Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Wednesday 2-6-02

Todd and Tyler started off their program this morning by discussing the new Schrier Ford Rangers they picked up yesterday. Tyler’s is particularly special because it’s got red, white, and blue stripes on it. He said that he thought trucks with flames and stripes looked a little silly for a grown man to have, mentioning Jeremy’s flame mobile as a point of reference, but it’s a free ride for a month so he wasn’t complaining. From there, they moved into yet another hate e-mail. This e-mailer hates TnT because he felt they only talk about a few things and repeat their topics too often. The e-mailer listed a few examples of what he was talking about but as TnT read them, they realized that they hadn’t discussed any of those topics lately, therefore the e-mailer didn’t have a valid point, let alone any constructive criticism.

During Brian’s news, the guys got off on a very funny tangent about the Road Runner. There was a story about an insurance company, which led Brian into telling TnT that he had two claims denied in the 7 year she’s lived in his house. TnT asked about those claims, a blown over fence and his recently stolen motorcycle, and eventually ended up with the Road Runner on Brian’s motorcycle driving wildly all over Springfield knocking down fences while Brian attempted a variety of ACME products to thwart his nemesis. I laughed so heard I burst a blood vessel in my eye.

The guys talked a bit about their “Hairlip” cover idea that was mentioned towards the end of yesterday’s show. They said that they had already received a picture or two and were looking forward to getting more. One very raspy voiced lady phoned in, said she would like to participate, and then mentioned she’ll be coming up soon to get her photo taken. At that point, TnT wondered whether or not a camera had been acquired for use in this endeavor, later finding out that they did. After the raspy voiced woman’s call, the guys got several calls from the same man who claimed to be different women who wanted to participate as well. It was pretty funny. Then, the original raspy voiced woman called back and was pissed at TnT, Donnie, and the caller for making fun of her voice. TnT were able to easily smooth things over with her by having Donnie retract any harsh statements made about the woman’s smoker voice. Perhaps we’ll see her photos up on the web site soon. All of you other ladies hurry and get your photos to the guys today!

TnT continued their discussion of the St. Vincent DePaul teacher who was busted for allegedly having his students twist one off into film canisters as he watched. They’ve noticed that no other media outlet has bothered to ask, “why film canisters”, which lead into interesting tangent. They pondered how anyone could aim into such a small container to begin with. Tyler said that when he’s orgasming, he’s shaking and bucking his whole body all over the place, much like one of those bobble head dolls attached to the front of a shock-less mountain bike. There would be no way he could aim into a 1-inch hole. From there, they opened up the phone lines and took a few calls from people who had experienced such a task. Most of those callers were related to post-vasectomy semen samples but it’s possible a few had tried to masturbate into a small-mouthed container just for craps and giggles. Todd talked a bit about the few sperm samples he had to give after his vasectomy and said that it was definitely hard to get it all in the small pill bottle he was given. He shared the story of his little spooge spilling “accident” at that point. From there, the guys wondered about whether or not one could collect a sample from one’s own belly. Where’s Dr. Ed when you’ve got a spooge question?

During Brian’s entertainment report, the guys got off on a very funny tangent that began with discussion of Winona Ryder’s court appearance and somehow ended with Tyler shoplifting a dildo up his ass. I have no explanation for this hilarious 5-minute piece so I’ll suggest you check out tonight’s 3^rd Shift Replay and/or make it a point to listen to the entire 4 ½ show.

TnT spoke with Mark Lundholm who will be appearing at the Funny Bone tonight through the weekend. He talked about a Showtime special that he recorded, which will air sometime in July, and also got caught up on old times with TnT. He will be joining the guys in studio on Friday morning so tune in. Mark is doing a “no alcohol” show on Monday night only so if you are so inclined, you can catch that. Just call the Bone Phone at 493-8036 for reservations to any of the shows, alcohol or not.

Deb Ward from Channel 3 joined TnT in studio today and did sports for Travis. Attaboy is in Indiana covering tonight’s Creighton game that will air at 6pm on Channel 3. Right away this morning, the guys tried to get Deb to say “masturbate”, as she’s been saying it a lot on TV lately because of the St. Vincent DePaul teacher story, and both TnT think she says the word very sexy. Eventually, she got around to saying it because Donnie wrote up a fake sports story for her to read that had “masturbate” in the copy.

I believe this was the first time Deb had actually sat in with TnT before so the guys took a little time to get to know her better. They talked about a blind date she had 20 years ago in a strip club and got details on her parent’s funky marriage that ended up placing her as the 8^th child of 13 in the household. They also talked with her about her husband Joe.

The guys also talked with Deb about the changes Channel 3 has made to their news lately as well as discussing the upcoming Sweeps. She told them about a few stories they are going to be doing during that time including some hair transplant stuff, testing those electric shock ab machines, and she also detailed a gripping story about a “road to the Olympics” that was built by an Omaha company.

Since Travis wasn’t in, earlier in the show TnT had spent some time hammering on him. They like to give Travis a hard when he’s out of town and can’t defend himself because that makes it all the more funny. When Deb came in, she sort of joined in on the hammering. Well, she didn’t actually hammer Travis herself. In fact, she said she loves Travis, he does a great job, and she thoroughly enjoys working with him. Instead, she slipped a couple of times and brought some things up on the air that one wouldn’t think Travis would want known. Yes, she spilled the beans and told TnT that Travis has been doing Weight Watchers. After spending a little time talking about that, along with the electric shock ab machine they’ve been zapping Travis with over at Channel 3, TnT slipped up themselves and detailed a story about Travis getting all liquored up on apple martinis and puking so hard that he popped a blood vessel in his eye.

Well, that’s it for today’s update. Deb Ward from Channel 3 will be in for Travis again tomorrow so tune in. Also, check out tonight’s 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show airing at 10pm and rejoin TnT tomorrow at 5:30am for another show. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-