Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Jasmine · 08-13-2006

Once upon a time in a land far far away there was a little boy. He was a bad little boy and dangerous because...

josh · 08-13-2006

he worked at IHOP and his employees realy pissed him off. He told them....

Thender · 08-13-2006

"Either get off your lazy ass or I'll...........

mike · 08-13-2006

"Lick your asses with my spiked tongue. The choice is yours!!! To which they responded....

josh · 08-13-2006

we likey the spikey. Then he got real pissed and....

Thender · 08-13-2006

and grabbed a meat cleaver. He was going to..........

ericcruefan · 08-13-2006

"Finish cutting the meat because he's not lazy like his co-workers who are now..."

2ox · 08-13-2006

jasmine...I appreciate what you are trying to do with these story threads. And as you well know, these guys will take anything into the gutter as quickly as possible. Its part of the "charm" of this site.

So as long as you don't mind that every time you begin one its going to quickly become Penthouse Letters meets Dr Suess then please continue. I enjoy it and it was a great idea.

mike · 08-13-2006

Coming from Mark Twain himself!!

Thender · 08-13-2006

What's "Penthouse letters"

2ox · 08-13-2006

this one was rejected........wonder why?

Nice Guys Finish Last

I've learned that the best way to get a woman is to treat her like a lady, and if last night was any indication of things to come, it won't be long until I am in for the sex of my dreams. At about 9:30 PM I was at the neighborhood night spot having a martini before going home to enjoy "Frasier" when I heard a soft, sensuous female voice that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up and do the Riverdance. "Yo, you gotta fuckin' cigarette?" I turned around and found myself face to face with a vision of loveliness wearing a lime green tube top, leopard skin mini skirt, and matching dreadlocks - Don't try, friend. The essence of true beauty cannot be conveyed by the written word! Suffice to say that this was a young woman any healthy man would love to slowly undress and hold close as Jose Felicieano worked his musical magic and the moon mades its melancholy journey 'cross the brightening morning sky.
Over multiple rounds of "Gin And Juice" I strategically laid the path to romantic bliss with a discreet line of inquiry into her charmed life, encountering bashful yet playful attempts by the fox to shake the hound from her trail. When asked her name, the witty temptress replied with, "You got another smoke?" When I inquired into her age she purred "You gonna fuckin' light this shit or what?" My questioning into her choice of occupation was twisted into the delightful non sequitor "Why don't you smoke Newports? Newports are the fuckin' shit."

Next thing I knew, we were in my apartment sharing a bottle of red wine. Ordinarily I would have been content to end our rendezvous by getting her phone number and recommending that she pick up a copy of "Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man", essential reading to anyone about to undertake the journey into the labyrinth that is my existence. I would never insult a young lady whose acquaintance I have just made with some trite "pick up" line such as "Your place or mine?" but in this rare case her hand could not be removed from the fly of my Dockers no matter how far I walked down the block. These modern aggressive women and their spontaneous ways! But a woman needs to feel like she really knows and understands a man before she feels comfortable enough to be intimate with him and I welcomed this opportunity to share my romantic past as she did the same with more visual means by pulling down her skirt and displaying the names of former paramours tattooed across her rip young buttocks. I found this sight so inspiring I was moved to a jazz improvisation on my Casio which in turn moved her to a modern dance interpretation atop my coffee table, our collaboration bringing us together not as man and woman but as ARTISTS - Two spiritual entities bound as ONE - until I had to stop playing because she was naked atop my Casio while her tongue did a pirouette inside my mouth.

Finally, she descended from atop my coffee table and completely removed her clothing. "I can tell you want me," she breathily spoke into my ear. "I can tell because you're a dirty boy. You want to touch my love mounds don't you, you dirty boy? You want to feel my breasts perk in your grubby little hands. And then you want to take you love-muscle and pound it into to me, don't you, Pigpen?! You want feel yourself throbbing with the tremors of lust and passion. Well come on you dirty boy. Give me what you've got. 'Cuz I'm a dirty whore!!. GIVE IT TO ME!"

