Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Wednesday 5-29-02

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning by discussing a variety of topics. They played a Kinks song prior to hitting the air, inspired by an old SNL they saw on E!, and talked about E!’s acquisition of the old SNLs from Comedy Central. From there, they talked about how it rained yet again last night and what the rain is doing to their lawn boy / news chick. Then they moved on to read a ‘’Barely A Pulse’’ article written by someone upset at the teacher who turned in Father Jizzer and everyone else for bashing the Arch Bishop. TnT seemed amused that there is finally someone gutsy enough or stupid enough to back the pedophile father and the church’s cover-up surrounding him.

Also early on, Brian came in and did the news while everyone discussed the stories of the day. During the newscast Brian mentioned the Lincoln man who was busted for driving through a bunch of churches before ending up on the capital lawn the other day. According to reports, the man believed that 84^th Street in Lincoln is somehow brainwashing everyone. When TnT asked how the guy came to that conclusion, they received some calls from Lincoln listeners who filled them in. The callers stated that 84^th Street in Lincoln is jam packed full of churches, one guy calling the road ‘’just weird’’.

Todd and Tyler fired up their connection to Dr. Ed in Tyler, Texas today. After some initial trouble, their system worked out the technical glitches and they were connected to everyone’s favorite Doc. Before opening the phone lines to listeners with questions, the guys played a bit of catch-up with Dr. Ed. They also filled him in on their ‘’Guys Who Know Todd and Tyler Celebrity Boxing’’ idea and got the Doc’s opinion on who would win each match. The medically related questions then poured in from TnT listeners on topics such as drug tolerance, lock jaw, vaccine shortages, the damage holding in a good pooh might do to you, foreign vaginas and pussy ejaculates (that’s the sticky stuff in blisters, not the pie form of the word), how much weight a scrotum can hold, steroids and nut shrinkage, and many more interesting things. Dr. Ed will be back on the air in about two weeks so if you didn’t get the chance to call today, save your medical questions until then.

Larry the Cable Guy checked in this morning with a commentary on the phone ringing while he’s on the toilet. It was rather odd. One might think Larry’s the type of guy who thought that the Thesaurus was something that became extinct a couple of million years ago but Larry’s ability to come up with alternate words and phrases for things like turds and retards never ceases to amaze me. We’ll hear more from Larry as the week progresses so stay tuned.

TnT spoke to their comedian friend Carl Banks today. He’s coming to town to perform at the Funny Bone tonight through the weekend and said that if you call to make reservations for tonight’s show, mention you heard him on the Todd and Tyler show and you’ll get in for $1. Carl recently sent the guys a videotape of some of the TV shows and movies he’s been in so they all spent a little time talking about that. TnT then filled Carl in on what will be taking place in studio on Friday while Carl is visiting, the ‘’What Would You Do’’ contest. Everyone seemed to cringe at the mention of the contestant who will be hanging 10 vice grip pliers from his scrotum piercing. You can catch Carl at the Bone all weekend by calling 493-8036 and keep in mind that he will be joining the guys in studio Friday so make sure not to miss that.

Ted Nugent phoned the guys this morning. Within the first minute or so of his phone call, he dropped the N-bomb twice. Once could argue that it was in context to a story, but then again, it’s the freaking N-bomb, unnecessary in any circumstance. Anyway, the reason for his call seemed to center around some comments he recently made about Ozzy Osbourne and the MTV show about his life. As TnT discussed the situation with him, Ted repeatedly mentioned that he thinks Ozzy is musically talented but kept pointing out that he felt the show about Ozzy is ‘’sad’’ and ‘’a way for the media to exploit a train wreck’’, (paraphrasing only slightly for continuity purposes). Todd and Tyler both seemed to agree that the show is rather sad because of how whacked Ozzy is but they both said that they enjoy the show nonetheless.

After Nugent finished his spin control rant about Ozzy, the gang moved on to discuss a few other things going on with Ted. He’s got a new book out, mentioned that he’s releasing a new CD in July and said that there is still the possibility of the Damned Yankees getting back together for another album. All in all, to everyone’s delight, Todd and Tyler did a great job of keeping Ted from bringing their show to a grinding halt. By the way, you can catch Nugent on the O’Reilly Factor on Fox News tonight.

Todd and Tyler announced the long awaited return of the Eddy’s Conoco Todd and Tyler refillable cups! On Friday between 11am and 1pm, they will be at the Eddy’s Conoco station on Ida Street, just off of the Irvington exit. While the promotion continues this summer, the TnT cups will be refillable for only 25 cents! Also joining the guys on Friday will be Roz and all three of the Harley’s she’s giving away for charity this summer. The guys hope to see you at Eddy’s Conoco Friday.

The last hour of this morning’s show was devoted to a very entertaining entertainment report. During Brian’s report, whenever any location was mentioned, regardless of where on the planet they were talking about, a correlation to its distance from the old Pinky’s was made. The guys also had a lengthy conversation about the history of ‘’The Facts of Life’’ and the lyrics to some of Toto’s songs before breaking into the Z Gees and singing some Asia. Donnie and Brian ran some smack at each other in preparation for their upcoming boxing match and to close the show, TnT mentioned an article from a St. Louis newspaper that talked about their bashing of Crouch. I’m sure that’ll be brought up again tomorrow early in the program so tune in.

That’s it for the update today. You can catch the 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show tonight at 10pm on Z-92. Rejoin TnT tomorrow at 5:30am for their next program. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-