Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Monday 4-22-02

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning by discussing their weekends. They made a few appearances on Saturday to sell their new “Hair Lip” CD and they seemed quite pleased with the turnouts. Todd and Tyler CDs were flying off the shelves at the Homers and Quick Trip stores. Black Tony dressed in drag with a blonde wig as Miss Hair Lip runner up made quite an impression on all who showed up to see TnT. On Saturday night after their appearances earlier in the day, the guys went out to eat and later ended up hanging out at Todd’s place afterwards because they had nothing else to do. They realized, when out for dinner, that the people of Omaha have spending money for entertainment but because of the lack of things to do in the town, the only option people have is to go to dinner. That’s why all of the restaurants are packed on any given weekend night. They talked a bit about how people have tried to tell them there are things to do in Omaha like going to plays and the opera but neither of them seemed very interested in that sort of entertainment and speculated that many in their audience weren’t either. From the sounds of it, the guys would be a bit happier here in town if there was a steady flow of big concerts or if there was some sort of major league professional sports team here. Perhaps when the new Arena is finished Todd and Tyler, along with the rest of us, will have additional choices for spending our entertainment dollars that don’t revolve around stuffing our faces at any of the 3 million restaurants in town.

From there, TnT discussed the NFL draft and were pleased to hear that Crouch went much sooner than expected, the 3^rd round. TnT mentioned that they are going to be sending the “10^th Street Bridge” song Crouch sang, the one they played towards the end of Friday’s show, to a radio duo they know in St. Louis so Crouch’s inability to say “no” will haunt him even in his new home town. While playing the song early this morning, the guys noticed one line in the tune that sounded like Crouch was singing, “Raging hard-on sore” and throughout the remainder of today’s show, that isolated clip along with various other pieces of the Crouch song rang from radios across town. TnT also mentioned an article from the paper that talked about how Crouch may have a singing career if the NFL thing doesn’t work out for him, the author obviously searching for some way to work in a mention of the CD in his article.

Early in the show, Tyler mentioned that he saw a show on HBO last night about hookers. It was kind of a documentary thing where the filmmakers followed around some hookers and recorded their activities. He mentioned the show was a follow-up to a previous HBO show with the same premise. For the most part, Tyler said the hookers on the show were skanky but when a caller checked in later to talk about the program, he and Tyler agreed that one or two of them were actually pretty hot. Tyler said that as he and Becky watched the program, they both got a little horny. Amusingly, he said that he and Becky spent some time justifying to each other getting turned on by saying that hearing anyone talk dirty about sex or hearing anyone actually having sex would turn anyone on regardless if hookers were involved. Tyler seemed most amused by (and creepily, most turned on by) one of the guys in the show that wanted to have sex with one of the more attractive hookers while one of the uglier ones licked his bung.

With all the talk of HBO’s hooker show last night, TnT opened up their phone lines to any listener who had hooker stories to share with the audience. They asked for callers who may have had sex with hookers in Omaha. The guys figured there must be someone using escort services here in town considering the massive quantity of ads in various papers and phone books and they were right because they got some interesting phone calls. One was from a guy who used to work as a driver/bouncer for an escort services in town and he shared some interesting facts. Another caller said that when she was a teenager, she tossed a quarter to a hooker and told her to buy some dignity. The hooker promptly threw a brick through the window of she and her sister’s shared new car and the story is now famous within there family. There was a story about a man who got arrested for soliciting while he had his 5-year-old asleep in the back seat. The story was later confirmed by a female caller who said she was actually working with that guy’s wife when she got the call to go pick her husband up after his arrest.

The hooker stories continued throughout the show and many of the callers had stories about their friends getting busted by under cover police when they were trying to buy some sex. One guy told a tale about how he and his friends got their car stolen by a pimp with a heart of gold; the car was later returned. In one of the stranger calls of the day, a man checked in and said he unknowingly had sex with a transvestite while on leave from the military while in Barcelona, Spain. Hilarious “You humped a boy” taunts followed up that call. Late in the program, TnT switched the focus of the hooker talk to small town hoes. They took some phone calls on that subject but the women discussed by those callers seemed to be more like just your everyday average sluts than actual working girls.

Travis came in to do the sports today after having been out of town in Colorado for the last part of last week. He talked a little about his trip with TnT and from the sounds of it, he and his family really enjoyed their time in the mountains. The guys talked with Trav about Crouch and the NFL draft for a while and then played Eric Crouch’s “10^th Street Bridge” song for Travis. Later Attaboy rejoined TnT and delivered his sportscast. Keep in mind that tonight is Travis’s weekly “For What It’s Worth” on Channel 3’s 10pm newscast so tune in tonight to catch that. If you miss it, he will redo it tomorrow on the Todd and Tyler show.

Larry the Cable Guy checked in this morning and delivered a commentary on Robert Blake’s arrest. During his call Larry the Cable Smoker made several appearances, actually funnier than the real Larry’s commentary, believe it or not, and really seemed to piss off Cable Guy. Larry will check in again as the week progresses so stay tuned to the Todd and Tyler show for more.

Brian’s entertainment report was concluded with a list of Nebraska’s top 10 male and female baby names over the last year. Ranking #1 on the girls list was Madison and #1 on the boy’s list was Jacob. The guys talked about the recent change in baby naming that has caused many older types of names to become more popular. Fitting in perfectly with the baby name list, Brian’s concluding “kicker story” to close the entertainment report was a tale about a 5-month-old baby that died when a gun put in an oven went off while the child’s parents pre-heated the oven in order to make a pizza. Todd and Tyler seemed pretty pissed at Brian’s continuous choice of dead kid stories to conclude his reports yet no one seemed quite as mad as Donnie, who threatened to hit Brian in the mouth if he did it again.

Late in the show, TnT received a report of the top 20 selling albums from Homer’s list from last week, up to and including Saturday. All three Todd and Tyler CDs were in the top 20. #14 was Greetings, #6 was Wood Eye and the #1 selling CD (surprising considering it’s count was only officially tallied in the rankings for one day, Saturday) was the new Todd and Tyler Hair Lip CD. The guys took a moment to thank everyone who stopped out to buy their CD on Saturday and wanted to remind everyone that “Hair Lip” along with the occasional “Wood Eye” and “Greetings From Throckmorton” CD can be found at all area Homers and Quick Trip locations.

To conclude this morning’s program, Todd and Tyler brought Jessica Dol into the studio. She told the guys about how Jeremy met her parents for the first time over the weekend. Jeremy and Jessica, along with Slave Boy Chris and his current girlfriend, went to see Jessica’s parents in Paris, MO and on the way there, Jeremy guzzled about 8 beers. By the time they arrived in the evening, he was officially hammered off his rocker. Upon their arrival, Jessica’s parents had some sort of campfire going so the group joined in on the festivities. Jeremy, in an obvious drunken state of incoherence, thought it would be lots of fun to play Hammered Hide-N-Go Seek behind an outhouse not far from the blaze. What a wonderful impression to make on your new girlfriend’s parents upon first meeting them. Todd and Tyler sounded embarrassed for Jeremy’s behavior but Jessica didn’t seem to mind. She then filled TnT in on some other details of the weekend including a drunken Zobmondo game. It’s no wonder that Jeremy wouldn’t join TnT in the studio earlier in the show to talk about his trip to meet the Fokers.

Well, that’s it for the Monday update. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay of today’s show and make sure to rejoin Todd and Tyler tomorrow at 5:30am for the Tuesday program. Thanks for watching. Good night. –Corby-