"Gosh," I replied. "Couldn't we just cuddle?"

Obviously my genuine respect for her womanhood had a tremendous effect on this youthful vixen. She was so excited to be in the presence of a gentleman that she immediately put all her clothes back on before she lost control and burst into flames. I wrote down her phone number and she was so eager to make sure she could be there to pick up the phone when I called that she ran out of my apartment, down the hall, and into her future as my woman. Just thinking about her makes me feel something stirring down there. No, wait, it's just the cat on my lap.

mike · 08-13-2006

Rejected? Because it was one of your letters!

2ox · 08-13-2006

so...

Thender · 08-13-2006

Now my eyes hurt.......... Thanks ox....

jpa · 08-13-2006

08-13-2006	#1
Jasmine Just another poster... Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 587	New story Once upon a time in a land far far away there was a little boy. He was a bad little boy and dangerous because...

08-13-2006	#2
josh MMMMMMM......BBQ Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: THE UNIQUE CITY OF BELLEVUE Age: 31 Posts: 2,163	Re: New story he worked at IHOP and his employees realy pissed him off. He told them.... __________________ THIS SPACE FOR RENT.

08-13-2006	#3
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 18,144	Re: New story "Either get off your lazy ass or I'll........... __________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush. 4th place, 2008 TNTU.net college fantasy football... Bud came in 6th...

08-13-2006	#4
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 12,695	Re: New story "Lick your asses with my spiked tongue. The choice is yours!!! To which they responded.... __________________ "Black Tony isn't salty, he's creamy"- Travis Justice

08-13-2006	#5
josh MMMMMMM......BBQ Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: THE UNIQUE CITY OF BELLEVUE Age: 31 Posts: 2,163	Re: New story we likey the spikey. Then he got real pissed and.... __________________ THIS SPACE FOR RENT.

08-13-2006	#6
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 18,144	Re: New story and grabbed a meat cleaver. He was going to.......... __________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush. 4th place, 2008 TNTU.net college fantasy football... Bud came in 6th...

08-13-2006	#7
ericcruefan Special Members Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Louisville, Nebraska Age: 21 Posts: 451	Re: New story "Finish cutting the meat because he's not lazy like his co-workers who are now..."

08-13-2006	#8
2ox proud beta test subject Listens: I don't listen Join Date: May 2005 Location: on the poor side of town Age: 44 Posts: 3,312	Re: New story jasmine...I appreciate what you are trying to do with these story threads. And as you well know, these guys will take anything into the gutter as quickly as possible. Its part of the "charm" of this site. So as long as you don't mind that every time you begin one its going to quickly become Penthouse Letters meets Dr Suess then please continue. I enjoy it and it was a great idea. __________________ "Sheep go to heaven, goats go to Daves"

08-13-2006	#9
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 12,695	Re: New story Coming from Mark Twain himself!! __________________ "Black Tony isn't salty, he's creamy"- Travis Justice

08-13-2006	#10
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 18,144	Re: New story What's "Penthouse letters" __________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush. 4th place, 2008 TNTU.net college fantasy football... Bud came in 6th...

