Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Thursday 4-11-02

Todd and Tyler started off their program this morning by discussing what took place yesterday. Sex therapist Natasha Terry joined the guys for about 3 ½ hours of sex talk. Both TnT agreed that sitting around and talking about sex for so long, especially with someone who’s trying to make it sound so clinical, was a bit too much, even for them. “Just put it in her and hump her,” said Tyler as he expressed how simple knocking it out really is. Speaking of Natasha, Tyler mentioned that he got a call last night from sales weasel Dan asking him for some of the numb numb numb cream Natasha brought. Tyler said that he didn’t bother to answer the phone because when anyone from the station calls, it’s either to try to talk him into some appearance or there’s some form of trouble brewing. Todd concurred with Tyler’s no phone answering scheme when the Caller ID says Journal Broadcast Group but both guys said the fine folks they work with have learned of their dodging methods and have taken to calling the guys at home from cell phones.

TnT spent a little time talking about an article in “Go” magazine from the World Herald. As they have mentioned countless times before, they are bored in Omaha and there’s not much to do other than go out to eat at restaurants. Well, they’re obviously not the only ones who feel this way because the people at “Go” printed a list of clubs one could join in the Omaha area, obviously trying to give the impression that there is something to do in this town. The guys read over several of the clubs names and descriptions, each sounding like it was full of yuppy, rich “professionals” with nothing better to do than get together and drink. Humorously, according to the article, that’s exactly what they clubs admitted they do. Nearly all of them mentioned that they have some form of regular get-together at the Brazen Head.

The president of one of the clubs TnT were talking about, Claudia called the guys to discuss her club. She began her call by drawing TnT in, saying that she is a Spanish teacher at a local all girl’s catholic school. After getting their interest, she proceeded to ramble on about her club and the others for around 10 minutes. Todd and Tyler were very nice to her, though, because she seemed nice herself but it was quite obvious that they would have rather spent those 10 minutes crushing their own throcks repeatedly in a splintery door jam.

Trisha Meuret from Channel 7 came in again for Brian. She did the news and entertainment reports and joined in on the topics of the day. A variety of conversations occurred during the first half of the show while Trisha was in. She discussed seeing the new arena and convention center construction site the other day and seemed impressed by it. Then she told TnT about her sister’s Old Market bachelorette party a while back. The group of girls convinced a guy to give them his underwear. Trisha said the girls gathered in a circle in front of the French Café and the guy removed his pants, then his boxers, then his tighty whities in front of them while in the middle of the chick circle. Trisha claimed not to have caught a glimpse of the guy’s junk but everyone found that hard to believe. The gang then spent some time discussing how odd it was that the guy had on boxers and briefs at the same time.

Also early in the show, other topics came up that, frankly, I’m finding hard to fit into any sort of ordered paragraph. TnT took a call and tried to help some lady find her stolen car and the dog that was in it. There was a discussion about modern day pirates roaming the high seas killing people. The guys discussed how Omaha needs a really hot head weather lady on the news. Several calls from Father Rob came in throughout the morning as he pounded his keyboard and pud searching for naked kids (it was funnier than it sounds here, I promise). And finally, the guys had a lengthy discussion about the taste of a Musk Ox condom. If you just went, “Huh?” don’t worry. Some things just can’t be explained in writing. You’ve got to listen to the whole show.

Just before 9am, Todd and Tyler fired up their Mexican Connection and spoke to Dr. Ed from his basement in Tyler, Texas. The doc said he was standing pretty much just in a pair of boots holding the microphone in his hand. I believe he even referenced the microphone as being rather “phallic” (that means penis-like Wahoo). The conversation seemed to be more of quick hello and an equipment test, as the doc didn’t take phone calls. After some adjustments to how far away Dr. Ed placed his mouth from the phallic microphone, you really couldn’t tell he wasn’t sitting right in the studio with TnT. Everyone seemed quite pleased with the quality of the sound and expressed how much they are looking forward to the official return of Dr. Ed via an ISDN line next Wednesday. Start storing up your medical questions now.

From the Funny Bone, TnT were joined in studio by Ahzeem. He was scheduled to appear at the Funny Bone next week but his car broke down 20 miles outside of Omaha on I-29 and after hitching a ride from a pimp (seriously), he ended up in Omaha at the Funny Bone. Colleen took him in a week early and is letting him perform for the next two weeks. Ahzeem joined in on the topics of the day and seemed to enjoy his time with TnT. He’ll most likely be in studio again before he heads out of town so stay tuned. By the way, you can call the Funny Bone any time after 10am on the weekdays and make reservations to catch a show. The phone number is 493-8036 and believe me when I tell ya, it’s probably the most fun you’ll be able to have in Omaha so call today.

Since the guys spent some time talking about the Funny Bone today, they brought their friend Alicia to the microphone. She used to work at the Bone before going overseas to Korea for a little over a year. You might remember her from the Payne Stewart bit TnT did years ago where they had her phone Augusta and pretend to be Mrs. Stewart about 5 months after the guy froze to death in a freakish plane accident. TnT didn’t know it at the time but Alicia didn’t know whom Payne Stewart was or that he had died when she originally made the phone call. She told the guys she took crap for about a month after that from people who thought she and TnT went over the line by making fun of the dead golfer. TnT played the clip of the phone call to refresh our memories and it was as funny today as it was the day they did it. By the way, you can get your hands on a copy of the phone call by picking up a “Wood Eye” CD.

Matt Wallace the saxophone guy came in studio today and hung out with TnT for a while. He’s going to be playing a little Salsa/Latin music at the Regency Fashion Court on Sunday night between 5:30pm and 8:30pm for the “Taste The Nation” benefit. He hung out and joined in on the topics of the day. Later, the rest of his group showed up and played about 30 songs for TnT.

The group in studio was rather diverse for a while. Jose from the Spanish speaking station came in, one of the band guys named Michael was from Chile, Matt’s a brother, Ahzeem is a Muslim, TnT are white, Donnie’s a neck. Anyway, TnT spent some time talking to Michael about Chile, it’s cuisine and more. Tyler brought up Chilean sea bass and Todd had an orgasm. TnT then found out the Chileans hate the Mexicans and everyone in South America hates the Argentineans. All of the hatred, believe it or not, stems from the world of soccer. Surprise. Before the end of the show, the guys played a little game of “Guess who’s on the sax”. Todd, Donnie, and Matt all belted out a quick blurt on the horn and the audience was to guess who was who by the sound. It was pretty easy to figure out. Matt sounded good, Todd sounded okay but hasn’t played his sax on the air for probably more than 3 years, and Donnie, having never played a saxophone before, sounded like he was squeezing the crap out of a puppy.

Well, that’s it for the big Thursday update. It was a great show this morning and if you missed it, you should now be all caught up. If not, tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay and rejoin TnT tomorrow morning at 5:30am as they kick off the Friday show. It will be a busy program so tune in early and stick with the guys so you don’t miss anything. If you do, just check back here tomorrow and I’ll fill you in. Thanks for watching. Good night. –Corby-