Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

RyanB.

For some reason (I think I know why, but I don't want to admit it) I
enjoy reading these things each year. I thought I would send them out
to you.


*IDIOTS OF 2006 *


Number One Idiot of 2006

A doctor at a Poison Control Center relates the following story:

Today this woman called in, very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful, and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the
hospital.

She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention
that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency
room right away.



Number Two Idiot of 2006

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
of the plane and home.

Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the
chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated
when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.


Number Three Idiot of 2006

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch
and wrote this: "Put all yur muny in this bag". While standing in line,
waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached
the teller's window.

So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo
Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she
could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
America deposit slip, and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat
defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
Bank of America.



Number Four Idiot of 2006

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.



Number Five Idiot of 2006

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted, behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well,
but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over
21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to
him because she didn't believe him.

At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the
man was, in fact, over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber
then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the
police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the
license. They arrested the robber two hours later.


Idiot Number Six of 2006

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop, nervously waving
revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the
startled first bandit shot him.


Idiot Number Seven of 2006

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back, knocking him
unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.

(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote.)


IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by
cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be
crossing anymore."
From Kingman , KS


IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef?
From Kansas City


IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when an airport employee
asked,

"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She
asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on
earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS


IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the
company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is
fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We
all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.


IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and, for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system
would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know -
I already got that side."
This was at the CHEVY dealership in Canton, Mississippi

!

STAY ALERT!
These people walk among us .. and they REPRODUCE ...!!!

Thender

Classic........

__________________
Two in the mouth is worth one in the bush.

4th place, 2008 TNTU.net college fantasy football... Bud came in 6th...

Bud

Urban legends or real, either way funny.

__________________
Time is Short

Click Here, Free Naked Ladies

2007 TNTU.net Fantasy NASCAR Champion !!!

jpa

seen the majority of it

__________________
"Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance."
--Sam Brown