Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

gogrlgo

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"If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow."

Lynniebits

Ode to the End of the School Year. 5/3/2006 My nephew Charlie's 5th birthday!

It is that wonderful time of year,
the end of school is so near.
It is time to clean up the room,
so get out your broom,
and make sure your finals are clear.

The students are in rare form,
their looks are all forlorn,
but we keep plugging away
for that final day,
when their notebooks all will be torn.

All their big assignments are due,
they are wishing they were all through.
What they don't know,
is into the bonfire they'll go,
cuz grading them I just won't do!

Now you may think that is cruel,
but it is my golden rule,
to grade nothing at all,
cuz their grades will fall,
and then they will cry and drool.

Summer is a time for fun,
my errands I have time to run,
I am not stuck here at school,
where kids act a fool,
and make me want to give them my gun. ("bullets first!")

(A note after the poem, I don't own a gun and would never use one on my students, but it rhymed, and I got to use the bullets first bit from Tyler which I love!)

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God I need a nap.

teachergirl

Not bad Lynnie!

Eighteen more days!

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Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

Lynniebits

An Ode to A Bad Day: 05/04/2006

Woke up this morning in a bad mood.
My shoe by my dog had been chewed.
I was grumpy and bitchy,
my contacts were itchy,
basically I felt the day was screwed.

My daughter didn't want to get dressed,
I was driving to work all stressed.
I got cut off in traffic,
in all this havoc
I forgot, my class keys, I left.

The day didn't get any better,
Paid bills and answered a letter,
got yelled at in a post
Lynniebits in the roast
So a polite PM I sent her.

I am so ready to go home,
from my house I plan not to roam.
Put the kid to bed,
put a beer on my head.
God I am so ready for the foam!

Have a good day guys...what is left of it.

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God I need a nap.

Thender

Awesome!

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Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

Lynniebits

Ode to May 5th: 5/5/06

Today is Cinco de Mayo,
So let the parade balloons flyo,
We'll all celebrate,
and stay out to late,
and be paying for it tomorrow.

Tequila, margaritas and burritos,
Are all good imports from Mexicos,
It seems that the wetbacks,
they all want to send back,
to citizenship they've said no!

You Lick it, you slam it, you suck it,
then on the way down you will feel it,
Do three or four,
and then hit the floor,
but make sure you don't end up naked.

In Mexico this day is not celebrated,
In L.A. and Omaha it is not hated,
With a colorful parade,
In South Omaha they stayed,
I don't think that Steinberg attended.

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God I need a nap.

josh

enough said. nice poem.

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THIS SPACE FOR RENT.

Thender

^I like that part to.....

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Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

TNT_Tony

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"And don't even think about trying to steal it. 'cause we're gonna frisk you......Everywhere."

ob1

Nice work, LB!

Lynniebits

I have been kinda off this week, heck I am kinda off every week, but I wanted to post this for all the moms. I have one, I am ont, and every word of this rings true. I didn't write it, but I enjoy it.
Lynne


Before I was a Mom
Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.
And before I was a Grandma, I didn't know that all those "Mom" feelings more than doubled when you see that l ittle bundle being held by "your baby"...

Remember that behind every successful mother... Is a basket of dirty
laundry.

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God I need a nap.

Lynniebits

A Poem for The DaVinci Code: 5/16/06

There once was a guy named Langdon
In Paris France is where he was hanging.
For a lecture he went there,
met a girl with red hair,
decifered a code with the Virtruvian Man in.

They say that Jesus had a kid,
some find it hard to believe he did.
But to come here to earth,
and not experience a birth,
Kind of makes the trip a little wasted.

Now I don't write this to make you frown
I am simply a fan of Dan Brown.
I like what he has to say,
think of religion a new way,
and if you don't like my poem scroll down.

Sorry, I am mid DaVinci Code, so I am thinking about it a lot, and you guys got the fallout! Must be me just being a stupid insipid hag again! Not trying to start a religious debate, just a fun little poem, so everyone, "Remain calm, all is well!"

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God I need a nap.

mike

Don't worry Lynne. 12 years of Catholic school behind my ass. I find it interesting as hell. I've watched stuff on Discovery and the History Channels lately on it.

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"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

Thender

I've see it all too, mike... Interesting "theories"... I just find it funny how some "groups" are trying to boycot the film....

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Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

mike

You see the groups that are, are all hooked with the church.

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"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

Thender

I understand that but what are they afraid of...

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Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

mike

They are going against what the Bible says, that's what. And you can't do that!!

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"A 'madame' ain't nothing but a hooker with higher aspirations."- Craig Evans

jpa

the same thing they debated when passion of the christ and the movie Stigmata came out (released late 90's)

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"Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance."
--Sam Brown

Lynniebits

Yeah, and the funny thing is that Man wrote the bible, and then different Men edited it to get people to believe what they wanted them to believe. I won't go into it, but I am a history NERD, so I love the history of it, and the art makes me insane! Not to mention I love Leonardo. Anyway, since the movie is coming out I thought it was timely.

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God I need a nap.