Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Tuesday 7-16-02

The show started off this morning with Tyler in a slightly crabby mood. He said he awoke 8 times last night to hit the restroom so he was a little tired. To further enhance the crabbiness, TnT mentioned that their favorite football team, the Beef lost last night. On top of that, the World Herald was a little late in getting to the studio so the guys had no time to read the paper before getting on the air. In addition, the guys received an e-mail from someone who was mad at them for doing the wedding announcement segment during the entertainment report yesterday. TnT read the guy’s email, yelled at him for using a show-related name for his address (edutah@hotmail.com), and then just to spite the guy, they replayed a clip from yesterday’s show that included the world’s best wedding announcement. After that, the mood of crabbiness seemed to go away and the guys put on one hell of a funny show, as usual.

Early on, TnT spent a little time discussing jingoism. The term came up after a mention of a song performed by a country music singer named Toby Keith. He put together some sort of patriotic post-9-11 song, which was referred to as jingoistic. Donnie grabbed a big dictionary and brought it into the studio. I say big dictionary for three reasons. A) It was. B) Donnie called the dictionary ‘’a huge book.’’ C) Brian said the dictionary was very big and likely to be found in a library. Humorously, though, while Brian tried to spit out the phrase, ‘’That’s a big dictionary. It’s as big as the ones in a library,’’ he stopped himself much like Tyler did when saying the word ‘’country’’ a few months back. Consequently, TnT now have Brian on tape saying, ‘’That’s a big dick.’’

After discussing the meaning of ‘’jingoistic’’ the guys got around to playing a little bit of the country song. It was utterly horrible. To TnT, it sounded like the lyrics could have been written by a 12-year-old. The music accompanying it was of poor audio quality too, as well as poor creative quality (it was the typical twang of neck music). The guys took a few phone calls from listeners on the song, pointing out all the while that they don’t disagree with the meaning behind the tune; they just thought the song sucked. As the conversation continued, the guys spent a little time talking about people who dress up like cowboys. TnT don’t understand the look and think it’s rather stupid. A few calls came in related to women who are either turned off by or attracted to hat wearing, belt buckle wielding pseudo-cowboys. The term ‘’Buckle Bunny’’ was introduced into the Todd and Tyler vernacular at that point in the show.

Gene from the Brass Grille, 1207 Harney, came by and hung out with TnT for a bit. Gene joined in on the topics of the day and discussed a little horse racing with TnT. Later, James the Giant Peach came in and told TnT about how things are going with his new 1-week-old baby daughter. He talked about all the advice he’s been getting and how most of it is crap. During the discussion, Donnie phoned in as both Gene’s mom and the Peach’s mom. Because both men are East Coast Bastards, Donnie selected the ‘’Sylvester Stallone living in Brooklyn’’ voice from his repertoire and utilized that as he took on the roll of the guys’ mothers. Somehow Donnie’s call deteriorated to Gene and Peach’s moms knocking it out with Tyler’s fiancé. At that point, TnT thought it would be a good time to switch gears completely.

Playboy recently released a ‘’Women of Enron’’ issue. Neither Todd nor Tyler had seen it yet and wondered how hot the ladies featured were. Midget Brian showed up with the magazine and gave them a peak. As the discussed Playboy’s concept of featuring women from defunct organizations, TnT put an Omaha angle on it. They wondered if they could round up some women who used to work for companies that locally have gone out of business and create their own ‘’Women of this-or-that’’ for their web site. TnT tossed around a few ideas of companies they could feature and they took quite a few phone calls from listeners with their own suggestions. Some of the funniest included, ‘’Women of Vickers’’, ‘’Women of Hinky Dinky’’, and ‘’Women of the Center Street K-Mart.’’ Perhaps the idea will grow over time and you might see the Todd and Tyler Women of the 108^th & L Street Hardee’s on the web site soon!

Travis came in with a sports report. As he began, a synapse in his brain must have fired off at a funny time because out of nowhere, Travis proclaimed to Tyler, ‘’You know, your teeth are beautiful.’’ It was kind of creepy. He then went into his sports report and concluded with his For What It’s Worth from last night’s 10pm newscast on Channel 3. He covered the approaching football season, the ‘’celebrity justice’’ of the Iverson story, and his boxing match with Iowa’s republican gubernatorial candidate that took place on Sunday. If you would like to comment on Trav’s For What It’s Worth, you can leave him a voice mail at 593-2706 or e-mail him at travis@km3.com.

