Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Monday 8-26-02

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning by talking about their weekends. They drank nearly every night since last Friday so they were a bit tired when they got in this morning. On top of being a little tired, the guys had to deal with a Husker fan hate e-mail right off the bat today. The content of the e-mailer’s letter was exactly what one might expect from a Husker fan that hates TnT. ‘’The Huskers kicked ass, you guys suck. Go Huskers. Out!’’ After battling through the spelling and punctuation errors in the e-mail, TnT moved on to discuss the actual game itself. They pointed out several problems that they saw with this year’s team, including how the offensive line nearly let Lord get killed. Speaking of Lord, TnT commented on how Jamal Lord’s mother is now the new face of the Huskers, as she was featured on TV throughout Saturday night’s game. Donnie phoned in as Mrs. Lord and among other things, commented on her shiny gold tooth. Directly afterwards, one of TnT’s brotha listeners phoned in to slam Donnie for turning Mrs. Lord into Aunt Jamima. It was hilarious.

After the initial Husker talk, the guys moved on to talk about some of the other football games that took place over the weekend. Todd took his kids to Worlds Of Fun over the weekend, dubbed ‘’Worlds Of Cash’’ by Todd due to the massive wallet drainage that he encountered. While in KC, they went to Arrowhead Stadium to watch Florida State take on Iowa State. Todd said that there were several Husker fans in the crowd, one listening to the Huskers on the radio and another wearing his Crouch jersey. Todd said he was a bit torn by this. First of all, he was glad to see some Husker fans expanding their football-watching repertoire but he also said that if you are watching such a good game as the Iowa State Vs. Florida State game turned out to be, why would you listen to the Husker radio broadcast? Furthermore, if you are going to a game like that, why wear your Crouch jersey?

Brian, without his cist, came in this morning with a news report. Before he dove into it, he talked with TnT about having his cist removed from his back on Friday afternoon. He said that the doctor gave him a local anesthetic to dull the pain and then cut a football shaped hole in his skin above the cist. Brian said the doctor told him that many cists like his just pop out once the incision is made, much like a marble, but due to the consistency of Brian’s particular malformation, it had to be dug out in pieces. The process took nearly 40 minutes to complete and at one point, Brian had to ask the doctor to take a momentary break because BW was feeling queasy. He actually brought the cist in to work with him today and showed TnT. They seemed quit disgusted by the sight of it. Before carrying on with his newscast, Brian reported that the whole left by the incision required 17 stitches, later amended to 22 stitches, so we’re not really sure how well the doc sewed up BW.

During the newscast, Brian read a story on the West Nile Virus. Donnie, as the West Nile Virus mosquito, lingered around the studio for a while making buzzing noises. Initially it was rather annoying but it turned out to be incredibly funny. Tyler fired up his Michael Winslow sound effects box and began firing off gunshot noises at the mosquito. After each, the mosquito would pause, letting us believe it was dead, before coming back to life a few seconds later. After Tyler went through all of his gunshot sound effects, he brought out the cannon. That seemed to blow the mosquito out of the studio but the nasty little critter began calling in. Luckily, as Todd pointed out, everyone could avoid being infected by the West Nile Virus if they just hung up on every mosquito that phones them. Everyone seemed in agreement that this entire segment was pretty stupid but they, along with myself as a listener, still found it to be uproariously funny.

TnT mentioned last week that they wouldn’t mind hanging out with any of the UNL hotties featured in the latest issue of Playboy magazine featuring the girls of the Big 12 athletic conference. The supposed manager for Cooper Dawn, one of the girls, left the gang a voice mail message and said he could arrange an interview but the station would have to pay some cash for it. TnT found that incredibly amusing because over the course of their career, they’ve spoken to many, many famous people and all were much more famous that the naked UNL chick in Playboy and none of them had ever attempted to charge the morning show for an interview. After discussing that, TnT decided that they’d just leave Cooper Dawn’s photo on page 87 stuck to page 88 and focus their adoration to any of the other women featured in the magazine, such as their new favorite, Chase Alexander.

Larry the Cable Guy checked in this morning. Before he began, Cable Smoker phoned in and interrupted the phone call. As Cable Smoker went into a commentary, the real Cable Guy freaked out and yelled something to the effect of, ‘’Hey, that’s a commentary from my web site, you sum’bitch!’’ Everyone broke into laughter, finding Larry’s reaction to Donnie’s Cable Smoker using real Cable Guy material very funny. Eventually Cable Guy went into a commentary about family trees, priests, and scrotums being caught in zippers. There’ll be more from Cable Guy as the week progresses. Perhaps he’ll be a bit more streamlined in his thinking the next time he phones in.

Brian came in with the e-news early this morning. Before he got into it, though, Sabrina Matthews from the Funny Bone rejoined TnT in studio. There is an all gay comedian show at the Funny Bone tonight (straight people are welcomed to come and see the show) and Sabrina wanted to make one more attempt to find a Drag King in the Todd and Tyler listening audience. That didn’t work out for her but it didn’t matter because Sabrina was able to track down a Drag Queen as backup while at the Max over the weekend. You can call the Bone Phone at 493-8036 for reservations to see Sabrina on her last night in town.

Todd and Tyler spoke to former mayor of New York City, Ed Koch. He used to be on ‘’People’s Court’’ but now works in a big law firm in NYC. When asked whether he missed doing the TV show, Koch’s response was, ‘’not for one second.’’ TnT then went on to ask Ed about what is planned for September 11^th in NYC this year and what sort of memorials have been discussed. Koch then went into a 10-minute incoherent rant. When he stopped for a breather, Tyler said, ‘’We’re speaking with former New York City mayor Ed Koch,’’ as the guys normally do during an interview to help keep their audience up to speed. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately depending on the way you look at it, Koch took Tyler’s brief pause as his cue to say goodbye and hang up. It was hilarious. TnT then spent a little time discussing the interview and how loopy Koch seems to be getting in his old age.

Over the weekend, some of Tyler’s friends through him and Becky a couples baby shower at the Thomasville lounge. As some of you may know, the lounge for Thomasville is in the same building as a bar, basically across the hallway. During the shower, as Tyler and Becky’s friends and family sat talking, some drunks from the bar across the hall began to meander into the lounge after hearing that Todd and Tyler were in there.

James the Giant Peach came into the studio to talk about the situation, because during the shower, he was the one responsible for getting the drunks to leave. Peach described how he was able to kick the drunk guys out, pointing out that this was a personal party and not a station function. He went on to talk about how he nearly got into a fight with one of the guys who had trouble comprehending that the party was personal and that he wasn’t invited.

Travis came in with sports later in the show. During that time, there was a ton of Husker talk as the gang discussed Saturday’s game and how the team looked. Mrs. Lord checked in again, which even Travis seemed to get a kick out of. Also during the sports report, TnT discussed with Travis the possibility of getting Donnie some press credentials so he could attend the football meetings in Lincoln each week like Travis and the other TV guys in order to ask Solich funky questions such as, ‘’What do you think of the girls of the Big 12?’’ Travis seemed to distance himself from the conversation, fearful that his affiliation with the Todd and Tyler show, particularly Donnie (if he does ask such things) could land him in some trouble with the University. The gang then brainstormed some ideas and talked about the consequences Donnie and/or Travis might face if Donnie does start attending the meetings, pockets full of stupid questions. We’ll keep you up-to-date as this story develops so stay tuned.

Well, that’s it for the Monday update. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s Todd and Tyler show and make sure to rejoin the guys tomorrow morning at 5:30am for the Tuesday program. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-