Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Monday 1-6-02

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning by talking a little about their vacations. Todd did a little skiing while the guys were off the air, Tyler stayed in town to be with his wife and newborn. TnT agreed that being in town over their vacation kind of sucks and said that they’ll never be in town for a full week and not be on the air again. As they continued discussing their time off, TnT mentioned that they both went out to see the Bobcat show at the Funny Bone on New Years Eve and shared some stories about that event. They saw Bobcat’s fiancé, Nikki Cox, and said that even though she was quite dressed down, her boobs were still hanging out. TnT then talked a little football, covering the Ole Miss debacle as well as talking about the Miami/Ohio State game, which they watched over at Black Tony’s house.

BW came in with the news a little later in the show. He started by talking about his recent sleep apnea diagnosis, which explains his uncanny ability to fall asleep at the drop of a grass blade on the couch in the Jock Lounge in between the news and e-news segments. A couple of callers with similar sleep problems checked in to share their stories. This included a call from a guy who wanted to sell BW his elephant-like, used, snot-filled sleep apnea nighttime breathing machine. BW didn’t seem interested, oddly. The guys then played a couple of rounds of ‘’What was I watching?’’ and followed that up by discussing the semantics of the word ‘’replication’’. They then had a hilarious conversation about whether or not one’s uvula could grow back after accidentally getting chopped off. That was spawned by BW’s claim that his tonsils had grown back after having been removed when he was in elementary school.

After the news, the guys spent some time talking about a variety of subjects. They all shared the various restaurants they ate at while on their break, BW talked about his lengthy 3-week drinking binge, and Todd shared a story about a hottie he made out with in his high school German Club. The guys then spent some time talking about the upcoming Dodge Ball season, the first game taking place in Bennington this Thursday. They dubbed the event ‘’the beat-off in Bennington’’.

Travis came in with the sports right around 8am. Before he got into his report, he shared a story with TnT that he saw in the newsroom of Channel 3. Trav said that a guy had cut off his penis with a homemade guillotine in a hotel just up the street from the radio station. As TnT pondered how and why someone would cut off their own junk, a few callers checked in to confirm and correct the story. One caller said he had a friend who works for the hotel and told him that the man cut off his testicles, not his penis. His friend went into the room after the slicing and took photos of the holes drilled in a table (to which the guillotine was attached) and the blood on the floor. The caller also claimed that his friend got some photos of the guy’s testicles lying on the floor. TnT asked him to bring the photos up but by the end of this morning’s show, that didn’t occur. A few other callers checked in confirming that the story was mentioned briefly on a local TV news cast, too. As you might imagine, the castration tale spawned a couple of hilarious sound effects and plenty of talk that lasted throughout the remainder of this morning’s show.

Travis eventually got around to doing his lengthy sports report, covering a ton of stories about football as well as the Creighton Blue Jays. During the sports, TnT found out how much coach Dana Altman’s home is worth, guessed at his salary, and determined that coach Altman just isn’t making enough money for as good as he is. The gang also reset their earlier Ole Miss talk, retouched on the Miami/Ohio State game, and then talked a little about a newspaper article about Crouch’s Rams situation. By the way, Travis’s ‘’For What It’s Worth’’ segment will return to Monday nights tonight so tune in to Channel 3’s 10pm newscast tonight for that or rejoin TnT tomorrow during Trav’s sports segment, where he’ll do his ‘’For What It’s Worth’’ again.

Later in the program BW returned with the entertainment report. After reading the limited number of stories Brian was able to suck off of free web sites, TnT played a round of ‘’Who the hell is that’’, a.k.a. ‘’Would you lick that’’. Jessica Dol, who provides the ‘’I would lick that’’ voice for TnT, joined the guys in studio during the segment and talked about a recent dry-humping experience she had. She claimed the sexual encounter went no further than dry humping because the guy she was with sucked at kissing. Yes, even though she hasn’t gotten any in 7 months, she gave up a perfectly ready piece of throck because he kissed like a fish.

Also during the e-news segment, Brian then spent some time bitching about Asian people on the news, such as 3’s Mark Lee and 42’s Dean Wysocki. It was pretty funny stuff. BW then read the most recent Nebraska Sex Offender registry list and concluded the entertainment report with an enjoyable new segment of useless, strange facts. Such facts included how much it costs to raise a medium sized dog to adulthood, the number of Americans in the air at any given moment, the state with the most people who walk to work, and many others. To everyone’s surprise, Todd seemed to know a lot of the facts, admittedly guessing on some, though. It was actually a very cool segment and I hope it makes a return in the near future. You can never have too many useless facts. By the way, did you know that the average bottle of champagne has 56 million bubbles in it?

Well, that’s it for the Monday update. It was great to have the guys back on the air again this morning after such a long break. Make sure to tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show and rejoin the guys tomorrow morning at 5:30am for the Tuesday edition of the Todd and Tyler show. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-