Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Thursday 12-5-02

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning discussing a variety of topics. Tyler mentioned that because the baby is still at the hospital, he’s been sleeping there for the past few nights. He said he likes it because when he gets up, there are actually people awake and walking around, unlike when he gets up at home and the house is dark and quiet. He went on to say that he and Becky will be able to bring home their new baby today. Todd spent a moment or two talking about getting too much sleep last night. He originally planned to go Christmas shopping but opted to have a couple of margaritas instead. After which, he had no desire to bounce around the mall. Due to the margaritas, he crashed out early and missed the news. It didn’t seem to surprise him, though, that he actually hasn’t missed anything going on in the world by sleeping through the local 10pm news broadcasts.

BW joined the guys in studio and told them a funny story related to their interview with the man juice diet porn star from yesterday’s show. BW said that he was talking to a lady friend of his on the phone last night about the interview. They both wanted to get some further details so BW told her she should visit the web site. He couldn’t remember exactly what the address was so he guessed it to be manjuice.com. When the lady he was speaking to pulled up the web site, BW said he heard her groan in discomfort. Evidentially, manjuice.com is a gay web site. After realizing the error, BW hit yesterday’s update and got the actual web address, manjuicediet.com.

Out of curiosity, TnT pulled up manjuice.com and spent some time talking about some of the photos that were featured on the gay porn site. One in particular seemed to spark their interest, as what was pictured in the photo is something they’ve never seen before, a man getting a Diekman with his throck pulled through the pee hole in his underwear. After the news, a discussion about that method of oral love was discussed, which I’ll elaborate further on in a moment.

BW also talked about his trip out to the Alpine Inn last night for dinner. He took a group of people with him and didn’t have to pay for any of it because the woman who runs the restaurant, ‘’Grandma’’ as she’s called, heard someone from the show was coming last night and decided to comp BW’s party. Brian wanted to thank her in person but the people at the restaurant led him to believe that she wasn’t there, which seemed really odd to BW for some reason. He began to think that ‘’Grandma’’ might be a mom-like character from ‘’Psycho’’ or, perhaps, ‘’Grandma’’ might actually be ½ grandma and ½ raccoon. I laughed so hard that I’ve now got an ‘’outie’’.

BW got into his newscast after Alpine Inn talk. The gang discussed the porn-like quality of the Abercrombie and Fitch catalog as well as talking of public school’s anti-porn policies. They then talked about misaligned lines on 90^th and Dodge Street, a rash of apartment complex purse snatchings, a Lincoln youth group guy who was busted for allegedly wrestling boys while he wielded a boner, and the gang discussed at length a story about how Nebraska Wesleyan has decided not to put condoms in vending machines on campus. BW then did a terrible story about a cat that was found duct taped to a street sign in Hastings. The gang bantered about ‘’Hastings CSI’’ for a bit, harkening back to the infamous ‘’is it a penis or a cow tit’’ story and then moved on to talk about a crazy Japanese monkey biting locals and incarcerated mob guys smuggling their sperm out of prison. BW attempted to wrap up the news with a story about a baby being eaten by rats but TnT shut him down promptly.

After the news, the guys continued their discussions from earlier in the show about receiving a Diekman through the pee hole of tighty whities. They received a couple of phone calls from listeners who confirmed that they’ve enjoyed the experience before. The guys also brought up the condom talk, as spawned by a BW story. They wondered if kids still carry around condoms in their wallets like they used to do in high school and wondered further whether or not kids still call them rubbers, or if it’s just condoms now. Phone calls poured in from the listeners who shared a wide variety of stories related to rubbers. One girl confirmed that UNL used to sell them at the front desk in the dorms, another guy told about seeing a guy try to buy one from a vending machine but disappointingly got candy instead. An e-mailer checked in with a story about when he was in the Navy, stating that his buddies bought him a fat whore and when he got her undressed, she had a used condom stuck to her ass. TnT found it quite amusing that the e-mailer said he did her anyway.

