Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Tuesday 9-3-02

Todd and Tyler began their show this morning by talking about Friday night’s Poison concert in Lincoln. Everyone seemed to have a great time even thought here was no beer being served at the Devaney Center. TnT discussed the lack of beer and found it rather odd considering Nebraska’s liberal alcohol laws. They pointed out their reasons for thinking NE is more liberal when it comes to booze and cited some examples from other states they’ve lived in as comparisons. Continuing their Poison concert discussion, TnT talked about singing with the band and later took a phone call from Lynn Taylor, who watched from the crowd. When Poison performed at the Z-Bash a while ago, Lynn elbow smashed TnT away from Bobby Doll’s microphone during their sing-along so Todd and Tyler gave her a hard time this morning about how much they enjoyed singing with Poison and not having to battle Lynn for microphone position.

Also early in the show, TnT read over a hate e-mail directed towards Travis that centered on his abortion of a pick for Lock of the Week. Travis couldn’t have been any more off if he tried. Several callers checked in to hammer on the Baylor pick and TnT gave Trav a hard time too but saved up most of their venom for when Travis showed up later in the show.

Midget Brian snuck his way into the studio this morning underneath someone’s coffee cup. Imagine if you will a Gumby spread eagle on the underside of a Frisbee and you’ll get the idea. He hung out for most of the show and joined in on the topics of the day. Normally a visit of this nature doesn’t warrant a paragraph of it’s own but the mental image of the Gumby that popped into my head when TnT announced Brian’s arrival was enough to change my mind.

Over the weekend, Todd went on a camping/canoe trip. While out and about in western Nebraska, he picked up a few local papers to peruse. In, I believe, the Grand Island newspaper (or perhaps it was Hastings, I can’t recall) there was an advertisement for a co-host for the morning show of a Grand Island radio station. The guys read the job description and thought it might be funny if they were to apply for the job as a joke. As the conversation continued, TnT began to think that Donnie might actually be able to get the job and if he did, they wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. They then spent some time talking about how Donnie’s qualifications matched the job description and basically seemed to try to convince Donnie to take the job. They put the discussion on hold for the news but returned to it later in the show.

Brian came in with a news report. As he read through the stories, TnT discussed them. The guys seemed to focus the most time on two stories in particular. They had a lengthy discussion about the New York Times allowing gay wedding announcements and mentioned once again that they would be willing to air any gay wedding announcement that is sent to them. They also talked about the attack of the gigantic grasshoppers. One nearly took out Tyler while he rode his bike the other day and another of the frightening creatures attacked BW’s lawn boy in the shorts while the two sat in his truck.

James the Giant Peach joined TnT in studio after the news and shared a story about something that took place prior to the Poison concert the other night. While everyone was getting ready to head into the stadium to see the concert, a 50-something gray-haired lady who inquired about Todd and Tyler approached Peach. Peach said that she seemed nice enough, asking questions about which of the guys was which. Thinking the older lady was harmless Peach lowered his protective barrier around TnT and allowed the lady to approach the guys. Well, it turns out that the woman was the head of the Pro-Life movement in Nebraska and after an article in the paper about her a while ago, TnT had phoned her and left a message on her machine in which they played the ‘’Christmas at the Carharts.’’ Needless to say, she wasn’t very happy with the guys. TnT, along with the help of Peach, quickly got the lady out of their faces before she completely melted down.

Travis came in with the sports report for the morning, which was full of college football information from over the weekend. Todd and Tyler had a lengthy discussion about the state of college football today before they jumped on Travis for his terrible Lock of the Week prediction and Attaboy admitted to really blowing it. The gang also talked about how Funder was suspended from taking part in Saturday’s Husker game. TnT heard some rumors about why he was suspended but went to Travis for clarification. Trav didn’t clear things up, though, fearing that if he were to spread the rumors he has heard, repercussions would rain down upon him like hellfire in Lincoln. It was suspected, however, that perhaps receiving stolen goods might have played a part in the sidelining of Funder. Another caller said it might have had something to do with Funder selling the tickets given to him by the University for his family allegedly could have played a part. Trav promised to find out more when he heads to Lincoln today. Oh yea, Travis also said that Donnie had reached the state of ‘’Dickhood’’ after one of his comments about Trav’s poor Lock of the Week pick. It was rather funny. For What It’s Worth tonight, if ya give a damn, and I’m guessing if you lost $$ on Trav’s Lock, you don’t.

After the sports report, TnT continued discussing the morning show co-host position from the Grand Island newspaper Todd picked up over the weekend. That led the guys to remember a show they did during their first week on the air here in Omaha. Donnie went to the archives and was actually able to find a segment from TnT’s first week on the air here. The segment featured Todd and Tyler playing some of the audition tapes other radio guys had sent Z-92, hoping to land the spot TnT currently hold. The two radio guys, Marathon Man and some tool named Ace, were utterly horrible. Omaha, we should number our lucky fingers that Todd and Tyler got the gig on Z-92 all those years ago and not one of those worthless throwbacks to the ‘50s.

As the show moved on, TnT received an e-mailed request from a guy saying that today is his sister Michelle’s birthday and she’s been listening to the guys since they got to town. He asked TnT if they would call her to wish her a happy birthday. Initially, TnT didn’t seem very interested but they reconsidered after thinking that they could let Donnie practice his cheesy Grand Island radio voice on Michelle. After a few minutes of misdials by Todd, TnT reached Michelle’s mother, then Michelle herself and wished her a happy birthday. Everyone had a grand laugh after hearing both of the ladies on the phone. Each sounded like they’d gargled with a bucket full of gravel, AJAX, and Ten High whiskey after smoking 3 packs before 8am. Needless to say, Rob Zombie’s voice sounds sexier.

BW returned later in the program with the e-news. The gang had a lengthy conversation about the changes being made to McDonald’s french fry oil, which spawned a heated argument between Donnie and Brian. Donnie didn’t think that Brian would be able to tell the difference in the fries once the oil is switched over. Brian the food aficionado disagreed and pointed to the infamous banana experiment performed on the TnT show months ago. During the argument, Tyler pointed out that when he eats Burger King onion rings, his farts smell exactly like onion rings and crap. It was a rather odd peak into the mind and bowel of Tyler but it was still quite funny. That proclamation led into a discussion about exactly how one’s gas bypasses the actual crap inside your colon. Very educational, I must admit.

Brian wrapped up the e-news this morning with a huge list of celebrity birthdays. With the exception of two or three, no one knew any of the famous people. After he concluded, he went on to tell TnT about another haunting experience in his home. From the sounds of it, Brian’s AOL is haunted and ping-pong balls multiply in his home as if magically appearing from thin air! Perhaps it’s time our favorite news chick goes for a little psychological help? Stay tuned for further developments in the Haunting of BW.

Tomorrow Todd and Tyler are going to be joined in studio by comedian/actor Harlan Williams. He’s appearing at the Funny Bone for a special engagement on Wednesday and Thursday night. It should be another interesting visit with Harlan so make sure to tune in at 5:30am. If you missed today’s show, you can catch the 3^rd Shift Replay airing tonight at 10pm on Z-92.

That’s it for the Tuesday update. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-