Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Wednesday 2-13-02

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning by discussing their extended weekends. Of the two, Tyler seemed to have the best time because he actually got out of town. Todd, on the other hand, seemed rather bummed out by his lack of weekend activities. His adventures included a trip to Lincoln, where he stayed the night at a hotel due to bad weather, a trip to the megalopolis of Yutan and a court appearance in which he has been barred from discussing on the air. Due to situations beyond his control (obviously court related, as we discovered today), his normal ski trip to Colorado didn’t come about and it was clear that Todd was disappointed.

Tyler’s much more exiting adventures took him to Las Vegas. He spent a great deal of time discussing his Vegas trip throughout the remainder of the show, eventually leaving Vegas itself as a topic if interest. He talked about the porno flyers that he accepted on the street to help out the illegal immigrants who are paid to distribute the material and he also described the airport security he encountered. Tyler seemed happy to see that security pulled over an Arab man and checked him thoroughly but thought it was a bit ridiculous when he saw an old man in a wheelchair who could barely stand on his own also getting checked in the same manner.

As the show progressed, Tyler continued talking about his vacation. He visited a sports book and was nearly charged $200 for joke bets for friends that should have only cost him $2. Instead, he ended up wasting $20 on a Titans bet for news chick Brian and a NC basketball bet for one of his buddies back in PA. He and Becky also saw Tom Jones perform and said that the show was excellent. While there, they were seated next to a British couple and Tyler couldn’t understand the man because of his deep accent. Several attempts to impersonate the dialect of the British man led us to believe Tyler was seated next to a cockney chicken. I laughed so hard I may have ruptured a kidney.

Trisha Meuret from Channel 7 came in this morning to do the news and entertainment reports for Brian. He wasn’t in today and won’t be in for the rest of the week because of some nasty diseases he picked up lately. After fulfilling her roll as information dispenser, she spent a little time talking with TnT about the Kansas City bachelorette party trip she and her friends made a while back, the trip that was yet to come during her last visit to TnT’s show. She said that her friends had gotten so drunk before returning to the hotel room for the stripper that they had to cancel the stripper, which bummed her out. By the way, Todd and Tyler were surprised to hear that Rolondo is still in Trisha’s life. Keep in mind that she will be joining TnT in place of Brian for the remainder of the week.

Larry the Cable Guy checked in today and delivered a commentary on how Ellen wants to have kids now much like some other famous lesbians in recent years. Larry admitted that the commentary was written (and possibly performed) while he was hammered and that alcohol use was most likely the reason for the “coaxing Webster out of Ellen’s ass” references. Stay tuned for more from Larry as the week progresses.

Vegas talk continued when Tyler spoke of the baby photo hut he and Becky visited while at the Luxor. The photo hut basically takes a picture of you and your significant other and then morphs the two photos into either a boy child or a girl child. The idea behind it is to let you see what your baby might look like. Tyler and Becky chose a girl and after about 10 minutes, the computer spit out an image of their child. Tyler was amused to see that the computer had somehow determined he and Becky would have a Mexican daughter with drunken, bloodshot eyes. Donnie informed Tyler that he must have missed the little drawer beneath the hut where one is supposed to extract the actual baby created by the computer for the couple so there’s a chance that the next person in line to use the baby photo hut will end up with two babies, one a drunken Mexican girl.

The Todd and Tyler Traveling Dodge Ball All Stars are taking on Griswald, Iowa tonight at 7pm. TnT got some phone calls from Griswaldians who ran a little smack and from the sounds of it, they’ve acquired some ringers to help them lessen the powerful blows Todd and Tyler’s All Star team of champions. We all know they will be no match for the Todd and Tyler Traveling Dodge Ball All Stars. Make sure to tune in tomorrow for full details of tonight’s TnT victory.

TnT sent Big Pussy out on the town this morning with a mission to give away some tickets to Creed’s upcoming concert in Kansas City. Pussy went around town and awarded the tickets to the first person he saw with a Todd and Tyler America Rocks bumper sticker. The winner was a lady named Amy and before Big Pussy could put her on the air to talk to TnT, she left for work. Later, though, she phoned the guys, explained how Big Pussy stalked her on her drive to work and thanked them for the tickets.

Donnie surprised us all this morning by announcing that he’s been seriously thinking about getting a vasectomy. He was a bit worried because he has an aunt in office where he is planning the operation. He doesn’t want his aunt to see his junk, although he did make it a point to say that the aunt is not blood related. TnT seemed happy to know that there won’t be any more little Donnie’s running around in the future but wondered what would happen when Caller 9 gets tired of Donnie, dumps him and then Donnie’s next wife wants to have kids. Sometime in March, when his aunt is out of the office, the snipping of the neck will take place. Stay tuned for further details.

As the show progressed, TnT continued discussing a variety of the topics mentioned earlier in the program. There was more discussion and phone calls about Las Vegas, they talked about the trend of Asian “high rollers” in the casinos and they laughed some more when thinking what would happen if TnT got into one of those “your baby” photo machines and selected a girl as their child. The guys mentioned that the Todd and Tyler party plane to Vegas promotion will most likely be getting under way soon and poor Todd continued to show his sorrow for not having had the chance to leave Omaha on the guys’ 4 day weekend. More dodge ball talk surfaced as well. Todd and Tyler evaluated their dodge ball team and realized that they will be missing some players tonight for various reasons. Those few missing All Stars and the ringers Griswald has arranged to play for them might end up knocking TnT out of 1^st place.

Remember to join TnT in Griswald, IA tonight as their Traveling Dodge Ball All Stars pound their pitiful Tiger opponents into submission. There is going to be a sloppy joe feed beginning at 6pm and the dodge ball action starts at 7pm.

Tomorrow Todd and Tyler will speak with Bob Reno from http://www.badjocks.com” target=blank>www.badjocks.com and they are supposed to have an interview with Ray Manzarek, the keyboardist for the Doors.

Well, that’s all for the update today. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay and rejoin the guys on the air at 5:30am tomorrow for another show. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-