08-13-2006	#11
2ox proud beta test subject Listens: I don't listen Join Date: May 2005 Location: on the poor side of town Age: 44 Posts: 3,312	Re: New story this one was rejected........wonder why? Nice Guys Finish Last I've learned that the best way to get a woman is to treat her like a lady, and if last night was any indication of things to come, it won't be long until I am in for the sex of my dreams. At about 9:30 PM I was at the neighborhood night spot having a martini before going home to enjoy "Frasier" when I heard a soft, sensuous female voice that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up and do the Riverdance. "Yo, you gotta fuckin' cigarette?" I turned around and found myself face to face with a vision of loveliness wearing a lime green tube top, leopard skin mini skirt, and matching dreadlocks - Don't try, friend. The essence of true beauty cannot be conveyed by the written word! Suffice to say that this was a young woman any healthy man would love to slowly undress and hold close as Jose Felicieano worked his musical magic and the moon mades its melancholy journey 'cross the brightening morning sky. Over multiple rounds of "Gin And Juice" I strategically laid the path to romantic bliss with a discreet line of inquiry into her charmed life, encountering bashful yet playful attempts by the fox to shake the hound from her trail. When asked her name, the witty temptress replied with, "You got another smoke?" When I inquired into her age she purred "You gonna fuckin' light this shit or what?" My questioning into her choice of occupation was twisted into the delightful non sequitor "Why don't you smoke Newports? Newports are the fuckin' shit." Next thing I knew, we were in my apartment sharing a bottle of red wine. Ordinarily I would have been content to end our rendezvous by getting her phone number and recommending that she pick up a copy of "Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man", essential reading to anyone about to undertake the journey into the labyrinth that is my existence. I would never insult a young lady whose acquaintance I have just made with some trite "pick up" line such as "Your place or mine?" but in this rare case her hand could not be removed from the fly of my Dockers no matter how far I walked down the block. These modern aggressive women and their spontaneous ways! But a woman needs to feel like she really knows and understands a man before she feels comfortable enough to be intimate with him and I welcomed this opportunity to share my romantic past as she did the same with more visual means by pulling down her skirt and displaying the names of former paramours tattooed across her rip young buttocks. I found this sight so inspiring I was moved to a jazz improvisation on my Casio which in turn moved her to a modern dance interpretation atop my coffee table, our collaboration bringing us together not as man and woman but as ARTISTS - Two spiritual entities bound as ONE - until I had to stop playing because she was naked atop my Casio while her tongue did a pirouette inside my mouth. Finally, she descended from atop my coffee table and completely removed her clothing. "I can tell you want me," she breathily spoke into my ear. "I can tell because you're a dirty boy. You want to touch my love mounds don't you, you dirty boy? You want to feel my breasts perk in your grubby little hands. And then you want to take you love-muscle and pound it into to me, don't you, Pigpen?! You want feel yourself throbbing with the tremors of lust and passion. Well come on you dirty boy. Give me what you've got. 'Cuz I'm a dirty whore!!. GIVE IT TO ME!" "Gosh," I replied. "Couldn't we just cuddle?" Obviously my genuine respect for her womanhood had a tremendous effect on this youthful vixen. She was so excited to be in the presence of a gentleman that she immediately put all her clothes back on before she lost control and burst into flames. I wrote down her phone number and she was so eager to make sure she could be there to pick up the phone when I called that she ran out of my apartment, down the hall, and into her future as my woman. Just thinking about her makes me feel something stirring down there. No, wait, it's just the cat on my lap. __________________ "Sheep go to heaven, goats go to Daves"

08-13-2006	#12
mike Drugs Are Better Than Pugs - Just Say No Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 36 Posts: 12,695	Re: New story Rejected? Because it was one of your letters! __________________ "Black Tony isn't salty, he's creamy"- Travis Justice

08-13-2006	#13
2ox proud beta test subject Listens: I don't listen Join Date: May 2005 Location: on the poor side of town Age: 44 Posts: 3,312	Re: New story so... __________________ "Sheep go to heaven, goats go to Daves"

08-13-2006	#14
Thender Always riding the ragged edge of disaster. Listens: Z92 - Mornings Join Date: May 2005 Age: 38 Posts: 18,144	Re: New story Now my eyes hurt.......... Thanks ox.... __________________ Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush. 4th place, 2008 TNTU.net college fantasy football... Bud came in 6th...

08-13-2006	#15
jpa Special Members Listens: Podcast Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha Age: 27 Posts: 6,034	Re: New story __________________ "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." --Sam Brown

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