Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Monday 4-15-02

Todd and Tyler started off their show today by discussing the 3^rd Shift Replay of last Friday’s show that aired overnight. According to reports, the last ½ hour or so of the Friday show was cut off last night, which made the guys quite unhappy because they felt that ½ hour was very funny (and it was!). As you may recall, that last ½ hour or so included a discussion about getting mentally challenged people drunk, having sex with mentally challenged people, the sex with a girl who’s got a baby arm angle and the female human backpack story from a caller. A few callers checked in to confirm that last night’s 3^rd Shift Replay was indeed cut short and TnT then said they would look into getting that situation rectified.

The guys moved on into a discussion about their first annual Pocket Pool tournament that took place on Saturday. With the exception of the cheesy trophy created by Donnie that was given to the winner, the cheesiness blame bounced back and forth between James the Giant Peach and Donnie during a phone call from the Peach, the event seemed to be a success. The guys did comment, though, on the overall pastiness of the pool tournament participants, at one point someone referred to the contestants being nearly transparent in their whiteness.

Also early in the show, TnT discussed a totally idiotic article from the World Herald that compared Tom Osborne to Ozzy Osbourne (Omaha.com) simply because the two have the same sounding last name. TnT speculated that with the recent popularity of Ozzy due to the hit show on MTV, “The Osbournes”, the paper attempted the standard Husker angle that they apply to nearly everything and that’s how the article came about. TnT read over pieces of the article, expressed how worthless and stupid they felt it was and then moved on into discussing something that made them only slightly less physically ill, the Omaha Press Club Ball.

As Trisha mentioned last week, she ushered the Omaha Press Club Ball over the weekend and she gave her reaction to the event to TnT this morning. She tried to make it sound as though the event wasn’t entirely horrible but Todd and Tyler saw through her comments as soon as Trisha mentioned that she left early. During the conversation, Tyler mentioned that he wanted to have Tracy Madden of Channel 6 get on stage at next year’s Ball in nothing but a pair of cotton panties so he could give her an ass spanking or two. Several other attractive ladies from the local TV news stations were also mentioned in the same tone. It was rather creepy but Tyler seemed to rather enjoy the thought of creeping out Tracy Madden.

Donnie’s masturbation embargo has been lifted by his wife! As many of you know, Donnie’s wife laid down the law a while back and told him he couldn’t twist one off in the house any more. Well, since his vasectomy, the doctors are requiring him to release the hounds often in order to make sure his pipes are thoroughly cleaned out. One might speculate that Caller 9 is getting a bit tired of assisting Donnie in the cleaning process so she is now allowing him to tug it out at the roots as often as he needs in order to get the required 20 sessions out of the way by the end of the month. I’m not sure but I believe congratulations are in order for our favorite neck producer.

The guys spent some time discussing autoerotic asphyxiation after Tyler mentioned that he saw it on HBO’s “6 Feet Under” last night. Tyler said the guy in the show had a lemon in his mouth but dropped it during the act and that somehow had something to do with his death. The guys wondered what the lemon was for so they got a hold of Dr. Ed to figure it out. The doc said he had never heard of a lemon being used in autoerotic asphyxiation but he speculated, along with TnT, that the citric acid in the lemon, along with the pungent taste is supposed to have some sort of shock effect that makes the choking masturbator realize he is still alive and then unhook himself from his choking device. The guys asked for calls on the subject and with the exception of one caller ratting out a guy who died at UNL of an autoerotic asphyxiation accident a while back, no one really seemed to want to admit to choking themselves to enhance their orgasms.

Todd and Tyler announced the official release of “Hair Lip” today. Their new CD hits stores on Saturday and can be found at all area Homers and Quick Trip locations around town. Todd and Tyler are going to be at the Council Bluffs QT on Saturday from 11 to 1pm and then they are headed over to the 132^nd and Center Street Homers store from 2 to 4pm. Throughout the show, TnT talked about some of the clips that are featured on the CD and they even played a few of the clips to wet our appetites. Towards the end of the show, the guys discussed some of the photos within the CD. It seems that there are a couple of close-up photos of both Todd and Tyler’s mouths and Todd’s mouth, which has a little bit of stubble around it in the photo, looks pretty much exactly like a woman’s pie if you squint just right. That’s worth the price of the CD right there folks.

After Trisha finished her reports today, the guys talked with her a bit about Rolondo, her boy toy. Yes, she still won’t admit to him being her boyfriend even though she’s gone well above and beyond her normal “cut’em off after 3 weeks” rule. Trisha said that Rolondo is an atheist and she has some concerns about her family meeting him in a few weeks when her sister has her wedding. Her concerns stem from the fact that her family is Catholic and most Catholics don’t agree with atheists in general. Todd and Tyler, on the other hand, said they would probably get along quite well with Rolondo if they ever met him because they have similar views on the world. Further details on the saga of “Trisha and Rolondo the Atheist” are bound to come up again in the future so stay tuned.

In the middle of the show today, the guys got off on a couple of tangents involving getting hookers for mentally challenged people and what is the proper term for black people. The Corky sex talk came about after a caller said he works with a bunch of mentally challenged people who spent all of their time trying to get laid. What to call black people came about after TnT discussed a particular professional golfer who is obviously black but doesn’t call himself black. During that discussion, a black guy called in and gave Tyler crap for pronouncing the word “brother” too properly. That caller, along with a couple of e-mails that followed, all agreed that calling black people black is acceptable and TnT shouldn’t white it up by trying to refer to them as “brothers”.

Larry the Cable Guy checked in this morning and delivered a commentary on how his lady is trying to make him work out. There’s really not much more to say about the commentary so I’ll conclude this paragraph by pointing you in the direction of the Cable Guy’s web site, Larry The Cable Guy.

TnT spoke to former Husker Aaron Taylor this morning. They talked a bit about Scott Frost and from the sounds of it, Aaron is going to try to bring Frost into the studio at some point in the future. Yes Donnie and Frost in the same studio would sure be interesting. I wonder who will end up doing a face plant into the carpet that morning? On a related note, early in the show TnT told everyone about a rumor they had recently heard regarding a certain yack hair clad, somewhat cross-eyed former Husker player turned pro who used to grab Husker defensive player’s junk while in the shower back at Lincoln to intimidate them and show everyone how “crazy” he was. Aaron would neither confirm nor deny the allegations but said that he would share plenty of juicy stories with TnT off the air over a beer. Yes, there are definite perks when it comes to spicy privileged information when your names are Todd and Tyler. But, knowing their history of spilling things meant for “off the air” only, we’ll eventually get to hear such stories as listeners so just keep tuned to the Todd and Tyler show.

Towards the end of the show, TnT spent some time talking about divorces. They tried to determine how long the average marriage ending in divorce might last, using Donnie, Todd, and a few callers as their data pool. With limited numbers, the statistics may have been off but from the sounds of it, people stay married for somewhere around 6 years before calling it quits. The guys may explore this topic further tomorrow so if they ask for your stories, give’em a call and share the details.

Well, that’s it for the big Monday update. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show and then join TnT tomorrow at 5:30am for another program. The guys from Cohen, Vacanti, Higgins and Shattuck will join TnT to discuss legal matters so it should be an interesting show. Thanks for watching. Good night. –Corby-