Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

**mike** · 08-04-2006

It was Ralphie May!

About halfway during the flight,Fred was looking for his gun to shoot himself or Ralphie. But, instead he found...

**Thender** · 08-04-2006

A straw. "What the hell am I going to do with this?" he thought. He quickly came up with a plan which was....

Jasmine · 08-05-2006

involved string, chewing gum, and one of the original AOL cd's. It worked by...

**Thender** · 08-05-2006

fricken, shear luck! But Ralphie was out of commision. The stewardess came by with the drink cart. Fred stopped her and asked for a Shirley Temple. The stewardess replied....

**mike** · 08-05-2006

"You pussy! You drink this damn shot, or I'll throw you out of this plane myself!" Oddly, he responded....

**Thender** · 08-05-2006

F*ck you! I want a Shirley Temple! Then I'll drink the damn shot! Now either give me my cocktail or I'll shove this leisure suit up your ass! The stewardess gave him his drink. As she pushed the cart away she looked over her shoulder and said.....

**mike** · 08-05-2006

"A Shirley Temple is not a fucking cocktail, you fucking queer. It's fruit juice!" Feeling a little turned on by her boldness, he said....

**Thender** · 08-05-2006

Damn! Your my kind of gal! He ripped off his leisure suit, threw it at her feet, and said "Clean and press this beotch!" He sat back down in the seat, wearing only his lepord print briefs and 6 gold chains and medalions. just then the lil' ol' lady across the aisle look over at him and said...........

**mike** · 08-05-2006

"Excuse me sonny, but how do you feel about women over 70?"
He looked at her, thought a minute, looked at her again, and said...

**Thender** · 08-05-2006

"I try not too." The lil' ol' lady got indignant, reached into her purse, and grabbed a cannister of pepper spray. She pointed it at Freds face and said....

**mike** · 08-05-2006

"So you think your better than me? I just cleaned my pussy this morning dammit. Then she sprayed and he was left like a helpless child in the fetal postion. Nobody willing to help. Then they landed, he got dressed, got off the plane, then....

**Thender** · 08-05-2006

rubbed his face on an ear of corn and ate it. He headed for the first bar he saw in the airport and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender asked....

Jasmine · 08-05-2006

"Are you sure you don't want a Shirley Temple instead?" After wiping the bar with the bartender's face, Fred heard a pop, noticed a stinging pain in his chest, then blood gushing out.

"Damn, I've been shot! Who did that?" he thought. He turned and was staring down the barrel of a small pistol...

**Thender** · 08-05-2006

Ignoring the pistol. Fred applied "first aide" to his "sucking chest wound" Using a handfull of bar napkins and some wax from a atmosphere candle. After the blood flow was stopped, Fred focused his attention on the .22 buletted breach pistol. "Who the hell carries such a tiny caliber pistol to protect themselves?" Thought Fred. He picked up a beer bottle off of the bar and smashed it over the head of..........

Lynniebits · 08-08-2006

Barney the dinosaur

**Thender** · 08-08-2006

This made Fred feel extremely euphoric! He was on his way to the men's bathroom, to beat off, when he was accosted by a midget wearing a green pimp hat with a long white feather sticking out of it. "Hey brudder!" The pimp said. "You want to make some serious cash for 'offing' an annoying, childs educational hero?" "Sure!" Replied Fred. "You go over to the 'Blue Oyster', knock on the back door, and say 'Guido sent me'." "The bouncer will give you the rest of the instructions and a contact for where to pick up your money." Fred did as he was instructed. He knocked on the door. He told the bouncer "Guido sent me." And the bouncer proceeded to tell him where to find his next big mark. The bouncer said "Grab a plane for Omaha, Nebraska. When you get off the plane a contact will meet you at gate #............

Lynniebits · 08-11-2006

69 his code name is thender, and he is a top secret double agent for the C.L.I.T organization. You should give him this password when you get off the plane...

**ob1** · 08-11-2006

..."Vulva Juice"

Afterwards, thender will reveal the identity of the target. It is assumed to be...

**Thender** · 08-11-2006

Wanker man. But his code name is ob1. Use this rope to tie him up by his toe nails and use this wilted carrot to beat him about the shoulders. After you are done, contact.....

josh · 08-12-2006

the other board bastards for further instruction. if he resists....

**mike** · 08-12-2006

Take your thong off and threaten to gag him with it. By that time ,your backup should arrive... When he does, be careful, he only likes to be addressed as......

**Thender** · 08-12-2006

2ox The Great White Hope. Just do what he says or he will............

**mike** · 08-12-2006

Take that wet noodle out of his pocket, flog you 30 times, and curse you because you didn't kiss his feet. But, he did what he was supposed to do, but still.....

