Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Friday 12-6-02

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning by welcoming Black Tony to the studio, a Friday tradition. The three spent some time discussing how a black Santa at Crossroads has been getting a hard time from some racist people who think Santa should be white. On a related note, TnT mentioned a story from the news about a black family that moved into Beatrice. The article discussed how well they are fitting into the all white community. From the paper’s account, they family has been welcomed. TnT wondered if they would have been as welcomed if their son wasn’t such a good athlete. The discussion of black people in small, redneck Nebraska towns continued with a few phone calls from listeners. One caller checked in and said that he heard an old woman had phoned the police after seeing a black man in a Beatrice grocery store. After hearing her report of a brother in a supermarket, the officer basically said, ‘’So what?’’ The lady responded with something to the effect of, ‘’Well aren’t they supposed to register or something?’’ Also early in the show, TnT played a couple of rounds of ‘’What was I watching?’’ with their listeners.

BW came in with the news a little later in the show. During the news, Todd did what can only be described as the greatest Yosemite Sam impersonation ever. It was prompted by a story about the crankhead who was shot after the police had to bust down 4 doors in his home to get to him. TnT joked about all of the doors the guy had in his home to protect him from the police and that sparked Todd to remember the infamous Warner Brothers cartoon where an armored Yosemite Sam gets a draw bridge dropped on him saying, ‘’Open the gate, open the gate! Bonk. (muffled) Close the gate, close the gate!’’ Following that, the gang had a good laugh at a story about a Council Bluffs man who shoplifted bacon and eggs as well as stealing two store employees as he attempted his getaway.

Also during the news, the guys spent some time talking about how if they were in charge of things, nothing would be the way it is now. The topic came up after some stories in the news that prompted Tyler to say that there’s no way he could have ever invented anything. Some of the genius ideas that have come about over the last 100 years are all things that TnT wouldn’t have thought of or been able to create. If they were responsible for inventing things, we’d all just be ‘’laying in the grass humping, dying after 5 years.’’

As the news drew to a close, BW mentioned that he saw Tyler and James the Giant Vacation out in the parking lot of the station yesterday after the guys got off the air. BW was trying to figure out why Tyler’s vehicle was shaking around so much. After watching James and Tyler for about 10 minutes, he realized that they were attempting to buckle in a baby seat. BW was thoroughly amused by the whole ordeal and after expressing that, Tyler spent some time talking about the difficulty of car seats. Several callers checked in on the topic and told Tyler that there are places he can go to have the baby seat inspected to make sure it’s in properly, as Tyler mentioned the nurses at the hospital weren’t allowed to help him put it in yesterday because of legal worries. Although those calls were insightful, I was still haunted by the mental image of Peach and Tyler struggling in the back seat as BW watched from a far.

After the news, Todd and Tyler had a conversation about Christmas trees. They discussed the fake vs. real debate and then took some phone calls from listeners who shared their opinions, stories, and memories. One guy even suggested disposing of your old Christmas trees in your local farm pond to help enhance the fishing, which Todd seemed to agree with. From there, TnT read an e-mail from a listener speculating that the reason Jeremy is still single is because of his ‘’prissy boy laugh’’. The gang discussed everyone’s laughs and then BW claimed that he was able to change his laugh about 6 years ago by making a conscious effort to adjust it. Nobody seemed to believe that one could change their own laugh, though, and based on BW’s credibility as a news reporter, his claim went completely out the window.

Larry the Cable Guy checked in this morning with an odd commentary on how he can’t stop drinking Egg Nog. He elaborated further by explaining the gas problems the drink gives him, stating at one point that his egg nog farts ‘’would make a skunk hold up a white flag.’’ Larry will be off next week playing a casino in Vegas so we probably won’t be hearing from him. He will return to the TnT show on December 16^th though.

BW’s cousin Melissa backed out on this Monday’s speed dating at Brewsky’s because she’s getting back together with her old boyfriend. TnT had mentioned earlier in the week that they wanted to find a hot lady alternative for this week’s event. A listener named John phoned the guys and gave up his friend Sherry, stating that she wanted him to call and offer her up for the speed dating bit. TnT phoned her at work and asked her a couple of questions. They found out that Sherry’s 38-years-old, has a couple of teenage daughters, and from John’s account, she’s got a nice body and a pretty face. TnT then scheduled Sherry to join them in studio on Monday morning so she could spend an hour or so with them. At that time, they plan to get more details about Sherry, find out what types of guys she’s looking to date, and most likely schedule some speed daters for the Brewsky’s Monday Night Football party on the 9^th.

Travis came in with the sports report this morning, which included a lengthy discussion about an Arizona State player who was busted for having 87 pounds of pot in his car while driving through Illinois. Todd whipped out his drug calculator and estimated the value of the pot to be $14,000. Shortly thereafter, other potheads checked in and said Todd was off by a zero and that they figured the dollar value of the pot to be closer to $140,000. Lesson of the day: Pot makes zeros disappear. Travis also gave his Lock and Saint of the week this morning. His Lock is Oklahoma minus 7 against Colorado. His saint is Saint Nicholas, the guy who makes you put oranges, batteries, and leftover Halloween peeps into your kid’s socks, which Travis did for his children this morning. TnT then had their annual ‘’why the hell do you do that again?’’ discussion with Travis.

Todd and Tyler spoke to coach Dana Altman of the Creighton Blue Jays this morning. They’ve got a big game coming up tomorrow against BYU so the guys discussed that. They also covered the progression of the season so far and the upcoming game against the Huskers, which will be broadcast on KM3 if they sell 10,000 tickets. TnT will be speaking with coach Altman again in the near future so stay tuned.

Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper, and Richie Valens stopped by the studio and spent some time with TnT. The trio are appearing at the Funny Bone every Sunday through Tuesday for the next 4 weeks doing a slightly scaled down performance of their popular theater show. The Sunday show times are 3pm and 6pm, with the Monday and Tuesday shows taking place at 7:30. The three talked with Todd and Tyler about their show, doing a variety of songs from their play list, as well as discussing the history of the musical legends they portray. They also played a song written especially for Tyler about having a pregnant wife, which was very funny. Make sure to call the Bone Phone at 493-8036 for information or reservations.

Brian Noonan from the Funny Bone returned this morning and spent the last hour of the show hanging out with TnT. He joined in on the topics of the day, which seemed to consist mostly of e-news topics. The gang had a lengthy discussion about what happened at Altamont with the Chuckers of Love (he was there that day), they moved on to talk about the independence of Finland, Todd did his awesome Nick Nolte impression a few times, and the gang discussed getting on the bad side of normally polite cartoon squirrels.

Well that’s it for the Friday update. Tune in on Sunday night at 10pm for the 3^rd Shift Replay of this morning’s show and make sure to rejoin TnT on Monday at 5:30am as they kick off another week. Keep in mind that they’ll have Sherry the speed dater in studio on Monday so if you’d like to register, have a phone handy early. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-