Todd and Tyler Unauthorized Forums

Tuesday 1-21-03

Todd and Tyler started off their show this morning with some talk of last night’s Creighton game that aired on KM3. Somewhere between 8-9000 people showed up for the event, a large number were ban wagon fans attending the game because it has become the place to be seen. Both the guys either heard or watched the game and one line in particular from Travis stuck out in their minds. When referring to a lucky bounce, Trav said the shooter ‘’got a friendly rim on the road.’’ Todd and Tyler both found Trav’s line quite funny and wondered if he realized what he said when he said it. The guys then put the Creighton talk on hold until later in the program.

Also early, TnT then read over an e-mail from a listener mad at all of the New Years resolution gym-goers who are taking up his machine time, a problem TnT have run into in the past. Following that, Tyler talked about going out to eat last night, figuring no one would be out on a Monday evening. He was, as you might imagine, completely wrong. This is Omaha, after all, and all there is to do is eat out.

The guys then took a moment to read over something that was sent to them from their lawyer friend, Michael, which was forwarded to him by an Iowa judge. What they read was from an Iowa Court of Appeals decision about a case involving a co-owner of a pizza chain prevalent in parts of Nebraska and Iowa called ‘’Pizza Ranch’’. The man in the case, Vander Esch, was busted for telling some of the young boys that worked for him that he was doing prostate research and would pay them $30 to give him some of their sperm. To make them comfortable, he whipped out his own throck before asking them to twist one off while wearing a condom. The then ‘’milked’’ the teenage boy, reasoning that he was licensed to handle the ‘’collection device’’ in order to make sure the sample wasn’t exposed to the air, killing the swimmers. The guy then either tossed the tied-up and filled condoms in a freezer for safe keeping and on one occasion drove the donor to an Iowa hospital and made him stay in the car while he went into the hospital to ‘’give them the sample’’, which TnT speculated he most likely tossed in a trashcan.

BW returned from his snow-Arkansas vacation with the newscast for this morning. The gang spent some time talking about the new water filtration chemicals Omaha is using, they discussed how Elk Horn just banned the use of bows and arrows inside their city limits, the gang had a lengthy discussion about avalanches, and then BW wrapped up the news with two wonderful stories; the first was of a small child who was randomly shot while eating in a burger joint in California and the second was about an 80-year-old man being burned by a burglar who tossed boiling water on him. Ah, it’s heartwarming stories like these that we’ve missed out on while BW was away. Welcome back Brian.

The guys were scheduled for a 7:30 interview with a Middle East expert to discuss the possible upcoming war. Consequently, they spent some time talking about the current situation over there and how it all relates to the US’s military build-up and the war on terrorism in general. The guys both seem sick of the rhetoric being tossed around by many overseas claiming that the US is evil. They’re just not sure why everyone hates us. After all, this country seems to help out everyone else on the planet. Tyler, using WWII as an example, pointed out that even after bombing Japan, we helped them rebuild. ‘’Japan, those bitches’’ he said. Kuwait, too, was mentioned. TnT went further by saying that right now, it’s Muslims that the US is concerned with, as many of the overseas followers think the US is nothing but a bunch of devils. Citing another example, the guys pointed to the Muslim Mosque that was just busted over in Europe for being some sort of terrorist hub. As their conversation heated, the guys found out that their interview was pushed back until 9:30am. They decided to put the subject on hold and bring in the sports director for a little Creighton chat.

Travis then came in spent quite a bit of time discussing last night’s Creighton game with Todd and Tyler. The guys commented on Trav’s call of the game, as did many listeners who phoned in, and everyone seemed quite pleased with his performance. ‘’It’s the most fun I’ve ever had’’, said Trav. The guys asked him about the ‘’friendly rim on the road’’ comment and then brainstormed ideas for other clichés Trav could use while calling the games. They all seemed to like the idea of referring to the free throw line as ‘’the Welfare line’’. The gang continued their conversation during the sports report by sharing much insight on the world of college basketball in general. They also discussed Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty Travis Keith’s love affair with Buddy Holly of ‘’Buddy at the Bone’’ fame, who will be in studio on Friday to make out with Attaboy in person. By the way, after receiving all of the love from TnT and many of the callers, TnT brought Trav back down to earth with a couple of hate e-mails from people who think Trav sucks.

