Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Monday 7-16-01

Todd and Tyler started off this morning’s show by discussing their very busy weekends. The guys appeared at the new gentleman’s club, Dream Girls, on Friday night. After spending their evening there, they officially decided to change references to such bars from tittie bars to ass bars. This was due in part to the fact that the girls had to wear bikinis and couldn’t show their breasts, yet in wearing the bikinis, their asses were plainly visible. Z Bash 2001 tickets went on sale at area Burger King locations on Saturday morning. The guys were at the 144th and Center location selling tickets, giving away prizes and doing the whole meet-and-greet thing to their fans. Later in the evening they appeared at the Anchor Inn to watch the Battle of the Bands. They discussed the event, talked about the bands and then spent a little time talking about the mud wrestling girls who battled it out in the mud. On Sunday, they went out to a local area racetrack (I forgot to write down the name) and watched Slave Boy Chris do the demo derby. Later in the show, TnT spoke with Slave Boy Chris about his derby experience.

Throughout much of the early morning portion of the show, TnT seemed to be talking in code about some things that occurred over the weekend. There was obviously an incident that occurred with Slave Boy Chris that got him into a bit of trouble but TnT wouldn’t spill the beans. I think it is safe to assume that Chris’s penis might have had the devil/angel syndrome in which the devil’s argument won. Perhaps TnT will reveal the shady details of what happened once the statute of limitations runs out. Also related to their in-code talk this morning, the guys hinted quite a bit about some people from other stations within the Mighty Z’s cluster that got a little freaky when drunk over the weekend at Z events. They pondered why people who don’t work directly for Z-92 still attend Z events and discussed how they were, at times, embarrassed to be around such freaks and had to retreat to the sanctity of the Chub.

Larry the Cable Guy phoned in this morning and delivered a commentary on how China has won the 2008 Olympic games. He was a bit pissed and made several references to tanked over students, airplanes held hostage and many other general humanitarian rights issues China has been known to think are non-issues. Stay tuned for more Larry later in the week.

Friday afternoon Buck Cherry was announced as another Z Bash 2001 concert artist. This morning, Todd and Tyler added the Battle of the Bands winner to the line-up. 3D will be kicking off the event this year. Congratulations 3D! We’ll see you on August 18th shortly after the annual running of the fat guys with blankets!

The guys mentioned an article in the paper this morning that detailed some information about a retiring police officer named Ron Fife who had been responsible for 190 DUI convictions in the last year. To begin with, the guys found it funny that his name was Fife, like the character on “The Andy Griffith Show”. They then were amazed at the fact that the officer caught 190 DUIs in one year when the article in the paper said that other officers could go months without a single DUI arrest. TnT began to think that Officer Fife might be being a little overzealous when it comes to catching drunk drivers. Even more amazing to the guys was that the officer busted 190 DUIs after only working, according to the article, around 210 days.

During their discussion of the officer, TnT mentioned that they had to have some listeners who had been arrested by the officer. It didn’t take long for them to get a call. The listener said he had indeed been arrested by Officer Fife for DUI and then said he knew the officer personally because their children played sports together. During that listener’s phone call, Officer Ron Fife phoned Todd and Tyler and said that his wife had told him the guys were talking about him. TnT put him on the air along with the caller the officer had busted. The original caller tried to make it sound as if the 190 DUI arrests made by Officer Fife somehow related to the cash the officer would be receiving after retirement. Officer Fife seemed to dispute the argument slightly, saying that such things could have an effect but actually made for exponentially greater work for him due to court appearances and mountains of paperwork.

After the original caller hung up the phone, TnT continued to talk with Officer Fife about his career, the 190 arrests and more. They got a few stories from him relating to some of the most screwed up people he ever arrested. I believe one of them blew a .4 on the breathalyzer. The officer seemed more than willing to talk with TnT about the article in the paper and his hefty DUI arrest streak. He also talked with TnT about what he will be doing now that he’s retiring, which sounded like he’d be getting in a whole lot of golfing. Officer Fife seemed very cool and quite informative and TnT seemed to enjoy his time on the show this morning.

After the officer’s call, the guys spent some time discussing what it would take to blow a .4 on a breathalyzer. They got a call from another listener who had some form of calculator that would tell you what you would blow relating to the number of drinks you had, the time period in which they were consumed and what your weight was. It was pretty interesting. They also got a call from someone who works with people with severe drinking problems and tries to help them straighten up. She, too, was informative and interesting.

As the show progressed, the guys continued talking about various alcohol related issues. They took a few calls on puking stories including one from a man who said he witnessed a guy get sick from the balcony above a large window on the back-end of a cruise ship. There was definite window splatterage involved. Tyler detailed his puking habits, as did Todd and Donnie. Attaboy Travis seemed amazed that people drink so much that they get sick and claimed to have never drank to excess like some of the callers. He later said that he’s had to do the foot on the floor thing to try to stop his bed from spinning and also claimed that he feels so much better when he pukes after drinking. TnT pointed out that both of those things were definitely consistent with something one who drinks too much on occasion might do but Attaboy Trav still insisted he’s never drank to excess. During the discussion, there were several stories shared by Todd and Tyler and their callers that centered on strange poop-related things people do when drunk. These stories included a very funny tale from Tyler that involved a whicker chair and a window curtain. I believe there was a reference to the Play-Doh Fun Factory made at that point in the show.

Well, that’s about it for the update today. Tune in tomorrow from 5:30am to 10am for another show and then check back here in the afternoon for another update. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-