Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Monday 7-22-02

The Todd and Tyler show began this morning with a warning from Todd. Due to some odd physical abnormality, Todd’s body produces more earwax than it should and this morning, he was nearly completely deaf in his right ear. Consequently, he felt it necessary to warn Tyler, as well as the audience, of this problem just in case he started yelling at any point in this morning’s show. After his announcement, the guys got a call from a female listener who told Todd of a method to get rid of the extra earwax called ‘’candling’’. She described the procedure, which basically sounded like she would put a funnel in Todd’s ear and stick a lit candle down inside of it. Todd sounded somewhat curious about having his ear ‘’candled’’ but after that initial phone call and Donnie’s offer to hold a lighter up to Todd’s head and just melt the wax out, the conversation about Todd’s earwax problem ended.

On Saturday Todd and Tyler went out to the Tim O’Neill Motor and Auto Sports World mud bog event and had an outstanding time. Photos from the event will be posted as soon as I complete today’s update. The guys also went out to the Johnny for the Royals game. They were supposed to hang out on the Coors Light Party Deck but when they arrived, they ran into some problems. For some reason, the beer ran out after the first inning and the food was packed up and moved out before the end of the second. ‘’At least they got the ‘deck’ part right,’’ someone said. Also, Matt Wallace and his band of brown guys were supposed to perform out on the Party Deck but someone within the Royals organization shut down that idea, claiming it would be too hot for the band to play.

Even though TnT had nothing to do with the lack of beer, food, and music nor the bad attitudes of the employees who were supposed to be working the event, Todd and Tyler seemed to feel responsible for the way the event turned out because their name was attached to it. TnT apologized to everyone who attended the event many times throughout this morning’s show. It was quite clear that they were very disappointed in the Royals organization and a few times, they referenced that the next time they plan on going to the Johnny would be during next year’s College World Series.

Brian came in with the news early in today’s show. After a story about a man who is attempting to open up a Peony Park-like area out west, the guys discussed the slow pace the city of Omaha seems to take on everything. TnT explained that the reason places like Peony Park and Aksarben don’t exist anymore is because no one used them when they were here. Along the same lines, the guys talked about the Old Market-style setting Millard is planning to do once Millard Lumber moves shop. Of course, the plans for that say the concept won’t be completed until 2012. Similarly, TnT discussed how a few business owners near the 114^th and Dodge Street area have shut down the Expressway idea because it may have hurt their drive-by business. I’m beginning to think the new slogan for this town should be, ‘’Omaha. Where it’s 1965 every day.’’

Other topics of conversation that sprouted up during and after Brian’s newscast included the beef scare in the Midwest thanks to some E. Coli tainted hamburger. By some, I mean about 18 million pounds of it. Following that, Donnie told TnT about buying some Wal-Mart steaks that he later found out were ‘’simulated meat filets’’. Tasty. The terribly oppressive heat that made the weekend nearly unbearable was also discussed before TnT spent some time talking about the local TV newscasts and how the lack of things going on lately has turned every station’s news into worthless television.

Todd and Tyler spent a great deal of time discussing the Thrillard in Millard that is taking place at McCormack’s on Saturday at 7pm. Tickets for the event can be obtained at the door for just $5. James the Giant Peach joined TnT in studio to talk about the fights.

During his visit with the guys, the gang discussed the smack Big Pussy and some of the younger Z staff have been running regarding the Peach Vs. Pussy battle. The guys tried to figure out what might have occurred in the past between Pussy and Peach that would have caused Pussy to take the fight so seriously but couldn’t really come up with anything. The guys phoned Pussy at home to get his take on the upcoming boxing match and when he got on the phone, his smack didn’t seem to be nearly as strong as what everyone was making it out to be. Pussy seemed to back peddle a little bit.

As they continued their conversation, TnT mentioned that most of the younger staff members believe that Pussy is going to juice Peach, basing their opinions on the fact that Peach is a bit older. TnT said that they disagree with the younger Z staff members and think that just because Peach is a bit older, that doesn’t necessarily mean that Pussy will have the upper hand in the match. In fact, Peach told TnT about some of the fights he’s been in before and how his previous fighting experience will play a big part in his battle with the Pussy, who’s only previous fight was with a tuba that had attempted to trap his fingers.