With all of the Creighton talk during the sports, TnT got coach Dana Altman on the phone to discuss his team. The coach seems quite pleased with their performance so far but pointed out that the team needs to remain level-headed and work on the rebounds and defense. As far as the recent hype surrounding the Blue Jays, coach Altman said that it might help to get them into more homes when he’s recruiting and said he enjoys seeing so many fans in the stands. I’m sure we’ll hear more from the coach as this season progresses so stay tuned.

Gino from the Brass Grille stopped in this morning with an announcement for TnT and their listeners. He’s recently sold his restaurant at 1207 Harney and has purchased a building in which he plans to run his own catering business out of, Come’on Into My Kitchen Catering.’’ Gino pointed to the time limitations he’s had in terms of his family over the last 10 years as the main reason he’s decided to leave the restaurant business and now he’ll be able to work primarily with his wife, offering him more time for his kids as well. Gino said that the Brass Grille would most likely not make any drastic changes in the near future, as the same cooks will be working there. He also said that the Todd and Tyler Melt would be remaining on the menu. Good luck in your new business opportunity Gino! Need yourself a web site? I’m cheap.

Todd and Tyler spoke to Middle East expert Crom Carmichael this morning regarding the trouble in the Middle East. He explained that many of the middle eastern Muslims who hate the US are taught to do so in their schools and ‘’hate the American dream’’ for the same reasons. Due to ‘’ignorance’’ and the fact that many Western books aren’t translated into something they can read, their educational opportunities to see the world view of things is terribly limited. Crom also explained that some European nations just flat out suck at foreign policy and that’s why they don’t like us.

As their interview with Crom continued, he explained that the situation in the Middle East and their religion is similar to that of Communism. Where Communism collapsed upon itself because of economic reasons, the trouble with Muslim fundamentalists is that their religion stands no chance of such a self-collapse. For that reason, he doesn’t see things getting fixed in the Middle East any time soon. As far as his thoughts on war, he seemed to think it will be necessary, citing the need for a regime change in Iraq. It was a very interesting interview this morning. Perhaps TnT will have Crom back on the air with them in the near future, as more sabers are rattled in the Middle East in coming weeks.

While visiting with Gino and awaiting the e-news to be written, Todd and Tyler reintroduced their discussion about the Iowa Court of Appeals case they mentioned earlier in the show. The gang spent a bit more time analyzing what Vander Esch did, focusing and deeply concentrating on the ‘’milking’’.

BW returned later in the show with the e-news. He mentioned that Jack apologized to Omaha after getting his Golden Globe for ‘’About Schmidt’’ for walking around his rental home naked while he was in town. I guess he felt that the image of him naked deserved an apology to any Omaha resident who might have caught a glimpse. The gang then spent some time discussing the new season of ‘’American Idol’’, which starts tonight. They speculate that people are getting on the show now knowing they suck just to achieve their 15 minutes of fame. Then, as BW continued, everyone seemed pleased to hear that ‘’The Simpsons’’ are going to be on the air for another two years.

Also during the e-news, TnT whipped out some solid gold hits from the 70’s and spent some time singing their asses off. They belted out one of the best versions of ‘’Baby, Baby Don’t Get Hooked On Me’’ that I’ve ever heard. I mean I had chills, tingling, and a warm fuzzy feeling. They sang a couple of other tunes, too. A bit later, they read an e-mail from someone who hates their singing and the guys had to explain that they know they’re not any good at it, they just do it for fun and to piss off people just like the person who hate e-mailed. Following that, BW wrapped up the e-news segment with a terribly uninteresting open letter by an abstinent Northwestern University student to the school’s paper who was pissed at her neighbors for having ‘’porn star sex’’. TnT promptly scolded him for e-news closer.

Well Todd and Tyler will be joined by Dr. Ed tomorrow so have your medical questions prepared. If you missed this morning’s show, you can catch it re-airing tonight at 10pm on Z-92 as the 3^rd Shift Replay. Make sure to join TnT tomorrow at 5:30am for the Wednesday edition of their show. It should be another stellar performance so don’t miss it. Thanks for watching. Good night. -Corby-