Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Friday 9-24-99

Todd and Tyler started off this morning show discussing fat people. Carney Wilson was in the news again due to her funky stomach stapling surgery so TnT spent some time making fun of fat kids. They also got a call from a lady who is a nurse. She told them a very funny story about a fat man losing his penis while trying to go to the bathroom. She and another woman were cleaning up the guy when he told them he had to go to the bathroom. One of them held up the massive fat roll while the other arranged the little canister in position. Shortly after that, the fat guy said, “Oops. I think we lost something.” The two nurses had to readjust the fat roll in order for the missing body part to reappear. It was very funny.

Due to the fact that the Wahoo Crime Report is being edited out in an attempt to make it boring and therefore unworthy of airing on the TnT show, the guys have had to come up with a replacement. This morning Todd and Tyler read clippings from the Saunders County Dispatch report! Surprisingly, it was very similar to the former crime reports out of Wahoo. Donnie’s police chief character from Wahoo crime report reenactments in the past has now transferred to a position as a Saunders County dispatcher. Today he reenacted a report of black cows on the side of the road. It was very uneventful but incredibly funny nonetheless.

Larry the Cable Guy called in this morning and gave TnT another commentary on Oprah being fat. It sort of tied in well with the guy’s earlier topic about fat people because Larry mentioned he’d heard Oprah thinking about stapling her fat ponch as well. Larry will be in town next week so make sure to tune in to hear him on the TnT show.

TnT spent a good portion of the show taking calls about good and bad football fans. They asked listeners to call in and admit if they’d been asshole fans in the past. There was quite a response from people willing to admit their behavior. They also took a few calls from people propping up good fans but those calls weren’t nearly as funny.

Travis came in this morning and told the guys all about his back exfoliation appointment that took place yesterday. Travis said that they popped each individual pocket of puss and then electro-shocked them. Following that, his back was steamed, rubbed down with oil and scrubbed with an S.O.S. pad. Trav said he really enjoyed it. Lisa, on the other had, was nearly sick after listening to Travis describe (in detail) the puss removal from his back. Travis also gave this week’s Lock of the Week. He’s taking Auburn over Mississippi. If you’re a betting man, take Trav’s advice. He’s 3-0 right now. If he’s correct on this game, you should go ahead and bet your children and wives on next week’s prediction.

A lengthy discussion about body cavity searches came about today. I’m not exactly sure how or why this became a topic but it turned out to be a pretty good one. TnT opened their phone lines and tool a lot of calls from listeners who’d experienced body cavity searches in various situations. Some of the callers told stories about spreading the lips/cheeks” in prison, others had been violated while in the military and there were even a few stories about being probed in airports. All of the stories were pretty funny but still quite disturbing.

Chas Elstner from the http://www.funnyboneomaha.com” target=blank>Funny Bone came in studio today and hung out for a while. He really seemed to enjoy his time with TnT. At one point he said something to the effect of, “I’ve been all over the country and talked to a lot of DJs but I’ve never laughed as hard as you guys are making me laugh”. It was quite a flattering remark for Todd and Tyler. Shortly after the remark, everyone felt the urge to sit in a circle around Chas. I don’t know what that means. Anyway, his show should be very funny this weekend so call the Bone phone at 493-8036 to make reservations to see him and the other comics.

Towards the latter part of the show, TnT sent Slave Boy Chris down to 72nd & Dodge to let listeners participate in some karaoke for Neil Diamond tickets. Quite a few people showed up to partake in the singing but most of them didn’t know the words to any of Neil’s songs. It seemed like many of the guys were sent down to sing in order to score tickets to Neil for their wives. It was quite a humorous bit.

Well, TnT will be at I-80 tonight at about 6pm for the World Of Outlaws. Bluehouse will be playing and from what I’ve heard, the first 3 kegs have already been paid for. Stop on out. Tomorrow, TnT will be at Buffalo Wild Wings at bout 5pm for the Husker game. If you’re looking for a good time, check that out.

Well, that’s the update. Check back for another one on Monday. Thanks for watching. Goodnight. –the Alien Guy-