Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Friday 5-18-01

Todd and Tyler started off the show this morning discussing their new $100 Husker Baseball College World Series guarantee. Due to the fact that the football team’s sucky season screwed them out of $10,000 a piece, the guys are only willing to offer $100 for the Huskers’ chance at making it to the CWS. Keep listening for more details because I was a bit confused as to exactly how they will or will not be giving away the cash.

Early in the show, Donnie and the guys continued their attempts to destroy the Husker cell phone they’ve been abusing all week. This time, Donnie had placed the phone inside a washer and dryer and recorded the audio. Although the sound of the phone in the washer wasn’t very impressive, hearing it bounce and thump in the dryer was pretty funny. All in all, the indestructible phone turned out to be just that, even after a week of Donnie torture.

After talking with Slaveboy Jeremy yesterday about the possibility that he was spotted with a little hottie, Jeremy phoned the guys today and informed them that his girlfriend had dumped him because of it. The guys were a bit stunned for a second, thinking that they’d actually caused Mrs. Robinson to leave the slave boy but then they figured out that Jeremy was only pranking them. TnT nearly fell for his trick, as he has fallen for theirs many times before, but the guys figured it out before Jeremy was able to claim a practical joke victory.

Brian W. wrapped up his newscast this morning by reading some statistics from a survey. The survey was about places in which one might masturbate. The percentages listed several places you may not normally think to twist one off such as at work, school or in a car. The guys spent a little time admitting the various places they’ve tugged their hogs in relation to the places mentioned in the survey. Needless to say, there were some unpleasant mental images established in the minds of anyone who was listening at the time. For example, imagine Tyler with a handful of mayo and himself sitting in the parking lot of an old folks home. *shiver, twitch, vomit*

Anyway, Todd was surprised by the percentage that admitted to doing it in a car. I believe it was somewhere around 68% of those surveyed. Well, after going around the room, 3 of the 4 guys had done it in a car at one point, therefore, making the car twisting stat accurate. The guys took calls but selected to only take calls from the female callers, as when a woman talks about rubbing it out, it’s always much more sexy than when a dude talks about it.

Todd and Tyler spent a good portion of this morning’s show doing some trained counseling for a listener named Jeff. He had phoned in and asked their advice on what to do. His wife of 1 year had recently admitted to cheating on him just 3 days before he was scheduled to adopt her child from a previous relationship. They filed for legal separation yet the woman still lives with the dude. The details to this story were vast, yet everything pointed to the fact that this guy should NOT take the woman back and should move on with his life. TnT offered him that exact opinion and then took countless calls from listeners who agreed with them. Some of the callers had even been through similar situations and warned Jeff that if he got back together with her, she’d just screw him up even more. The guys asked Jeff to check back in with an update soon so I’m sure this isn’t the last we’ll hear of this strange story.

Willie Farrell from the Funny Bone came in this morning and hung out with TnT. When he arrived, the guys brought up a rant Willie did on stage at the Funny Bone on Wednesday night about thumping people you don’t like with wiffle ball bats. It just so happened that Donnie had one of the bats with him. Well, Donnie put on his old football helmet and let Willie beat the living snot out of him. As he did so, Tyler stood up and eagerly said that he wanted to thump Donnie too. He went over to the producer and whacked away. As he finished, Tyler said in a nearly orgasmic voice, “Oh that feels good!” The bat was passed around the studio for everyone to get their shots in on Donnie. You could actually hear the tension being released over the air with each crack of the bat against Donnie’s head.

The guys spent the remainder of the show talking about the mob with Willie. His family has been in the mob forever and his dad was one of the big guys in Des Moines. He had stories about New York guys, Chicago crews and even some activity in Kansas City. Willie talked about being a kid of a mobster and what it was like after his father passed away. Todd and Tyler strongly urged everyone to get out to the Funny Bone this weekend to catch Willie’s act. Call the Bone Phone at 493-8036 for reservations to the show. It’s going to be great.

Well, that’s the Friday update. Check back here on Monday for a fresh one. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-