TnT spoke to NFL Hall Of Famer, Jan Stenerud. He became famous for being one of the earliest soccer-style kickers in the NFL. He’s in town putting on a kicking camp for kids and spoke to TnT this morning about his career. Jan told the guys about how he was more or less accidentally discovered during his junior year at Montana State. He was hanging out at the football field messing around with some of the players when he was noticed by the coaches who, the following year, offered him a spot on the team. From there, his career took off in the NFL as he was taken in the 3^rd round of the NFL red shirt draft. He played for the Chiefs for a long time and finished up his career with the Vikings in ’85. It was a very interesting interview and Jan seemed like a super cool guy. If you missed the interview, you can catch it tonight during the 10pm 3^rd Shift Replay or tune in on Saturday morning for the Best Of, as it will most likely be included in that show.

Todd and Tyler also spoke to the executive co-producer of TBS’s ‘’Ripley’s Believe It Or Not’’, Dennis Lortz. There are new episodes starting up that will begin tomorrow night at 7pm on TBS. The guys discussed how the show finds all of the freakish things and people that make up the program and Dennis also shared some examples of the types of things we will be seeing in upcoming episodes. He also discussed the various limits the show has when choosing subject matter. For the most part, there isn’t much on sexual freaks but Dennis did tell TnT about one sexually related story. A man in Russia had penis cancer and had to get his throck cut off. The doctors then cut off the man’s middle finger, thickened it up, hollowed it out and attached that to where his throck is supposed to be. He satisfies both of his girlfriends. Dennis was pretty cool and seemed to play along extremely well with TnT.

After their conversation with the Ripley’s guy, TnT continued talking about the finger throck story. In one of the funniest moments of this morning’s show, Tyler said, ‘’I’d put all 5 fingers down there. That way I can play with my own balls.’’

Towards the end of the show, Brian returned to the studio with his entertainment report. With Todd and Tyler recently putting and end to Brian’s dead baby kicker stories, Brian found himself searching for something to fill a little e-news time. He selected a story about creating a movie where two movie monsters from other films would face off. He thought it might spark some creative discussion from TnT as well as some phone calls but as he found out, he was drastically wrong. TnT said that they really don’t get into monster movies and with the exception of knowing some of the obvious monsters, they didn’t have much more to contribute to Brian’s idea of a topic. Even the phone callers who checked in didn’t offer any more help. The few calls that did come in all seemed to be coming from either a comic book shop or the caller’s mom’s basements. For the most part, the Aliens Vs. Predator idea seemed to dominate.

Following Brian’s bad e-news filler about movie monsters, Todd and Tyler got into a discussion about a happier subject, sodomy. The guys spent some time debating whether an e-news story done by Brian should have had the term sodomy used within it because the story involved a woman and a teenaged boy. There wasn’t any funky butt stuff going on and they were both heterosexual. The guys once again went to the ‘’big book’’, as Donnie referred to it, and got the technical definition from the dictionary. They also took a few phone calls on sodomy and the laws surrounding it. The guys determined their official definition for sodomy would be, ‘’Anything outside the human vagina.’’ The conversation was much funnier than I can express here but to give you an idea, laughs abound when ‘’Your Sodomy Rights Law Firm’’ was mentioned. I strongly suggest you catch the 3^rd Shift Replay tonight at 10pm for the sodomy segment. It was hilarious.

To wrap up their show, TnT spent a little time discussing wedding rings. Todd finally picked his up, while Brian recently removed his. They discussed some of the excuses guys use for not wearing their rings and came to the conclusion that if a man isn’t wearing his ring, it’s for one of two reasons. He’s either in a dangerous job where a wedding ring could get caught in a machine or something or more likely, the guy doesn’t wear the ring because he wants to snake on women. They got some phone calls from listeners who wanted to talk about the subject as well. Perhaps they’ll continue the wedding ring discussion during the early portion of tomorrow’s show.

Speaking of tomorrow, the guys are scheduled to speak with a couple of guys from Foreigner, J Medicine Hat will be joining TnT in studio, and TnT will once again fire up their Mexican Connection to Dr. Ed’s basement and spend a few hours saving their listeners their co-pays. It should be another stellar show so make sure to join the guys at 5:30am tomorrow morning. Thanks for watching. Good night. –Corby-