Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Thursday 10-24-02

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning by mentioning that the DC area snipers may have been caught. Evidentially, they were arrested while sleeping in a rest stop somewhere in Maryland and the home of one of the guys in Washington state was checked out by police who removed a tree trunk from the yard which may have been used as target practice. The guys then mentioned that tomorrow night is their annual Freaker’s Ball. Tyler’s got a hippy costume picked out and Todd’s headed to Ralston Costume this afternoon to make his costume selection. Neither of the guys seemed all that fired up about this year’s event but will attend and have fun (as always) anyway. They’ll talk a bit more about the Freaker’s Ball on tomorrow’s show.

Brian is headed out to Boomers in Freemont tonight to host a Hollywood Hottie oil wrestling event at 8pm. The gang spent some time talking about that for a bit and mentioned that BW is going to ‘’manage’’ one of the girls. That consists of oiling her up before her match. He seemed excited about that.

BW delivered his newscast after their discussion of tonight’s oil wrestling party. During the news, he mentioned that today is his 4-year wedding anniversary. Even though he’s going through a divorce right now, technically he’s still married so the significance of today held some meaning for him. TnT found humor in the fact that BW’s going to be oiling down a naked hottie on his anniversary. Brian said, ‘’I’ll be knee deep in Crisco.’’ Todd followed it up with, ‘’And that’s just her name.’’ Consequently, jokes about a dancer named Butter Flavored Crisco continued throughout much of today’s show.

While discussing BW’s anniversary, he mentioned that he sang to his soon-to-be ex-wife on their wedding night. The tune was a redneck version of an old Bob Dillon song that Garth Brook remade for the movie, ‘’Hope Floats’’. Obviously any hope Brian has of reconciling his marriage have sunk by now and TnT made sure to point out the irony in that. The gang then read over the lyrics to the song and tried to find it in their CD collection but were unable to come across it.

Travis phoned the guys from Omaha’s airport this morning, as he is headed to Texas to cover Saturday’s Husker game. He complained about the long lines for a bit and then mentioned that he was at BW’s wedding and witnessed him singing to his wife. Trav told TnT that Brian was horrible and admitted that the people who Travis was sitting with that night were taking over-under bets on how long BW’s marriage would last. ‘’He beat the over,’’ said Trav after mentioning that someone at the table asked, ‘’Why I he singing? It’s never going to last.’’

Brian, obviously upset about Trav’s comments, began ripping into him rather harshly. It was hilarious. BW basically told Travis he hoped his plane crashed. A little later in the show, Travis called from the plane. He said he was able to work his way up to first class for free but the plane was stuck at the gate a broken navigational system. Trav told TnT that Brian had jinxed him. BW then continued hammering Travis, solidifying the concept of ‘’The Curse of Brian’’.

Later, Trav called back and said that the flight was cancelled all together and he had to make other arrangements. Following that, later still in the show, Travis phoned in and said he had missed his flight out of Omaha. Several callers checked in to tell Travis how he could get another flight and after he tried one of their suggestions, he phoned TnT back and said he was all fixed up. Unfortunately for Trav, though, he was originally scheduled to land in Houston at 9am this morning. Now, after The Curse of Brian sunk its gritty teeth in, he won't get in until later this evening. Travis did have a great comeback for all of BW’s slams this morning. Travis repeatedly said, ‘’At least I have a wife and kids who love me.’’ It was incredibly harsh but hilarious at the same time.

TnT got another Roger Van update from their listener in the know. The guy told TnT that the America’s Most Wanted crew was in town filming things around the Roger Van flower shop and there is going to be an episode of the program featuring the Roger Van story airing on November 9^th.

After BW finished the news this morning, he read over a list of actual comments heard over the last 20 years at a St. Paul STD clinic. They were all really disturbing but funny as hell. Some of the quotes included, ‘’My last period looked like meat’’, ‘’My balls feel soft and mushy’’, ‘’I got the dripper’’, ‘’I douched with Lysol, feeling a little raw now’’, ‘’There are scabs on my ass, I’m losing my mind’’, and ‘’My pee smells like ham.’’ Later in the show, each of those clips quoted by BW made their way to Tyler’s computer hot button screen and throughout the remainder of the show the clips of Brain's spouting out random STD lines peppered the show with comedy. In fact, I believe some of them were even dubbed BW pickup lines that you might hear tonight at Boomers.

