Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Friday 1-10-03

Todd and Tyler started off the show with a little talk about last night’s dodge ball game in Bennington where the TnT Traveling Dodge Ball All Stars emerged victorious in a 6-0 battle to the end. They had an excellent turnout for the event, having to turn some people away after filling the gym. Everyone was in a little bit of pain today because they haven’t worked their dodge ball muscles in nearly a year so we got the injury report on many of last night’s participants at various times throughout today’s show.

The guys then talked about an article in Rolling Stone with Justin Timberlake where he stated that he went down on Brittany Spears and said that when he masturbates, he’s settling. Following that, they discussed a concept brought about by the movie ‘’Minority Report.’’ In the movie, there is a sex club where people can go to and be virtually turned into the opposite sex so they can experience what it is like to knock it out as a man/woman. They wondered aloud if they could be women for a day, who they’d like to sleep with most. Tyler had a stellar idea and said that if he was in a woman’s body, he’d go and find his male self and just bang himself.

Also early in the show, a frequent e-mailer named Michelle joined TnT. She stopped in to show the guys her boobs and get some of the herbal boob growing pills TnT have been talking about. When she whipped them out, she described them as ‘’small Bs’’, which TnT said were actually ‘’A+s’’. After seeing her cans, they awarded her with the pills and asked her to give them updates in the near future.

BW came in with the news a little later in the show. There was some talk about a few teachers in trouble for touching little boys, including new one, a math teacher from a local middle school. There was also another terrible child abuse story, one in a recent series of similar stories. BW then wrapped up the newscast with a horrible story about a mother and daughter team that froze a grandma.

TnT spoke to Channel 7’s Rob McCartney this morning about a wacky warning label story they did on the news last night. The last of three wacky warning labels had something to do with a massage chair that, on it’s warning label, stated that one should not put any body part in the back of the chair as it might get stuck in the moving rollers. The guys all had a laugh knowing that the reason that particular warning label now appears on the product is because some dumb guy put his throck in it and got stuck.

TnT’s Operations Manager Tom stopped by the studio today with a story for the guys. He was recently at an event and found himself standing in a circle with Omaha Mayor Mike Fahey, Eric Crouch, and Frank Solich. The mayor started talking to Tom about how much he likes the Todd and Tyler show and according to Tom, the conversation made Solich and Crouch ‘’turn white’’. TnT found the story hilarious, later pointing out that if Crouch and Solich would spend a little time in studio with TnT, they would find, as everyone else who has ever been in studio with them, that Todd and Tyler are a lot of fun to hang with.

Tyler made a brief comment about ethanol yesterday that spawned a hate e-mail, which the guys read this morning. Shortly after reading it, they received another e-mail from a listener with the opposing point of view who went on and on about all of the petroleum one burns up in the production of the corn-based ethanol. The guys really didn’t seem to care one way or another about the topic but seemed surprised that such a quick, meaningless comment could spawn such an uproar on the e-mail. Get over it people, you put stuff in your car and it goes, corn enhanced or not.

Todd and Tyler continued their virtual sex talk a little later in the show. They started asking people if they were able to switch their own sex for a day, what person of the newly opposite sex would they like to bang, keeping in mind that the whole concept has nothing to do with homosexuality. Travis said he’d bang Denzell Washington, Todd said he’d throw a sympathy boning to BW, and James the Giant Peach said he’d hop on Midget Brian. TnT then spent the remainder of the show posing the same question to most of the callers who checked in on the topics of the day.

Larry the Cable Guy phoned TnT today for the first time since they left the air before Christmas. He talked with the guys about the Blue Collar Tour movie, which is being tested today in select cities and should be released nation wide on Feb. 7th. He also told the guys he’d bang the cop from the ‘’Dukes of Hazard’’ show if he were a woman for a day. He then went into his commentary this morning that seemed to center on Larry’s hatred for cats, based totally on cats being independent and seeming to have attitudes.

J Medicine Hat phoned in this morning to inform the guys that he wouldn’t be joining them in studio because he had to go pick up his kid today. He did tell the guys about two great shows he did last night at the Funny Bone and reminded everyone that there is going to be an x-rated show on Monday night. For reservations to any of Hat’s shows this weekend, phone the Bone at 493-8036.

Travis came in with the sports report this morning. During his visit, the gang spent quite a bit of time discussing last night’s dodge ball game. Travis said he felt a little weird last night because he was all dressed up in the dodge ball uniform waiting to hear his name announced in front of a crowd of 1000 people. Trav eventually got to this morning’s sports report.

Senator Ben Nelson phoned in this morning and talked with Todd and Tyler for a bit. They discussed a recent World Herald article labeling Ben as a ‘’maverick in Washington’’. That led the gang to talk about party lines and how Ben votes for his constituency, not his party. TnT also asked Ben if he’s still getting bugged about switching teams and going to the Republican dark side, which he said does occur once in a while. There was some talk about the impending war in Iraq and the guys tried to get Ben’s read on whether or not it is actually going to happen. Ben seemed to think that the build-up is necessary regardless of whether or not the US goes ahead with the war. Todd and Tyler also asked Ben about whom he would throw his support to as a democratic presidential candidate but Ben wouldn’t give a solid answer on that because it’s a bit too early. Before letting him go, Todd asked Ben once again if Ben could make him the official Commissioner of Fishing for the State, to which Ben didn’t seem too keen on.

TnT spoke to the man juice diet lady this morning, Kim Kelly. She told the guys that she was only on the diet for 8 days because she ran out of funding. During that 8-day period, she ate about 40 oz of man juice from a ton of guys and lost about 5 pounds. She then said that she would like to get some more funding and get a big RV together to travel the country to get ‘’fed’’ by men from all the states. Kim said she’d make it a point to hit Omaha during the proposed RV trip if TnT could promise to get some guys together to ‘’feed’’ her.

BW returned later in the show with the entertainment report. The gang bagged on the Dixie Chicks for covering ‘’Landslide’’ by Fleetwood. The three then harmonized as the Dixie Chicks to point out how horrible twanging up the tune is. Following that, they played the original version of the tune to show people what it should sound like. As you might imagine, the conversation about the Dixie Chicks cover led the guys into a discussion about a variety of other unnecessary musical remakes.

Also during the e-news, a listener named John brought in what he thought was horse rectum. It actually turned out to be cow intestine soup. After Jeremy microwaved the bowl and had it blow up in his face, Jeremy tasted it on the air and gave it the raving ‘’yuck’’ review. John told TnT about the restaurant he bought the soup at and explained that he was told horse meat is hard to get and that’s why he had to settle for the cow intestine soup. This discussion led to the mental creation of the funny as hell ‘’Hot Horse Rectum Pockets’’.

BW wrapped up the e-news with something called the Darwin Awards, a list of a bunch of odd ways people died. One guy died from his own farts, another shot himself in the head while accidentally picking up a gun on his nightstand instead of the phone. The last one he read actually appeared on the Lewis Black ‘’White Album’’ CD and was about a couple of Bubbas in Arkansas who used a 22 bullet as a fuse in their truck on their way home from a frog gigging expedition. One of the guys ended up getting his nut shot off when the bullet overheated due to the electrical current being sent through it.

Well that’s it for the Friday update. If you missed today’s show, you’ll be able to catch it on Sunday night at 10pm when it airs as the 3^rd Shift Replay. Make sure to rejoin the guys on Monday at 5:30am as they kick off another week of shows. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-