive again." __________________ Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out? Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night. Last edited by teachergirl; 04-21-2006 at 10:57 AM.

04-21-2006	#2
Lynniebits Fear me, if you dare! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Back in Counciltucky! Age: 33 Posts: 2,123	Re: For the girls... That was nice, a generalization, all generalizations being false including that one, but very nice. __________________ God I need a nap.

04-21-2006	#3
josh MMMMMMM......BBQ Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: THE UNIQUE CITY OF BELLEVUE Age: 31 Posts: 2,163	Re: For the girls... that girl selling roses was hot. __________________ THIS SPACE FOR RENT.

04-21-2006	#4
Lynniebits Fear me, if you dare! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Back in Counciltucky! Age: 33 Posts: 2,123	Re: For the girls... Course she was, and now she thinks you are nice cuz you bought them for your "mother". __________________ God I need a nap.

04-21-2006	#7
Lynniebits Fear me, if you dare! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Back in Counciltucky! Age: 33 Posts: 2,123	Re: For the girls... "I CAN'T FIND IT." Isn't that what most men say about the "G" spot? __________________ God I need a nap.

04-21-2006	#8
jugHEAD Tonight we are doin' it wookiestyle baby! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Omaha Age: 33 Posts: 316	Re: For the girls... Thanks for the HEADS up Donnie, but I ws just figuring our the way to word this!!!! Ahhh... here we go!! I found it on teacher girl!!!! And I didnt look in one spot, I found the SPOT!!! Wich spot.......A-B-C-D-E-F.....nope the G spot!!! And shes been limping around school with a smile on her face ever since that passing period!!!! __________________ AHHHH the force is long with this one!!!!

04-21-2006	#9
shutterbug Off The Deep End Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Middle of Nowhere Age: 32 Posts: 1,123	Re: For the girls... ahhhh the "G" spot, I like finding that spot, and it seems the girl likes me finding that spot, all very interesting __________________ I've never heard you talk like that... Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.

04-21-2006	#10
teachergirl If you give me enough throcks, I'll play with your Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha - the good side Age: 30 Posts: 1,638	Re: For the girls... What's the G Spot? __________________ Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out? Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

04-21-2006	#12
jugHEAD Tonight we are doin' it wookiestyle baby! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Omaha Age: 33 Posts: 316	Re: For the girls... meet me at lynnies. Bring a spatula, 3 lbs of tapioca pudding, and plenty of d batteries. I can show you AGAIN!!!! See donnie if you hit the Gspot the right way if affects memory! __________________ AHHHH the force is long with this one!!!!

04-21-2006	#16
teachergirl If you give me enough throcks, I'll play with your Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha - the good side Age: 30 Posts: 1,638	Re: For the girls... By the way Jug...they are pumpkins __________________ Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out? Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

04-21-2006	#17
Lynniebits Fear me, if you dare! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Back in Counciltucky! Age: 33 Posts: 2,123	Re: For the girls... No they aren't that hard...more like water balloons. __________________ God I need a nap.

04-21-2006	#18
jugHEAD Tonight we are doin' it wookiestyle baby! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Omaha Age: 33 Posts: 316	Re: For the girls... pumpkin pie!!! water balloons!!!! I gotta go to the bathroom! ---Grabs lotion, paper towels, and a mason jar and runs out the door!--- __________________ AHHHH the force is long with this one!!!!

04-21-2006	#19
teachergirl If you give me enough throcks, I'll play with your Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha - the good side Age: 30 Posts: 1,638	Re: For the girls... A mason jar? Poor thing over in east Omaha...do your toilets not work again? __________________ Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out? Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

04-21-2006	#21
shutterbug Off The Deep End Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Middle of Nowhere Age: 32 Posts: 1,123	Re: For the girls... I am at a loss for words, thoughts, about anything right now __________________ I've never heard you talk like that... Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.

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