Todd and Tyler gave us a little more clarification on what happened to Donnie. It seems that he has indeed left the show, resigning on Tuesday morning. They didn’t give details of why he left but said that he will be in tomorrow as a guest of the show to talk a little about what’s going on. I hope it’s safe to assume that because he’s being given a chance to come in and say goodbye, there isn’t any bad blood. But then again, in the last few weeks of the show we’ve seen Donnie chalk up dispensability points and he was also named American Asshole. Tune in tomorrow to see what the story is.

The guys spent some time talking about Michael Jordan’s law suit against a girl he used to bang while he was married that is basically charging her with extortion and blackmail. The guys turned the concept of blackmail when relationships go south coupled with the whole cheating angle into a topic for the phones. Many listeners checked in throughout the show to share their stories about freaky things their ex’s did when they parted ways. One guy got his dog stolen only to be returned when his ex figured out that the dog had the same attitude problems as he did. Another caller described the nuts actions of his ex girlfriend (who gave a good Diekman) that threatened to kill herself after their breakup. There were a few stories of guys who were suckered into having sex with minors for the purpose of blackmailing them. One guy was charged $100 a month to continue sleeping with a younger girl in order for her not to turn him in. In one of the stranger calls of the day, a guy said that his ex-girlfriend stole away two of his following girlfriends from him and slept with them both to get her revenge.

Jessica Dol joined the guys in studio and shared a couple of her own relationship horror stories. They didn’t exactly relate to the concept of their topic but her tales were interesting nonetheless. She talked about breaking up with a guy because he smelled like salsa. That guy ended up going crazy and scaled the walls of her apartment to get to her balcony on the 2^nd floor. The police were called. Speaking of police, she went on to talk about a relationship she had with a cop that at one time pulled a gun on her when she woke him up from a slumber. He was dumped as well.

While they were on the subject of Jessica’s love life, Slave Boy Jeremy was mentioned. To their surprise, Jessica and Jeremy both talked rather openly about the relationship they had earlier this year. The two talked about how they handled the breakup and how they are dealing with working together on a daily basis without one or the other freaking out all the time. TnT credited both Jessica and Jeremy for being able to work together after a breakup, stating that neither of them could do it.

Terry Wolski from the Funny Bone joined the guys for a while today. With all the talk about marriages, breakups, and blackmail, he told TnT about his 5-year marriage. He’s been single again for another 5 years and said he’s just banging road pie now with nothing serious in the works. He also joined in on the other topics of the morning and seemed to enjoy his time with Todd and Tyler. You can catch him at the Bone all week by phoning 493-8036 for reservations.

BW returned later in the show with the entertainment report. Beforehand, he covered Trav’s sports but there really wasn’t anything drastically interesting in the world of sports that needs repeating here. Anyway, the e-news went on while TnT discussed each story and continued talking about blackmail and relationships. The guys then concluded their show by mentioning that they’ll be speaking to a guy from ‘’48 Hours’’ tomorrow, Donnie will join them for a little bit, and Funny Bone headliner RJ Brow will also be stopping by. TnT also mentioned that due to some funky things going on with the FCC and other ‘’legal crap’’ their internet broadcasts of their show have had to come to an end. I’m sure as soon as things get straightened up in Washington relating to this matter, they’ll be back up on the web for all of you out-of-towners in no time. Until then, feel free to check out these pitiful attempts and recapping each show.

That’s all for the big Thursday update. Check out BW at Boomers tonight as he covers strippers in butter flavored Crisco, tune in to the 10pm 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s Todd and Tyler show and make sure to rejoin the guys tomorrow at 5:30am as they wrap up yet another stellar week of radio excellence. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-