Also related to the upcoming Thrillard in Millard, Donnie poked a little fun at the emaciated Brian. Had he poked any harder, his hand may have went straight through the skin-and-bones news guy. Poor Brian, who’s weight was significantly higher when the idea for the inter-show boxing matches came up, has lost so much weight due to things in his personal life that he’s now drastically underweight and really doesn’t stand much of a chance against the much bigger Donnie. Todd and Tyler also spoke to Chris Eggert of Channel 3 this morning. Chris is going to take on the 42 sports guy, Pete Thompson. Even though Pete is much bigger, everyone seems to think that Chris will thump him thanks to Travis’s previous comments about how Pete is the laziest guy Trav knows.

Speaking of Travis, he came in this morning with a sports report. Before he began, the guys asked him about his weekend. Travis said he spoke at a Catholic School fundraiser that was designed to help raise money for the schools to afford a staffed weight trainer for the students. Donnie came to the microphone and yelled at Travis for a bit, stating that he felt there were better things to raise money for, ‘’like books’’. Trav’s hatred for Donnie emerged, once again, and he retaliated with several verbal body blows about Donnie’s intelligence. Todd and Tyler actually seemed to agree with Donnie’s idea. Do catholic schools really need to put on a fundraiser so they can afford to pay a weight trainer? They came to the conclusion that the schools justified the concept by saying, ‘’We’ve got to build little Huskers’’

There were a couple of concerts over the weekend that TnT were curious about. They opened up the phone lines and took calls from listeners who had attended either the Comstock event or the Foreigner show at the boats. Several listeners phoned in to tell about the events. TnT seemed astonished that there were actually people camping out at Comstock in the terrible heat and talked to a few of them about how they survived. Most seemed to just drink themselves to sleep. They also got a call or two about the Foreigner show at the boats. Their thoughts about how the boats had given tickets to the show to old casino junkies were confirmed when a couple of the callers said the first few rows were empty.

The guys spoke to Kevin DuBrow of Quiet Riot this morning. Immediately into the conversation, Todd and Tyler asked Kevin about the rumors regarding their absence from last year’s Z-Bash. As we’ve all heard, it was believed that Quiet Riot and David Lee Roth had some sort of disagreement and that’s what caused Quiet Riot to drop out of last year’s show. Kevin squashed those rumors this morning by stating that he’s actually friends with Roth and has partied with him. TnT, along with DuBrow, speculated that agent weasels most likely started the rumors. From there, DuBrow talked to TnT about his old radio job for a bit. He shared a story about getting a Diekman from some strippers while he was on the air doing a ‘’cook me breakfast’’ bit years ago. He also spent some time talking to TnT about the band’s history and some of the things he doesn’t like about the record industry. It was a very interesting conversation that you can catch tonight during the 3^rd Shift Replay and perhaps on a Saturday ‘’Best Of’’ in the near future.

Towards the end of the show, Brian came in with an entertainment report. During the report, something was said that sparked Todd to bring up a story about his buddy Charlie from Yutan, who called in with the details. Todd said that while at the bar in town, someone came up with the idea of marking off each mile on a map of Saunders county and selling the sections to raise money for a charity. Then, once all the slots were sold, they would have Charlie hit the road and take a poop somewhere inside the county. The person who bought the mile marker where Charlie #2ed would win a prize. Much like the fair favorite, ‘’Which square will the cow crap on’’ game.

Well, some people in Yutan didn’t like the idea of Charlie pooping in public and shut down the contest after 300 of 700 squares had been sold. It was a very funny, yet incredibly strange tale. Out of that story, a new term was introduced to the Todd and Tyler vernacular. ‘’Turd Murderer.’’ The new euphemism for butt sex and/or gay men will undoubtedly be forever engrained in the minds of Todd and Tyler listeners.

Well, that’s it for the Monday update. If you missed today’s show, you can catch the 3^rd Shift Replay tonight at 10pm. Make sure to rejoin TnT tomorrow at 5:30am for the Tuesday edition of their show. It should be a lot of fun so please join them. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-