Todd and Tyler spoke to John Hartman this morning. He’s the older brother of Phil Hartman, the SNL actor and voice of many ‘’Simpsons’’ characters who was shot by his wife back in ’94. (I was on a honeymoon cruise when I heard about it, big bummer. We then proceeded to get hammered on rum….anyway…) He called the show to pimp a new CD of his brother’s radio-style comedy that was created back in the 70’s called ‘’Phil Hartman, Flatscreen TV’’. He discussed the CD and talked at length with Todd and Tyler about Phil’s art career, in which he designed a lot of album covers through the 60’s to early 80’s. John also talked with TnT about his own career as a scriptwriter and film producer, as well as briefly talking about how he found out about the death of his brother. It was an interesting interview and the clip TnT played from the CD was quite funny. If you’re interested in buying it, it is available on Laugh.com - comedy cd albums records mp3s george carlin jokes funny cds and should be in Homers stores soon.

Travis came in with the sports today and was joined by Jimmy, the host of ‘’Cornhusker Inside Her’’ that airs tonight at 7pm on Sports 1490. TnT talked with Jimmy about his radio show and then the gang got into a lengthy discussion about the Huskers. Travis also did his sports report during this portion of the show, he had Tyler read the best love e-mail Trav’s ever received, and he also talked about some great ‘’For What It’s Worth’’ feedback he received. By the way, Jimmy and the Inside Her group will be out at Buffalo Wild Wings tonight doing their show live. Stop on out to see them if you are so inclined.

Brian Noonan from the Funny Bone joined the guys in studio this morning. During his visit, he talked with the guys about parenting, as Tyler’s new baby was a topic at the time. He then talked a little about his acting, which included a part on the Fox show ‘’Malcolm in the Middle’’. Brian also told TnT about his appearance on a new Game Show Network game show called ‘’Russian Roulette’’ in which people get dropped into a pit via a whole in the floor when they get a question wrong.

Noonan also joined in on all of the other topics of the day and really seemed to fit in well with TnT. As they conversed, he created several new characters for his act, most of which were spawned by various phone calls TnT took on a variety of today’s topics. One character, Arkansas Redneck guy, came about after a call from a listener who shared a road hummer story with the guys. I don’t recall all of the details but there was either a photo of the road hummer receiver’s daughter on his dashboard while he was enjoying his oral gift or he received the hummer while his two kids slept in the back seat. Make sure to get out to the Funny Bone for Brian’s show this weekend. If you make reservations for either the 6pm or 10:30pm shows on Saturday, you’ll get in 2 for 1. Call the Bone Phone at 493-8036. By the way, he’ll be joining TnT again tomorrow morning so tune in.

Michael Kelsey, guitar master, stopped in and hung out with the guys for a bit. He somehow got hooked up with the Fish Heads, who have been raving about his talent for a couple of months, and decided to make Omaha a stop on his tour. He played a couple of tunes for TnT and basically amazed them at what he could do with his ax. If you didn’t get the chance to hear him on the show this morning, you can check out his show at the Red Eye tonight or his Sunday show at Murphy’s. <<<::: Michael Kelsey:::>>> is his web address and you’re welcome to visit there as well.

Scotty From Husker Hounds, fresh from this morning’s Big Red Breakfast, swung by the studio today and gave Tyler a ‘’Husker Starter Kit’’ for his new little girl. Tyler politely accepted the gift and then informed Scotty that his daughter will NOT be a Husker fan. The gang talked about the Big Red Breakfast, full of old people according to Scotty, and discussed how business has been going during this letdown of a Husker season (both stores are still open, just two miles apart from each other). Scotty then told TnT he’s been hanging out with Crouch, nearly 2 hours yesterday, and Scotty seemed to think that he might be able to get Crouch up on the show, which TnT both sounded interested in.

BW returned to wrap up today’s Todd and Tyler show with the e-news. He started off the segment with a story about the guy from the TV show, ‘’The Bachelor’’ being in Lincoln. TnT responded by attacking him with some vibrators from a gift box Natasha Terry just sent them. The theory being, if BW was doing a story on The Bachelor, he must be in vagina-mode and what better way to celebrate vagina-mode than with a vibrator? The gang also played a couple of rounds of ‘’What was I watching?’’, which Brian Noonan really seemed to get a kick out of. Following that, Noonan nearly had a stroke during BW’s ‘’Who the hell is that?’’ celebrity birthday segment, as he seemed to be enjoying the Todd and Tyler show experience to the fullest.

Well, that’s it for today’s update. Tune in tonight at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay and make sure to rejoin the guys tomorrow at 5:30am for the Friday edition of the Todd and Tyler show. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-