**Thender** · 08-12-2006

The narrator has lost his fricken place and doesn't know where the hell this story is going. It's up to you to take it some where new. So take this.....

Chubby · 08-12-2006

lightsaber and find the one they call master.....

08-04-2006	#76
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 13,333 Throcks: 4,476.64 Thanks: 4,454 Thanked 1,669 Times in 417 Posts	Re: Story thread It was Ralphie May! About halfway during the flight,Fred was looking for his gun to shoot himself or Ralphie. But, instead he found... __________________ "The moving sidewalk is coming to an end, please lift up your balls !!"- Todd

08-04-2006	#77
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 20,222 Throcks: 3,532.54 Thanks: 4,011 Thanked 4,174 Times in 1,118 Posts	Re: Story thread A straw. "What the hell am I going to do with this?" he thought. He quickly came up with a plan which was.... __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

08-05-2006	#78
Jasmine Just another poster... Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 587 Throcks: 265.68 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Story thread involved string, chewing gum, and one of the original AOL cd's. It worked by...

08-05-2006	#79
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 20,222 Throcks: 3,532.54 Thanks: 4,011 Thanked 4,174 Times in 1,118 Posts	Re: Story thread fricken, shear luck! But Ralphie was out of commision. The stewardess came by with the drink cart. Fred stopped her and asked for a Shirley Temple. The stewardess replied.... __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

08-05-2006	#80
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 13,333 Throcks: 4,476.64 Thanks: 4,454 Thanked 1,669 Times in 417 Posts	Re: Story thread "You pussy! You drink this damn shot, or I'll throw you out of this plane myself!" Oddly, he responded.... __________________ "The moving sidewalk is coming to an end, please lift up your balls !!"- Todd

08-05-2006	#81
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 20,222 Throcks: 3,532.54 Thanks: 4,011 Thanked 4,174 Times in 1,118 Posts	Re: Story thread F*ck you! I want a Shirley Temple! Then I'll drink the damn shot! Now either give me my cocktail or I'll shove this leisure suit up your ass! The stewardess gave him his drink. As she pushed the cart away she looked over her shoulder and said..... __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

08-05-2006	#82
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 13,333 Throcks: 4,476.64 Thanks: 4,454 Thanked 1,669 Times in 417 Posts	Re: Story thread "A Shirley Temple is not a fucking cocktail, you fucking queer. It's fruit juice!" Feeling a little turned on by her boldness, he said.... __________________ "The moving sidewalk is coming to an end, please lift up your balls !!"- Todd

08-05-2006	#83
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 20,222 Throcks: 3,532.54 Thanks: 4,011 Thanked 4,174 Times in 1,118 Posts	Re: Story thread Damn! Your my kind of gal! He ripped off his leisure suit, threw it at her feet, and said "Clean and press this beotch!" He sat back down in the seat, wearing only his lepord print briefs and 6 gold chains and medalions. just then the lil' ol' lady across the aisle look over at him and said........... __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

08-05-2006	#84
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 13,333 Throcks: 4,476.64 Thanks: 4,454 Thanked 1,669 Times in 417 Posts	Re: Story thread "Excuse me sonny, but how do you feel about women over 70?" He looked at her, thought a minute, looked at her again, and said... __________________ "The moving sidewalk is coming to an end, please lift up your balls !!"- Todd

08-05-2006	#85
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 20,222 Throcks: 3,532.54 Thanks: 4,011 Thanked 4,174 Times in 1,118 Posts	Re: Story thread "I try not too." The lil' ol' lady got indignant, reached into her purse, and grabbed a cannister of pepper spray. She pointed it at Freds face and said.... __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

08-05-2006	#86
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 13,333 Throcks: 4,476.64 Thanks: 4,454 Thanked 1,669 Times in 417 Posts	Re: Story thread "So you think your better than me? I just cleaned my pussy this morning dammit. Then she sprayed and he was left like a helpless child in the fetal postion. Nobody willing to help. Then they landed, he got dressed, got off the plane, then.... __________________ "The moving sidewalk is coming to an end, please lift up your balls !!"- Todd

08-05-2006	#87
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 20,222 Throcks: 3,532.54 Thanks: 4,011 Thanked 4,174 Times in 1,118 Posts	Re: Story thread rubbed his face on an ear of corn and ate it. He headed for the first bar he saw in the airport and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender asked.... __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush. Last edited by Thender; 08-05-2006 at 06:48 PM.

08-05-2006	#88
Jasmine Just another poster... Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 587 Throcks: 265.68 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Story thread "Are you sure you don't want a Shirley Temple instead?" After wiping the bar with the bartender's face, Fred heard a pop, noticed a stinging pain in his chest, then blood gushing out. "Damn, I've been shot! Who did that?" he thought. He turned and was staring down the barrel of a small pistol...

