Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Tuesday 8-17-99

Todd and Tyler started off their show talking about the latest issue of Cosmo. Shortly after they started discussing the magazine, a female caller checked in and started giving them a hard time about it. She kept saying that TnT were gay because they were reading Cosmo. They defended themselves by saying that they read women’s magazines because it gives them a better idea of what ladies are actually thinking. After a long discussion with her, they finally let her go. Surprisingly, they weren’t upset with her for her rude comments. They didn’t mind discussing their reasons for reading the mag and the call turned out to be a pretty good lead-in to the topic of the day. One of the articles in the issue was about women using sexual toys.

They started talking about toys and the topic just kind of caught on. They asked listeners to check in and tell embarrassing toy stories and received quite a few calls. Some of the stories were about kids accidentally finding the toys and deciding to race them across the kitchen table, others were about houseguests stumbling onto them. Several of the tales involved people helping their friends move when they came across a big rubber penis. Some of the best calls, however, were about dogs that had found various toys and thought it’d be a good idea to chew on them. The dogs seem to be very interested in one sex toy in particular, the Black Mamba (obviously a monster).

One guy called in and said he was a nurse’s assistant. He told the guys some stories about the wacky things he’d seen while he was on duty. None of the stories were comparable to the one he told about his own cousin. She’d gotten a little wild with a coke bottle and had somehow gotten it stuck where it shouldn’t have been. The opened bottle had a vacuum effect to it and the bottle had become lodged. So she called him and he had to come over and help her get it out. Yep, his own cousin (super-friggin-gross)! The topic continued throughout the entire show. One caller checked in and suggested that TnT have a “vibratathon”. If that’s legally possible, I’m sure we’ll be hearing that on the air shortly. Stay tuned.

At one point in the show, Todd thought he’d help out his fellow males and reveal a secret to winning an argument with your wife/girlfriend. He said that in certain cases, you can win by pulling out the “you hurt my feelings” card. The basics behind this tactic are simple. Women don’t expect to be able to actually hurt the man they love during a fight. When a man says to the woman that she has hurt his feelings, the woman may show sympathy for him, therefore ending the battle. Right after he revealed his tactic, Todd’s wife called in. It seems that Todd had forgotten that she’d be up early getting the kids ready for school. She just happened to be listening. She checked in and said that Todd has pulled that on her before but it didn’t always work. It was pretty amusing.

Yesterday, the guys talked about the bass player for Paul Rodgers being a jerk at the Birthday Bash (read yesterday’s update to be filled in). This morning, his Omaha girlfriend checked in to defend him. TnT let her give her point of view and then started railing her and her boyfriend. At the end of the call, she said, “You guys really are dicks!” and hung up on them. They continued to bash her until the end of the show.

TnT gave their listeners a brief lesson in Saunders County English this morning. Donnie called in as an English teacher from a Saunders County school. The guys had him conjugate several verbs for them. It was quite amusing. Drink became “drunk”, blew turned into “blowed” and there were many others as well. It was funny but sad. There are actually people out there who didn’t hear anything wrong with how Donnie was speaking.

TnT are thinking of doing a “look back” show soon. They’re going to get their old news guy Craig to stop in and read the day's events for them and they’ll be bringing back the Beastmaster. The Beast called in and the guys spent a little time recalling some of the things they put him through. It brought back some incredibly funny memories for everyone. I’m really looking forward to hearing that show, as I’m sure you are. Stay tuned for details.

The World Herald has been on a rampage lately giving its viewers the chance to vote for their favorite Husker games of the century. Duke called in to comment on it for a while. TnT told Duke to check back with some of the worst games he could remember but Duke claimed he didn’t need the time to think about it. He already had the worst 25 Husker games of the century burned into his brain. What else does he have to do? He’s leashed to his phone until the DUI bracelet gets taken off of his ankle in 2 months. Duke went down the list and gave the first 10 to the guys. It wasn’t surprising to hear that all of the games Duke mentioned where Husker losses. I’m sure more will follow over the next few days.

After reading yesterday’s letter from Barb Peters in the Morons from the Grandstand, TnT got a call from her this morning. She checked in to defend her comments as being non-racist. The guys let her say her piece and seemed to understand where she was coming from but I don’t think they totally believed her. She tried to say that she wanted Crouch to be QB because she’d rather see an Omaha boy get the position. They politely let her go and said they looked forward to reading more of her thoughts in the upcoming Morons from the Grandstand editions. After she was gone, they took some response calls from listeners regarding her comments.

That’s it for today’s update. Check back here tomorrow for another one. Thanks for watching. Good night. –the Alien Guy-