Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Monday 9-9-02

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning by talking about their weekends. Other than Tyler seeing the piece of crap ‘’Signs’’ movie, the guys spent nearly their entire weekends watching football. Consequently, most of this morning’s talk centered around football. In fact, with the first edition of Monday Night Football taking place tonight, Donnie actually came to work dressed up in some North Bend football gear. TnT pointed out several times during today’s program that anyone attending tonight’s MNF game who happens to wear some football gear would be entered into one of the plethora of contests and giveaways that are taking place all season at Brewsky’s. Both Todd and Tyler, admittedly looking like tools, will also be wearing some football gear out to the MNF gig tonight. Make sure to stop out and see them!

Also early in the show, the guys read a couple of e-mails that had come in over the weekend. One of them was from a Corky Husker fan that went into an anti-abortion rant after whacking off his Huskers. TnT reread the abortion e-mail several times throughout the remainder of the show and poked fun at not only the illogical content of the e-mailer’s rants but also at his spelling errors. Prompted by this e-mail, Todd and Tyler both offered up $1000 and said they’d bet the e-mailer 2 to 1 that the Huskers would not win the National Championship this year as the e-mailer seemed to believe. They prompted the Corky to phone in and accept their bet but that call never came in.

The haunted Brian brought in a news report today. During the news, TnT spent some time talking about the Amish furniture store that burned down and humorously reported that it had already been reconstructed in an ‘’Amish furniture store raising,’’ as the Amish tend to do with barns. There were several other stories discussed as well, including how all of the schools are shutting down because of lack of air conditioning, which TnT didn’t understand no matter how hard Travis (later) tried to explain away. BW then wrapped up the news with an American Asshole points grand slam. His ‘’And finally’’ report this morning was about a man who’s an EMT and was called out to a car accident. When he arrived, he found his dead 16-year-old daughter at the scene of the accident. Even though he scored massive American Asshole points with that story, as the show moved on Donnie continued to rack up Asshole points with countless appearances on the microphone and easily surpassed Brian’s daily total.

Travis came in with a sports report later in the show. Before he began, TnT talked about their new commercial that aired on KM3 over the weekend. They detailed the ‘’Todd and Tyler Z-Bowl 2002’’ commercial and talked about some of the other ones that will be coming to your small screen as this football season moves on. When Travis actually got to his sports report, it was filled with mostly football talk although he did mix things up a bit with some tennis discussion. Everyone seems sick of the Williams Neanderthals and no one really seemed to care about the Sampras Vs. Agassi battle.

After the sports report, Todd and Tyler’s discussion of football continued. They opened up the phone lines and took calls from their listeners who wanted to talk about bad fans. TnT mentioned that there are asshole fans everywhere, including Nebraska, and used their friend Lisa Volenec as the bar to compare irrational, outrageous, freakish fans against. The guys pointed out that Lisa, like many other Husker fans they’ve run into, just cant take the friendly ribbing of non Husker fans. They also can’t stand it when people root for any team other than the Huskers. Several callers echoed TnT’s thoughts with stories from their personal experiences and TnT both gave examples of when they have felt like they couldn’t go out in public because Husker fans would annihilate them if they happened to be cheering for their favorite college teams instead of the Huskers.

The guys received an e-mail from a listener this morning telling them about Shane Osborne, the American hero that landed that plane over China last year. According to the e-mail, the guy’s not the nicest man on the planet. He allegedly got drunk at a bar and spit at someone and later got drunk at another bar where he was an alleged jerk as well. TnT spent some time discussing the allegations and didn’t seem surprised to hear that the guy was allegedly a hammer head. I’m sure the discussion may come up again in the future so stay tuned.

As the show moved on and both Brian and Donnie continued to rack up American Asshole points, TnT received an e-mail from a listener with a valid point. The e-mailer urged TnT to be careful when assigning points to Donnie because there is definitely a difference between being an asshole and just being ‘’a redneck dick.’’ Finding it hard to determine the difference between the two, TnT continued awarding asshole points to Donnie for pretty much everything he said all morning. Donnie seemed to revel in being awarded points and did whatever he could, no matter how outlandish or blatently racist, to flip his proverbial scoreboard.

Brian returned towards the end of today’s show with the e-news. It was, of course, full of more death and destruction than entertainment but that’s what we’ve come to expect from the haunted lawn boy. Also during the e-news, Gene from the Brass Grille at 1207 Harney stopped by and hung out with TnT for a little bit. Since football was the main topic of the day, TnT talked with Gene about how the football season affects his business. From the sounds of it, on a Husker Saturday not many people venture out to the Brass Grille at 1207 Harney so you can probably get into that wonderful restaurant with ease. Keep that in mind, folks. The Brass Grille kicks ass. Before leaving, Gene talked with TnT about a new catering business he’s opening up. The name of it is something like ‘’Come on into my kitchen catering’’ but somehow the guys morphed it into ‘’Aim for my mouth catering,’’ Diekman connotation purposely placed.

Tonight is the first edition of Monday Night Football taking place at Brewsky’s. There are going to be tons of prizes to give away including a Best Buy TV. The bar has excellent food, a ton of TVs, lots of room, and smoke eaters that work. Get there at 7pm and watch the Golden Rods season opener, try to guess the outcome before the end of the 1^st half and you could win some Todd and Tyler Sack Exchange prizes. Listen, all of the MNF details this year have just made my head melt. Get to Brewsky’s off of 156^th and Center before 7pm tonight and Donnie will fill you in on all of the activities and prizes. Don’t forget to wear your football gear!

That’s it for today. I’m exhausted! 3^rd Shift Replay at 10pm. New show tomorrow at 5:30. *sleeping with my chin on one fist and a mouse in the other* -Corby-

PS Golden Rods Gear available by e-mailing mjensen@smallbusinesspoint.com.