Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Thursday 5-2-02

Todd and Tyler started off their show today by discussing a variety of topics including a Lutheran minister who was busted for asking a cop to twist off with him at Cunningham and a conversation about volunteer firefighters. The firefighter talk led Tyler into telling a tale about a hazing ritual he heard about back in PA. Evidently a group of softball friends decided to form a volunteer fire department and would paint the testicles of new guys the color of their softball team’s uniforms when they would join. From there, TnT read an e-mail from the Anti-Husker fan saying that he would no longer be calling the show. Since we lost Dodge County Duke and Lisa Volenec, he’s had little to focus his attention on and therefore he was going to call it quits. Later in the show, though, he made a phone appearance and laid some smack down on Brian’s hot mom. TnT prompted the Anti-Husker fan to stick around until this season because judging by the way the team looks, he’ll have plenty of material come this fall.

Also within the first segment of the show, the guys mentioned Z-92’s 2 millionth song promotion we’ve been hearing about lately. They figured that they’ve been on the air long enough (around 9 years) that their show is probably approaching many 2 millionth milestones as well. So, throughout the remainder of the show, each time they felt like they had reached the 2 millionth occurrence of something, a cheerful sound effect rang, followed by a brief celebration. Such milestones celebrated throughout today’s program included Donnie’s 2 millionth “me and my buddy Kevin” story, Todd’s 2 millionth weather discussion, Tyler’s 2 millionth Pennsylvania reference, Brian’s 2 millionth dead kid story, Travis’s 2 millionth blind, Catholic support session, and many, many more.

Today is Donnie’s 30^th birthday and that means the guys received an in studio visit from their musicologist/lawyer friend Michael (A.K.A. the Grim Reaper). Michael dropped off a gift and then hung out with the guys, joining in on the topics of the day. Todd and Tyler summed up 30-years of Donnie thus far by breaking down the life history of our favorite neck producer. It was quite an entertaining, often sad “Behind the Donnie” episode and after hearing it, I can say in all honestly say that I’m glad I’m me.

Brian came in and did the news and entertainment reports today. As mentioned earlier, the guys had been discussing the Lutheran minister busted for twisting off in the park with an undercover cop. Somehow, and honestly I don’t know how they got there, Todd and Tyler began to discuss what the largest “circle jerk” in history was. Not having a Guinness Book of World Records on hand, they concluded that it was probably somewhere around 80. Figuring they could beat that by getting 92 listeners to volunteer, the guys deemed 2pm on Saturday at Lake Zorinsky the time and place they would break the record. Donnie created a hilarious sound effect of what the world’s largest “circle jerk” would sound like and throughout the reminder of the show the audio was played. Each time, I laughed so hard that Brian’s ass bled.

Coach Mike Hastings came by the studio today and hung out for a while with TnT. He joined in on the topics of the day and talked quite a bit about a variety of hockey stuff with TnT. The Lancers are playing Sioux City this Friday at 7:05pm as they strive for the Clark Cup. Stop on out and see the Lancers in action at Aksarben before they bulldoze that s-bomb hole into the ground.

The guys spent some time this morning reading and discussing an e-mail list called “The Man Code”. Normally Tyler doesn’t like such e-mails but he seemed to enjoy this one and shared it with the listeners. Basically, the list was full of things buddies can and can not do to each other, like don’t nail your buddy’s ex unless he gives you permission and make at least one weak attempt to stop your friend from cheating on his woman in order to cover your own ass later. There were quite a few funny things on the list, most of which seemed to be plain guy common sense.

The list spawned a variety of calls including tales of people getting hooked up by their buddy’s girlfriends; some worked out while others didn’t. Determining the father of twins when the momma was a whore bag was also discussed in detail after a few of the callers checked in with such stories. Later stories of dating and having sex with a pregnant woman who is showing began to poor in. It was during one of those discussions that Brian uttered probably the dumbest thing in the history of time. Poor mow boy asked the guys whether a woman who is already pregnant (say, 6 months if I recall) can get pregnant again, on top of her current pregnancy. Yes, that set off the alarms as everyone celebrated the 2 millionth stupid thing Brian has said.

Tony Lewellen from the Funny Bone came by this morning and spent a couple of hours with the guys. He was in studio a few weeks ago as Tony Tone, a fake name, and Todd and Tyler gave him severe crap for his name change when he rejoined the show this morning. From there, Tony hung out with the guys, joined in on the topics of the day, and did a variety of dead-on impressions including Ronald Regan, Shaq, Bill Cosby, Marge Simpson, and more. You can catch Tony at the Funny Bone all weekend. Call 493-8036 to make your reservations.

Before wrapping up their show today, the guys read over an e-mail from a listener who said that he felt bad because Todd and Tyler bash on nearly everything he takes part in. The guy said he is a theater geek, he drives racecars and one other thing that they’ve been bashing on lately (a pen exploded on my notes where the 3^rd item was written and I can’t remember it off the top of my head). Anyway, they thought it was pretty funny that even though they bash everything the guy enjoys, he still listens to the show.

To close their program, Todd and Tyler gave the details of their golf tournament again. It is going to be held at Stone Creek on Friday, May 17th. The cost to attend is $75 per person and for that, you'll get a round of golf, a meal before and after the tourney, a sleeve of balls, a Todd and Tyler golf towel, and a white Polo shirt with the red, white, and blue Z-92 logo. Happy that the fine folks at Stone Creek invited them back for a second year, the guys promised to keep Donnie in line again in order to avoid any property damage to the course. Registration forms can be picked up at either of the two Nebraska Golf Discount locations (108th and Dodge in Old Mill or at 145th and Center). Once you've picked up your form and filled it out, return it and your entry fee to the Z-92 studios right off of 108th and L Street. The tournament will fill up fast so get registered today!

The guys are scheduled to have several guests on tomorrow’s show. Kevin Downey, Jr. from the Funny Bone will be swinging by as will Creighton Blue Jay baseball coach Jack Daum. The guys are also going to speak with a “48 Hours” representative Tony Roberts(?). It should be a great show so make sure not to miss it.

That’s all for the Thursday update. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay and rejoin TnT tomorrow at 5:30am as they wrap up yet another week of outstanding radio programming. Thanks for watching. Good night. –Corby-