Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Tuesday 7-11-00

Todd and Tyler started the show off with a little talk about computers. They discussed the whole Napster thing, what Todd’s kids do on the computer and whether or not Tyler will get one in the future. Lisa read the news and from there, the show took a turn into the world of S & M.

I believe the S & M talk started with the discussion about computers at the beginning of the show. Someone made reference to a video clip they got on their e-mail that has a guy getting punted in the nads. TnT didn’t understand how anyone could enjoy such pain. From there, the calls started coming in from all sorts of S & M freaks. A guy checked in and told TnT about conventions he’s been to and talked briefly about the kinky things he does with his woman that involves a little bit of pain. Also, Gary the shock collar guy who checked in about a year ago called back in this morning. He put his 2 cents in on the topic. Later in the discussion, Gary’s dominating woman called the show to give her point of view on basically getting off on beating the hell out of Gary. TnT tried to talk them into doing some S & M stuff over the phone for them so they could check it out. That may take place later on so stay tuned. The S & M talk and calls continued throughout the show but the only one that stood out beyond what has already been mentioned was from a guy in Sarpy County who claimed his wife and her girlfriends take turns whipping him and trying to draw blood through his over-alls. The first to do so gets to take care of him that night. His lady called in later in the show to confirm the tale was true.

During the S & M discussion, the guys talked about dripping hot candle wax on others like they’ve seen in the movies. They figured it would burn the hell out of the wax recipient. A listener informed them that some wax, particularly that from wedding candles, is considered “low temperature wax” and, therefore, doesn’t burn as bad as the liquid hot magma produced by other candles. The guys thought it would be a good idea to drip some wax on Big Pussy to try it out. That bit will take place during tomorrow’s show and will most likely turn into a listener participation type of thing. Listen and you might be able to drip wax on Big Pussy and watch the circular rings of boiling lard emanate outward from his plate-sized areolas.

TnT’s lawyer buddy Michael stopped in this morning. The guys played a little bit of “Ask the Lawyer” with their listeners. The first few questions were about firework troubles and later, the calls turned to issues of child custody and parental rights. The best part of the whole bit was that Michael’s a lawyer in Iowa, which, naturally, has different laws on the books than Nebraska. Of course some may be similar or exactly the same but Michael had no way of knowing without consulting countless books and sources. So basically, the TnT listeners called in for legal advice that was pretty much unusable.

TnT spoke with Mark Burnette, the executive producer of CBS’s “Survivor” show again this morning. They talked about the dynamics of the show we’ve seen thus far and also about the upcoming merge between the two tribes (on tomorrow night’s episode). They talked about how nothing has leaked regarding the winner of the show and discussed plans for the next installment that will take place in the Australian Outback.

Towards the end of the show, the guys called Shaq’s home phone number in Texas. They got it through some weird, behind the scene scam and thought they’d give it a shot. In one of the funniest misdials of all time, Todd somehow screwed up the 11-digit long distance number to Texas with some strange German banking system’s phone line that asked for his pin code. Donnie tried to dial a few times and eventually the guys got a voice mail system with a little kid’s voice on it that said something to the effect of “leave a message”. Tyler piped up and said “We’re looking for your daddy. You probably are, too.” I know that doesn’t come across nearly as funny written so call and request the guys replay that bit tomorrow.

The guys ended the show by clearing out the remaining phone calls holding for “Ask a Lawyer”. They gave folks a few seconds to say their problem, bombarded them with simple, logical and incredibly fast solutions and then hung up on them to move on to the next call.

That’s all for the update today. Check back here tomorrow for the Wednesday version. Thanks for watching. Good night. –the Alien Guy-