08-05-2006	#89
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 20,222 Throcks: 3,532.54 Thanks: 4,011 Thanked 4,174 Times in 1,118 Posts	Re: Story thread Ignoring the pistol. Fred applied "first aide" to his "sucking chest wound" Using a handfull of bar napkins and some wax from a atmosphere candle. After the blood flow was stopped, Fred focused his attention on the .22 buletted breach pistol. "Who the hell carries such a tiny caliber pistol to protect themselves?" Thought Fred. He picked up a beer bottle off of the bar and smashed it over the head of.......... __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

08-08-2006	#90
Lynniebits Fear me, if you dare! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Back in Counciltucky! Age: 33 Posts: 2,126 Throcks: 336.90 Thanks: 0 Thanked 14 Times in 3 Posts	Re: Story thread Barney the dinosaur __________________ Life is too short for bras and uncomfortable shoes.

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08-08-2006	#91
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 20,222 Throcks: 3,532.54 Thanks: 4,011 Thanked 4,174 Times in 1,118 Posts	Re: Story thread This made Fred feel extremely euphoric! He was on his way to the men's bathroom, to beat off, when he was accosted by a midget wearing a green pimp hat with a long white feather sticking out of it. "Hey brudder!" The pimp said. "You want to make some serious cash for 'offing' an annoying, childs educational hero?" "Sure!" Replied Fred. "You go over to the 'Blue Oyster', knock on the back door, and say 'Guido sent me'." "The bouncer will give you the rest of the instructions and a contact for where to pick up your money." Fred did as he was instructed. He knocked on the door. He told the bouncer "Guido sent me." And the bouncer proceeded to tell him where to find his next big mark. The bouncer said "Grab a plane for Omaha, Nebraska. When you get off the plane a contact will meet you at gate #............ __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

08-11-2006	#92
Lynniebits Fear me, if you dare! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Back in Counciltucky! Age: 33 Posts: 2,126 Throcks: 336.90 Thanks: 0 Thanked 14 Times in 3 Posts	Re: Story thread 69 his code name is thender, and he is a top secret double agent for the C.L.I.T organization. You should give him this password when you get off the plane... __________________ Life is too short for bras and uncomfortable shoes.

08-11-2006	#93
ob1 ...the Clone Wars is here!! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 6,332 Throcks: 1,306.90 Thanks: 1,356 Thanked 1,154 Times in 269 Posts	Re: Story thread ..."Vulva Juice" Afterwards, thender will reveal the identity of the target. It is assumed to be... __________________

08-11-2006	#94
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 20,222 Throcks: 3,532.54 Thanks: 4,011 Thanked 4,174 Times in 1,118 Posts	Re: Story thread Wanker man. But his code name is ob1. Use this rope to tie him up by his toe nails and use this wilted carrot to beat him about the shoulders. After you are done, contact..... __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

08-12-2006	#95
josh MMMMMMM......BBQ Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: THE UNIQUE CITY OF BELLEVUE Age: 31 Posts: 2,263 Throcks: 2.77 Thanks: 283 Thanked 266 Times in 52 Posts	Re: Story thread the other board bastards for further instruction. if he resists.... __________________ THIS SPACE FOR RENT.

08-12-2006	#96
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 13,333 Throcks: 4,476.64 Thanks: 4,454 Thanked 1,669 Times in 417 Posts	Re: Story thread Take your thong off and threaten to gag him with it. By that time ,your backup should arrive... When he does, be careful, he only likes to be addressed as...... __________________ "The moving sidewalk is coming to an end, please lift up your balls !!"- Todd

08-12-2006	#97
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 20,222 Throcks: 3,532.54 Thanks: 4,011 Thanked 4,174 Times in 1,118 Posts	Re: Story thread 2ox The Great White Hope. Just do what he says or he will............ __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

08-12-2006	#98
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 13,333 Throcks: 4,476.64 Thanks: 4,454 Thanked 1,669 Times in 417 Posts	Re: Story thread Take that wet noodle out of his pocket, flog you 30 times, and curse you because you didn't kiss his feet. But, he did what he was supposed to do, but still..... __________________ "The moving sidewalk is coming to an end, please lift up your balls !!"- Todd

08-12-2006	#99
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 20,222 Throcks: 3,532.54 Thanks: 4,011 Thanked 4,174 Times in 1,118 Posts	Re: Story thread The narrator has lost his fricken place and doesn't know where the hell this story is going. It's up to you to take it some where new. So take this..... __________________ Shenandoah, American Legion Post #88 Color Guard, State Color Guard Champions for 2008 - 2009 Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

08-12-2006	#100
Chubby Yes.... I'm still a Redneck! Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Seward, NE Age: 32 Posts: 1,065 Throcks: 256.14 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Story thread lightsaber and find the one they call master..... __________________ Getting Hitched to a Redneck!